Hello blackwolf99; In West African Nigerian culture, polygamy is practised in which a man may have more than one wife as long as he can maintain them all to the same standard. Eg: If the children of one wife attend private school then the children of the other wives should also. If he builds or buys a house for one wife he would have to do so for the other wife / wives so that there is equity and fairness and less opportunity for jealousy to spoil the collaborative dynamic within the family. It is typical for the first wife to be regarded as the Alpha or senior wife and the wives that follow have to be respectful and subserviant to the Alpha first wife under the guidance of the husband. In Nigeria, polygamy is not a revolving door in which the husband has a wife or wives and then changes them or indulges in extra marital affairs. The ideal and what I know is practised is that he tells the existing wife / wives that he has aspiration to court for another wife or that he has identified a potential new wife to court. Also, it is unheard of for wives to be having Bisexual sex with each other. Some women in Nigeria are Bi or gay but they would not enter a Poly marriage to have sex with a Poly wife.
Polygamy happens for various reasons and wanting to have sex with other people is not always the primary reason - could be that the family are seeking to produce a male heir or that the existing wife / wives has children that have the sickle cell virus and so it is a prudent action to increase the gene pool of the children in the family . Sometimes the man simply wants the attention of more than one woman for sex or romance and each wife provides a different flavour and the husband can have some spice and still be respectful and not cheating his Alpha and other wives. There was a wealthy Poly family I knew of where it was common knowledge that the man had married several wives for different reasons including, Alpha wife was his college sweetheart from when he was young, one wife brought wealth into the family via businesses she had etc, 2 others were for children, the younger one he married in his later years was for romance. The wives all have conjugal access on rota + emotional care and support and social status as a conseuence / follow on from marrying a wealthy man and into a successful and stable Poly family. Sometimes, if the Alpha wife is beyond child bearing age or less sexually active for what ever reason It is not common for wives to be brought into the family and then interchanged i.e the leave the family for new wives and so in that way West African polygamy is much more stable than BDSM poly relationships as stated by some of the respondents here in which there is an Alpha poly partner and then play partners outside that get changed etc. The husband knows he has to be faithful to his wives and if he wishes to court another he must have consent from Alpha wife and the other wives etc.
In Islam as practised in Nigeria (the Nigerian Muslims are mostly Sunni i.e the follow the Saudi Arabian style of Islam which is considered quite secular and not extreme) , a man is allowed to have up to 4 wives who he must love and look after to an equal standard. I have observed that with both the Islamic and the West African Nigerian polygamy system the wives have fair portion of conjugal access with the husband. In Nigeria I know it is not typical or even done for wives to be bisexual with each other and a man does not go out seeking a wife to have sex with his existing wife / wives etc. In my observation the best i/e most harmonious poly families have unity and peace and chappy habitation amongst the wives and the children when the husband father has a mature outlook, is calm and grounded and fair , reasonable and also has the financial means to ensure that the wives can focus on the home and looking after the children and supporting him and don't have to deal with the stress of earning a living and then sharing their limited earnings into the family pot etc as jealousy and resentments can arise from such as well as other things such as one wife being perceived to be having more attention or more of the family wealth spent on her and her children etc.
In Nigeria, a fairly attractive female of child bearing or even mature age - if she is being courted by a wealthy man who has a poly household then she knows she is going to have a good life and will never have to work again etc and that her children have good prospects of doing well in society etc. Polygamy does not suit everyone. I think females need certain temperament and resilience within them eg to be pragmatic and calm, able to nurture because the person would sometimes have to look after not just their own but their sister wive's child / children even if just occasionally, to be patient and be willing to share and able to cope with some separation from spouse at times etc. When I was younger I would not have minded being a wife in an affluent Poly family as I know it would have guaranteed me an affluent home, high social status and the best education for my children + expensive holidays etc. Now, as a single mature person now that is seeking a relationship I would not settle for a poly relationship as for me now, children is not an issue and in London UK here the poly men that have approached me give the impression that they want to have a taste of me which in my own view is not what Poly is about as in my culture Poly is not primarily there to facilitate for a person to have permission to have sex with other people and I find that annoying to the point of being disgusted and also disrespectful and I am very happy to deprive them of having such pleasure i.e for me to be used. Poly is not meant to be for harem acquisition - A harem is where sex workers / concubines / mistresses are kept. I prefer the Nigerian / West African / Islamic Poly lifestyle which is much more stable and provides better care and support to all involved
Anthropologically, from thousands of years ago, my ancestors were practising Polygamy as a means of ensuring that no women remained unwed, that no woman remained without the protection of a man which was an important thing to have and also that no woman remained without children unless though barrenness etc as the society needed enough and plentiful children to grow and become the next generation of farmers and warriors to protect the land etc. Also to replenish those that died from childhood diseases and accidents when there were less medical resources to save lives etc. I'm not knocking what people enjoy in the BDSM scene now - just showing you a different perspective. I hope this helps to give some awareness and a different prospective to the poly issue.
Kind regards at you blackwolf99 and all here :).
fascinating read. i recently read a few pages of islam that will never fit with my life.
there is no way anyone, organization or creature claiming to be a deity is going to get me to agree with removing clits. i love them. i love licking them and kissing them and pleasing on and on for hours.
i will also never agree with killing christians, jews and infidels for disagreeing with islam. it's mentioned over 70 times in the book. hardly a peaceful argument for growing a culture.
no one in islam is going to convince me that throwing homosexuals off of rooftops is a good idea just because they are gay. if you believe that wives having sex with each other, is unheard of, i got a bridge to sell you. some do. it is a statistical fact. they hide because they will be raped and stoned in an honor killing if they brag about it. they get called whores, when all of us over here know that is not what whores do.
i don't need other cultures to influence my life. i don't need liars changing the definition of words and i don't need bullies telling what i should be doing with my women. not gonna happen. i am doing just fine with the home grown cultures.
i love women. i want them to be free. i want them to wear what they want, read what they want, understand what they want, choose who they want. if a few start choose me, surrender to me or claim to be my slaves, i will fight for them to be free even more.
< Message edited by mythicalsex -- 9/30/2016 1:24:26 PM >