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You're a biker when... - 9/26/2007 2:14:27 AM

InkedMaster

Posts: 342
Joined: 7/14/2007
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YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BIKER WHEN...

- You ever bought saddlebags so you can carry more beer.

- Your girl follows you to the party with the car so you can take more beer.

- Your best friends are named after animals.

- Your best shoes have steel toes.

- You have motorcycle parts in the dishwasher.

- Your idea of jewelry is chains and barbwire.

- You can tell what kind of bugs they are by the taste of them.

- You're only sunburned on the back of your hands.

- You carry around a crushed beer can in the case of soft tar when you park the bike.

- You pull your bike into the motel room and use a bath towel to wipe it off.

- Your girl friend has to climb over the bike to do the laundry in the basement.

- You carry a picture of your bike in your wallet.

- Any day you ride is a good day.

- Your other vehicle is a truck with motorcycle ramps in it.

- You get hit by a Taxi in N.Y.C., slide 80 yards and ride the bike home 30 miles with a fractured hip.

- You've been too drunk to Piss but not to drunk to ride your bike home.

- Your three piece suit are Chaps, Leather Vests & a Leather Jacket.

- You don't think its a good party till someone rides his or her bike in and does doughnuts in the living room.

- You think Tequila is a Sex Aide.

- You wake up next to your girl and your first thought is if your bike will start.

- Your kids learn to ride on the back of your bike before they can walk.

- Your garage has more square footage than your house.

- Your coffee table collapses from the weight of easyrider and outlaw biker magazines on it.

- You throw a party and more bikes show up than cars.

- Your kids take a primary chain to Show and Tell .

- All your ashtrays are pistons from your last engine rebuild.

_____________________________

TOURETTE SYNDROME: It's no mother f*cking joke, you God d*mn c*ck sucking f*ck!

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy

-Owner of eyesopened- and damn PROUD of her!

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RE: You're a biker when... - 9/26/2007 6:19:43 AM

VadFarkas

Posts: 923
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline

Damn... I can pretty much say been there done that to all of the above.
Some not quite exsactly... like the kids taking a chain to school but my grandson
just brought home a photo of my chopper he drew in school this week, etc.
If I had more time I'd adjust every line. hahaha

(in reply to InkedMaster)

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RE: You're a biker when... - 9/26/2007 8:05:38 AM

Saratov

Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

You build a rack on the back of your scoot to hold your folding walker and oxygen tank.

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RE: You're a biker when... - 9/26/2007 8:35:52 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: InkedMaster

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BIKER WHEN...

- You ever bought saddlebags so you can carry more beer. (or you wrap your tools in a towel and bungee them to the handlebars to free up more "beer space")

- Your girl follows you to the party with the car so you can take more beer. (been there, done that)

- Your best friends are named after animals. (or your animals are named after your best friends)

- Your best shoes have steel toes. (and mud makes them look better)

- You have motorcycle parts in the dishwasher. (and in the nightstand drawer, the linen closet, the old toy box the kids outgrew, oh yeah...and tupperware is not just for food)

- Your idea of jewelry is chains and barbwire. (chains make nice belts too)

- You can tell what kind of bugs they are by the taste of them. (guess I never really thought that hard about it)

- You're only sunburned on the back of your hands. (and you have raccoon face)

- You carry around a crushed beer can in the case of soft tar when you park the bike. (and a pocket full of ball bearings for tailgaters)

- You pull your bike into the motel room and use a bath towel to wipe it off. (or when you check in you request extra towels specifically for that purpose)

- Your girl friend has to climb over the bike to do the laundry in the basement. (wow, you mean some people don't have to do this?)

- You carry a picture of your bike in your wallet. (and it's the first one in there)

- Any day you ride is a good day. (that goes without saying)

- Your other vehicle is a truck with motorcycle ramps in it. (or two good strong boards)

- You get hit by a Taxi in N.Y.C., slide 80 yards and ride the bike home 30 miles with a fractured hip. (and you don't even realize you're hurt til the next day)

- You've been too drunk to Piss but not to drunk to ride your bike home. (and you sing "Could have been the whiskey, might have been the gin...." at the top of your lungs all the way home.)

- Your three piece suit are Chaps, Leather Vests & a Leather Jacket. (and you don't even have to worry about getting them wrinkled)

- You don't think its a good party till someone rides his or her bike in and does doughnuts in the living room. (around the pool table)

- You think Tequila is a Sex Aide. (it's not????)

- You wake up next to your girl and your first thought is if your bike will start. (as long as she's got working legs, she can always push start ya)

- Your kids learn to ride on the back of your bike before they can walk. (and the photographer understands the need for the bike to be a focal point in those first pics)

- Your garage has more square footage than your house. (isn't this the norm?)

- Your coffee table collapses from the weight of easyrider and outlaw biker magazines on it. (I think it might have been because of that motor, but hey, I'm sure the mags didn't help)

- You throw a party and more bikes show up than cars. (well, realistically you only need two beer cars for every ten people)

- Your kids take a primary chain to Show and Tell . ( or carb parts, or lifters, or...oh hell, parts is parts)

- All your ashtrays are pistons from your last engine rebuild. (and the better ones make great change trays for your nightstand)

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 9/26/2007 8:40:04 AM >

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: You're a biker when... - 9/26/2007 9:26:08 AM

VadFarkas

Posts: 923
Joined: 6/7/2007
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- You ever bought saddlebags so you can carry more beer.
One side beer one side ice

- Your girl follows you to the party with the car so you can take more beer. Followed in the truck to haul the camping equipment

- Your best friends are named after animals. Some are even named Animal

- Your best shoes have steel toes. Most do

- You have motorcycle parts in the dishwasher. Bathtub and sink, never had a dishwasher

- Your idea of jewelry is chains and barbwire. I make my own

- You can tell what kind of bugs they are by the taste of them. Ever have a grasshopper up your nose

- You're only sunburned on the back of your hands. Face looks like a raccoon

- You carry around a crushed beer can in the case of soft tar when you park the bike. I upgraded to a electric box cover on a string.

