Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Polyamorous Lifestyles >> RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly Page: <<   < prev  8 9 [10] 11 12   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 8/23/2016 5:25:31 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14373
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mythicalsex


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

A man only has one dick! The chances of one dick plunging into two vaginas or more at the same time, I don't know, you need a split dick! Not great for sharing seriously! Gotta take turns for his attention. And then worst of all, if he is only a one time cummer for that night. You're screwed. If you aren't the first priority.



For me... that was not the complication. i have pretty amazing stamina, i am told. solo link available. i am also equally good with my mouth. i have had a few. they ended differently. different reasons all together. no two women are alike.

i like poly relationships. i love female attention. not everyone thinks it is worth all the extra work. i think it is worth it.







Well, I'm actually bi-sexual, really bi-sexual, not just bi-sexual because guys like it....so I enjoy having a female around.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to mythicalsex)
Profile   Post #: 181
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 8/23/2016 7:01:14 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32561
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
To be honest, the biggest part of the problem is that Poly people hit on people who aren't looking for Poly. They're like door to door salesmen...they'll hit up 100 houses, not caring that the majority don't want what their selling and will most likely be annoyed, on the off chance that they can talk one person into trying it.

TY, OSIDE!

This was something that I said last week on the 'who pays for a first date' thread. It was largely ignored, but this is the "why" of my philosophy about not (seriously) hitting on people that aren't already poly. Thank you for bringing this up.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 182
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 8/23/2016 11:35:35 PM   
mythicalsex


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/30/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: mythicalsex


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

A man only has one dick! The chances of one dick plunging into two vaginas or more at the same time, I don't know, you need a split dick! Not great for sharing seriously! Gotta take turns for his attention. And then worst of all, if he is only a one time cummer for that night. You're screwed. If you aren't the first priority.



For me... that was not the complication. i have pretty amazing stamina, i am told. solo link available. i am also equally good with my mouth. i have had a few. they ended differently. different reasons all together. no two women are alike.

i like poly relationships. i love female attention. not everyone thinks it is worth all the extra work. i think it is worth it.







Well, I'm actually bi-sexual, really bi-sexual, not just bi-sexual because guys like it....so I enjoy having a female around.




nice. that kind of honesty makes the relationship so much more worth it.

< Message edited by mythicalsex -- 8/23/2016 11:36:50 PM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 183
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 8/25/2016 4:57:14 AM   
PakiLadki


Posts: 14
Joined: 5/21/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Let's face it though- a grand majority of people (doms) out there THINK poly would be a great idea, and have absolutely no skills to do it well.


Yep, I can attest to that.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 184
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 9/8/2016 4:03:32 AM   
ocl751


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/5/2016
From: Toowoomba queensland
Status: offline
THERE IS THE VANILLA WORLD LIKE SO MANY SITES LIKE THIS THEN THERE IS THE REAL WORLD THERE IS FANTASY VS RELITY
A VICTIM T THE SYSTYM POLY WORLD CREATED

(in reply to pineapplesub)
Profile   Post #: 185
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 9/28/2016 12:46:51 PM   
sheezamystry


Posts: 10
Joined: 11/28/2008
Status: offline
I ran and ran. Why? Exactly the reasons you gave. If you want subs as play partners but already have a sub, it sounds like you might be treating us as almost interchangeable or collectable. Not a good feeling for most. It can feel great for some, but not most of my friends who are submissive.

Also, many but not all of the submissive women that I know think of play as a sweet way to get to know and perhaps get involved with a Dom. Well, if they are monogamous they don't want to get mixed up with a0 polycule. Why would they?


If you are really wanting play partners I suggest you get to know each sub as an individual, find out what play means to them, find out if they are able to just be play partners. Many Dungeon bunnies like to have several play partners as well. Is this a problem?

Etc.

Getting to know a person well helps to curtail the running.


My story? I ran from the poly Dude who is now my Love and Lord,
Who I now have to accept plays a0nd dates and someday will fall in love with others.

Only through reassurance and being able to date and play with others was I convinced.





(in reply to pineapplesub)
Profile   Post #: 186
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 9/29/2016 8:41:17 AM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline
I'll tell you this, after my last experience (I'm talking literally ended a couple days ago) with my now ex Daddy, even though I'm poly it was awful. The next guy or girl I submit to, if there ever is one, will really have to talk and detail with me what their expectations and behavior will be regarding poly and taking on multiple partners because my ex Daddy did it all wrong and we both got screwed over because of it. I'm still recovering and don't see me getting over it anytime soon.

