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RE: Over stepping? - 9/26/2007 5:35:57 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I've been there before and I always just played it safe and asked if it was ok to surprise them with something. What little I 'lose' is more than gained by the security of having the go-ahead without any apprehension. And next time, I'll know better to talk about surprises way ahead of time and know what's going to be good and what isn't.

Topping from the bottom isn't when the bottom takes the lead, makes the choices or even keeps things going.

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RE: Over stepping? - 9/26/2007 5:45:54 PM

RRafe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

If I have what I think is a great idea for a scene....and I am confident my Master will LOVE it...and want to surprise Him with it...is that "Topping from the bottom?" I don't want to ask Him..."HEY!...is it ok if I give You this really cool surprise?" kinda takes away from it a bit LOL.

Hmm, would really "depend" on what it was.

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RE: Over stepping? - 9/27/2007 5:23:05 PM

ProlificNeeds

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I think the key, in presenting your ideas in any form or situation, is to lay them out, and let him know, he controls it even though you set it up. Inginuity and the desire to be assertive and outgoing should not be punished, so long as it's done in a constructive way that keeps in mind always, he can, and will modify what he sees set up, to his own liking. Example, you could lay out a candle lit dinner for him as a surprise. He might say "Great idea.. but I have a better one." and decide to put you on the plate and use the candles for something other than mood lighting.

Definitely discuss with him first his take on you planning surprises in leisurely setting. While surprises are great, you may have to compromise enough to let him know when surprises are coming, so that you do not infringe upon a schedual he has been planning, or instead, ask for a block of empty time in which he grants to you the freedom to plan whatever you like for that set time.

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RE: Over stepping? - 9/27/2007 6:19:24 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

If I have what I think is a great idea for a scene....and I am confident my Master will LOVE it...and want to surprise Him with it...is that "Topping from the bottom?" I don't want to ask Him..."HEY!...is it ok if I give You this really cool surprise?" kinda takes away from it a bit LOL.

My advice when it comes to topping from the bottom is to not worry aobut it, worry about what works for you.

Last night Val and I got really intense and primal. I ended up scratching his back, drawing blood and sucking on the wound so hard it left a rather lovely purple bruise. For some people, that is dominant behavior and I was topping from the bottom. For us? It was just really fucking hot and he enjoyed the rare unsheathing of my claws.

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RE: Over stepping? - 9/27/2007 8:14:47 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

If I have what I think is a great idea for a scene....and I am confident my Master will LOVE it...and want to surprise Him with it...is that "Topping from the bottom?" I don't want to ask Him..."HEY!...is it ok if I give You this really cool surprise?" kinda takes away from it a bit LOL.

My advice when it comes to topping from the bottom is to not worry aobut it, worry about what works for you.

Last night Val and I got really intense and primal. I ended up scratching his back, drawing blood and sucking on the wound so hard it left a rather lovely purple bruise. For some people, that is dominant behavior and I was topping from the bottom. For us? It was just really fucking hot and he enjoyed the rare unsheathing of my claws.

I can dig it...I have a picture of my Masters back after one of those times...I didn't draw blood, but maybe next time

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RE: Over stepping? - 9/28/2007 4:29:51 AM

MasterFrog

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I do believe that honesty is the best policy, since you call him your master I take it you are a slave. asking a question with his permission shouldn't bring problems, just remember his decision is final.
It wouldn't hurt to ask.

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RE: Over stepping? - 9/28/2007 9:18:09 AM

twistedkytten

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I have learned that it is rarely what is said.. (within reason) but rather how it is said, asked or begged for.
I would not be able to surprise Master in that manner.. however, I have expressed how exciting something might be.

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RE: Over stepping? - 9/28/2007 9:38:57 AM

Koala

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There's no reason that you couldn't share the idea or fantasy of it... as long as it's just an "idea" and not "let's do this"...

When a sub opens up to me like that... respectfully and honestly, I'll be sure to listen. I'm intuitive enough to know what she's after... and perhaps it may be used as a reward for good behavior when she least expects it.

Then again, I may be quite different from your Dom!

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RE: Over stepping? - 9/28/2007 9:16:26 PM

CatKnight

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A good question. And I think you've received some good answers.

I LIKE chellekitty's idea of writing a hot story, then letting his imagination run wild. I know, assuming I liked it, it would instantly go in my bag of tricks for the future.

Talking about it is a good idea too. I see nothing wrong with asking for what you want. After all, communication is the backbone of any relationship - and the backbone of trust as well. A good master (IMHO...) should encourage his sub's creativity. Trying to come up with new ideas is rather taxing.

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RE: Over stepping? - 9/28/2007 11:44:28 PM

Totalmaster4you

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Greetings breatheasone,

To my way of thinking this is a simple communications dilhemma. As some others have said topping from the bottom is a form of manipulation which is not your intent as you've descibed it. Therefore it come down to are you a submissive or a slave. If you're a submissive then you ask if you can plan a surprize for your Master. If you are a slave you beg to plan something for him. In either case you share only what's necessary to gain his approval. If he declines don't argue just accept his decision. If he does decline wait for maybe a month and approach him with it as a suggestion for a scene. Begging or asking as appropriate. That way if he likes it you still get to enjoy the scene.

I wish you well,
TM4Y

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