- You pull your bike into the motel room and use a bath towel to wipe it off. Have had the bike in the room with sign saying not to use towels on bike.

- Your girl friend has to climb over the bike to do the laundry in the basement. It get's crowed with both bikes.

- You carry a picture of your bike in your wallet. I don't but the wife does.

- Any day you ride is a good day. Of course.

- Your other vehicle is a truck with motorcycle ramps in it. And it said Harley Hawler in the tailgate.

- You get hit by a Taxi in N.Y.C., slide 80 yards and ride the bike home 30 miles with a fractured hip. Rode bike to hospital once and ambulance once and home many times.

- You've been too drunk to Piss but not to drunk to ride your bike home.Got lots of stories to prove it. Don't do it anymore.

- Your three piece suit are Chaps, Leather Vests & a Leather Jacket. Many variations of them also.

- You don't think its a good party till someone rides his or her bike in and does doughnuts in the living room. Fired up bikes in the house and inside apartment building, no doughnuts however.

- You think Tequila is a Sex Aide.Don't need Adult Beverages as sex aids but have had Tequila once or twice...

- You wake up next to your girl and your first thought is if your bike will start. Specially on road trips.

- Your kids learn to ride on the back of your bike before they can walk.Very true in my case, dad never had a car till I was 8 years old.

- Your garage has more square footage than your house. Garage is way to small they always are.

- Your coffee table collapses from the weight of easyrider and outlaw biker magazines on it. Had my chopper's photos and articles in both of those magazines.

- You throw a party and more bikes show up than cars. Had em parked up and down the street many times.

- Your kids take a primary chain to Show and Tell .Took the kids to school on the bike

- All your ashtrays are pistons from your last engine rebuild. Bike stuff all over.

(in reply to mistoferin)

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RE: You're a biker when... - 9/26/2007 4:13:29 PM

InkedMaster

Posts: 342
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

ahhhhh gotta love scooter trash...

_____________________________

TOURETTE SYNDROME: It's no mother f*cking joke, you God d*mn c*ck sucking f*ck!

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy

-Owner of eyesopened- and damn PROUD of her!

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RE: You're a biker when... - 9/26/2007 6:04:24 PM

Crush

Posts: 1031
Status: offline

Check...check....not yet...check....check....check.....(....).....

I ride to work every day unless I *have* to carry something in I can't strap to my cycle.    And I've strapped some strange things.     (Ever take a laser printer to work on your cycle? I have...).

One day I'll relate the story of how I rode and flew (from) a Harley at 65 mph....oh heck, sure...

It was a cold day after Thanksgiving. We were going on an after-Turkeyday ride. My ride wasn't working (repairing the starter) so I was able to borrow my buddies Sportster.   Originally my wife wanted to ride it but opted to ride her cycle instead.

This was not any Sporty, but one that was "reworked" quite a bit.   Dual disk brakes with metallic calipers, high end rebuild, forward controls.   Heck, I was in 3rd gear and still blowing fuel at 65mph.   Way set for performance. And WAY top heavy.

So we're crusing through Ocala. Stopped for lunch.   Then back on the road.   I'm feeling a little comfortable with the bike now, so instead of following WAYYYYY back, I'm riding a few lengths behind.   Tooling along the divided highway Just Fine. (And still hoping to get enough speed to actually get to 4th gear!)

Then the ride leader decides to pull into a median cutover. Quickly. I brake.   Well, I missed the rear brake (which slows your tail down) and grabbed the front brake.   Those metallic pads on those dual front disks stop....instantly!

The next thing I know the bike is upside down and I'm going "Awwww f****ck!" Yep, the front wheel had locked up and the back end decided it wasn't ready to stop (I did miss the rear brake control, ya know) and it kept going up and over.

Normally you are dead at this moment, since that bike wants to land on you...all 500 lbs of the critter.   But somehow I "got off" the bike and started rolling down the center grassy median. All the time I'm thinking "I'm glad I'm wearing a helmet....I'm glad I'm wearing a helmet..." for 75 ft!

The bike? It landed on its side and left a mark 65 ft long in the cement roadway.    Handlebars at 90 degrees from normal. A heck of a scrape on the bags. And some busted plastic and chrome.   I ended up paying the deductible. It turned out that the Harley shop was only about 1/4 mile from the scene.....we rode the bike down there from the scene, very gingerly!

So after I stopped rolling I jumped up and raced back to check on the bike. Yep!    Since it was cold I had been wearing EVERY piece of leather (take that, PETA!) I owned, my helmet, gauntlets, goggles, long underwear, etc.   I ended up with a bruise on my shoulder and a skinned knee...the leather didn't abrade through, but the denim of my jeans did rub against my skin.   And of course, I DID plan to keep riding it back home if it wasn't dinged "too badly."

BTW, I did get a "10.0" on my "dismount" from the riders (including the guy who owned the bike) behind me.   And all my wife heard (since she was in front of me) was "Dennis is down, Dennis is down!   Dennis is up?!?!?!"

A firetruck was on its way back and saw my accident. Stopped and checked me out.   I was OK, especially for someone who should have been on his way to a hospital after that!

The really sad part was having to "ride bitch" on the rest of the ride back home.   THAT sucked!

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RE: You're a biker when... - 9/26/2007 6:05:50 PM

scifi1133

Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
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lmao this was great. I guess im just scooter trash then...born and raised .

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