(in reply to sheezamystry)
Profile   Post #: 187
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 9/30/2016 3:26:45 AM   
sweetchoc100


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/31/2015
Status: offline
Hello blackwolf99; In West African Nigerian culture, polygamy is practised in which a man may have more than one wife as long as he can maintain them all to the same standard. Eg: If the children of one wife attend private school then the children of the other wives should also. If he builds or buys a house for one wife he would have to do so for the other wife / wives so that there is equity and fairness and less opportunity for jealousy to spoil the collaborative dynamic within the family. It is typical for the first wife to be regarded as the Alpha or senior wife and the wives that follow have to be respectful and subserviant to the Alpha first wife under the guidance of the husband. In Nigeria, polygamy is not a revolving door in which the husband has a wife or wives and then changes them or indulges in extra marital affairs. The ideal and what I know is practised is that he tells the existing wife / wives that he has aspiration to court for another wife or that he has identified a potential new wife to court. Also, it is unheard of for wives to be having Bisexual sex with each other. Some women in Nigeria are Bi or gay but they would not enter a Poly marriage to have sex with a Poly wife.

Polygamy happens for various reasons and wanting to have sex with other people is not always the primary reason - could be that the family are seeking to produce a male heir or that the existing wife / wives has children that have the sickle cell virus and so it is a prudent action to increase the gene pool of the children in the family . Sometimes the man simply wants the attention of more than one woman for sex or romance and each wife provides a different flavour and the husband can have some spice and still be respectful and not cheating his Alpha and other wives. There was a wealthy Poly family I knew of where it was common knowledge that the man had married several wives for different reasons including, Alpha wife was his college sweetheart from when he was young, one wife brought wealth into the family via businesses she had etc, 2 others were for children, the younger one he married in his later years was for romance. The wives all have conjugal access on rota + emotional care and support and social status as a conseuence / follow on from marrying a wealthy man and into a successful and stable Poly family. Sometimes, if the Alpha wife is beyond child bearing age or less sexually active for what ever reason It is not common for wives to be brought into the family and then interchanged i.e the leave the family for new wives and so in that way West African polygamy is much more stable than BDSM poly relationships as stated by some of the respondents here in which there is an Alpha poly partner and then play partners outside that get changed etc. The husband knows he has to be faithful to his wives and if he wishes to court another he must have consent from Alpha wife and the other wives etc.

In Islam as practised in Nigeria (the Nigerian Muslims are mostly Sunni i.e the follow the Saudi Arabian style of Islam which is considered quite secular and not extreme) , a man is allowed to have up to 4 wives who he must love and look after to an equal standard. I have observed that with both the Islamic and the West African Nigerian polygamy system the wives have fair portion of conjugal access with the husband. In Nigeria I know it is not typical or even done for wives to be bisexual with each other and a man does not go out seeking a wife to have sex with his existing wife / wives etc. In my observation the best i/e most harmonious poly families have unity and peace and chappy habitation amongst the wives and the children when the husband father has a mature outlook, is calm and grounded and fair , reasonable and also has the financial means to ensure that the wives can focus on the home and looking after the children and supporting him and don't have to deal with the stress of earning a living and then sharing their limited earnings into the family pot etc as jealousy and resentments can arise from such as well as other things such as one wife being perceived to be having more attention or more of the family wealth spent on her and her children etc.

In Nigeria, a fairly attractive female of child bearing or even mature age - if she is being courted by a wealthy man who has a poly household then she knows she is going to have a good life and will never have to work again etc and that her children have good prospects of doing well in society etc. Polygamy does not suit everyone. I think females need certain temperament and resilience within them eg to be pragmatic and calm, able to nurture because the person would sometimes have to look after not just their own but their sister wive's child / children even if just occasionally, to be patient and be willing to share and able to cope with some separation from spouse at times etc. When I was younger I would not have minded being a wife in an affluent Poly family as I know it would have guaranteed me an affluent home, high social status and the best education for my children + expensive holidays etc. Now, as a single mature person now that is seeking a relationship I would not settle for a poly relationship as for me now, children is not an issue and in London UK here the poly men that have approached me give the impression that they want to have a taste of me which in my own view is not what Poly is about as in my culture Poly is not primarily there to facilitate for a person to have permission to have sex with other people and I find that annoying to the point of being disgusted and also disrespectful and I am very happy to deprive them of having such pleasure i.e for me to be used. Poly is not meant to be for harem acquisition - A harem is where sex workers / concubines / mistresses are kept. I prefer the Nigerian / West African / Islamic Poly lifestyle which is much more stable and provides better care and support to all involved

Anthropologically, from thousands of years ago, my ancestors were practising Polygamy as a means of ensuring that no women remained unwed, that no woman remained without the protection of a man which was an important thing to have and also that no woman remained without children unless though barrenness etc as the society needed enough and plentiful children to grow and become the next generation of farmers and warriors to protect the land etc. Also to replenish those that died from childhood diseases and accidents when there were less medical resources to save lives etc. I'm not knocking what people enjoy in the BDSM scene now - just showing you a different perspective. I hope this helps to give some awareness and a different prospective to the poly issue.

Kind regards at you blackwolf99 and all here :).


< Message edited by sweetchoc100 -- 9/30/2016 3:48:45 AM >

(in reply to blackwolf99)
Profile   Post #: 188
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 9/30/2016 5:23:03 AM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline
As an Anthropologist, that was a fascinating insiders view of traditional polygamy. Thank you for that.

(in reply to sweetchoc100)
Profile   Post #: 189
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 9/30/2016 6:06:44 AM   
sweetchoc100


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/31/2015
Status: offline
You are welcome @Greatlilbabygirl. I'm glad I could help etc :)

i should add that in traditional polygamy in Nigeria it's not just about being submissive. It's about being a compatible match with the other partners in the family i.e the Alpha male. other wife/wives and the children. We often see that the man has chosen a babe i.e additional wife that has a lot more to contribute than being submissive or just being young and pretty or sexy etc. Not saying there is anything wrong with being submissive or not - just that sometimes the man realises that as the family progresses they require something additional as well as for him to have his own primary needs met with the addition to the family. It's more than being a pretty face that says yes to everything and is always agreeable etc (not saying that's what being submissive is about). Wisdom and other skills are required also to live in the family successfully and help increase it's success and wellbeing etc :)

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 190
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 9/30/2016 1:21:29 PM   
mythicalsex


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/30/2016
Status: offline


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetchoc100

Hello blackwolf99; In West African Nigerian culture, polygamy is practised in which a man may have more than one wife as long as he can maintain them all to the same standard. Eg: If the children of one wife attend private school then the children of the other wives should also. If he builds or buys a house for one wife he would have to do so for the other wife / wives so that there is equity and fairness and less opportunity for jealousy to spoil the collaborative dynamic within the family. It is typical for the first wife to be regarded as the Alpha or senior wife and the wives that follow have to be respectful and subserviant to the Alpha first wife under the guidance of the husband. In Nigeria, polygamy is not a revolving door in which the husband has a wife or wives and then changes them or indulges in extra marital affairs. The ideal and what I know is practised is that he tells the existing wife / wives that he has aspiration to court for another wife or that he has identified a potential new wife to court. Also, it is unheard of for wives to be having Bisexual sex with each other. Some women in Nigeria are Bi or gay but they would not enter a Poly marriage to have sex with a Poly wife.

Polygamy happens for various reasons and wanting to have sex with other people is not always the primary reason - could be that the family are seeking to produce a male heir or that the existing wife / wives has children that have the sickle cell virus and so it is a prudent action to increase the gene pool of the children in the family . Sometimes the man simply wants the attention of more than one woman for sex or romance and each wife provides a different flavour and the husband can have some spice and still be respectful and not cheating his Alpha and other wives. There was a wealthy Poly family I knew of where it was common knowledge that the man had married several wives for different reasons including, Alpha wife was his college sweetheart from when he was young, one wife brought wealth into the family via businesses she had etc, 2 others were for children, the younger one he married in his later years was for romance. The wives all have conjugal access on rota + emotional care and support and social status as a conseuence / follow on from marrying a wealthy man and into a successful and stable Poly family. Sometimes, if the Alpha wife is beyond child bearing age or less sexually active for what ever reason It is not common for wives to be brought into the family and then interchanged i.e the leave the family for new wives and so in that way West African polygamy is much more stable than BDSM poly relationships as stated by some of the respondents here in which there is an Alpha poly partner and then play partners outside that get changed etc. The husband knows he has to be faithful to his wives and if he wishes to court another he must have consent from Alpha wife and the other wives etc.

In Islam as practised in Nigeria (the Nigerian Muslims are mostly Sunni i.e the follow the Saudi Arabian style of Islam which is considered quite secular and not extreme) , a man is allowed to have up to 4 wives who he must love and look after to an equal standard. I have observed that with both the Islamic and the West African Nigerian polygamy system the wives have fair portion of conjugal access with the husband. In Nigeria I know it is not typical or even done for wives to be bisexual with each other and a man does not go out seeking a wife to have sex with his existing wife / wives etc. In my observation the best i/e most harmonious poly families have unity and peace and chappy habitation amongst the wives and the children when the husband father has a mature outlook, is calm and grounded and fair , reasonable and also has the financial means to ensure that the wives can focus on the home and looking after the children and supporting him and don't have to deal with the stress of earning a living and then sharing their limited earnings into the family pot etc as jealousy and resentments can arise from such as well as other things such as one wife being perceived to be having more attention or more of the family wealth spent on her and her children etc.

In Nigeria, a fairly attractive female of child bearing or even mature age - if she is being courted by a wealthy man who has a poly household then she knows she is going to have a good life and will never have to work again etc and that her children have good prospects of doing well in society etc. Polygamy does not suit everyone. I think females need certain temperament and resilience within them eg to be pragmatic and calm, able to nurture because the person would sometimes have to look after not just their own but their sister wive's child / children even if just occasionally, to be patient and be willing to share and able to cope with some separation from spouse at times etc. When I was younger I would not have minded being a wife in an affluent Poly family as I know it would have guaranteed me an affluent home, high social status and the best education for my children + expensive holidays etc. Now, as a single mature person now that is seeking a relationship I would not settle for a poly relationship as for me now, children is not an issue and in London UK here the poly men that have approached me give the impression that they want to have a taste of me which in my own view is not what Poly is about as in my culture Poly is not primarily there to facilitate for a person to have permission to have sex with other people and I find that annoying to the point of being disgusted and also disrespectful and I am very happy to deprive them of having such pleasure i.e for me to be used. Poly is not meant to be for harem acquisition - A harem is where sex workers / concubines / mistresses are kept. I prefer the Nigerian / West African / Islamic Poly lifestyle which is much more stable and provides better care and support to all involved

Anthropologically, from thousands of years ago, my ancestors were practising Polygamy as a means of ensuring that no women remained unwed, that no woman remained without the protection of a man which was an important thing to have and also that no woman remained without children unless though barrenness etc as the society needed enough and plentiful children to grow and become the next generation of farmers and warriors to protect the land etc. Also to replenish those that died from childhood diseases and accidents when there were less medical resources to save lives etc. I'm not knocking what people enjoy in the BDSM scene now - just showing you a different perspective. I hope this helps to give some awareness and a different prospective to the poly issue.

Kind regards at you blackwolf99 and all here :).



fascinating read. i recently read a few pages of islam that will never fit with my life.

there is no way anyone, organization or creature claiming to be a deity is going to get me to agree with removing clits. i love them. i love licking them and kissing them and pleasing on and on for hours.

i will also never agree with killing christians, jews and infidels for disagreeing with islam. it's mentioned over 70 times in the book. hardly a peaceful argument for growing a culture.


no one in islam is going to convince me that throwing homosexuals off of rooftops is a good idea just because they are gay. if you believe that wives having sex with each other, is unheard of, i got a bridge to sell you. some do. it is a statistical fact. they hide because they will be raped and stoned in an honor killing if they brag about it. they get called whores, when all of us over here know that is not what whores do.

i don't need other cultures to influence my life. i don't need liars changing the definition of words and i don't need bullies telling what i should be doing with my women. not gonna happen. i am doing just fine with the home grown cultures.

i love women. i want them to be free. i want them to wear what they want, read what they want, understand what they want, choose who they want. if a few start choose me, surrender to me or claim to be my slaves, i will fight for them to be free even more.



< Message edited by mythicalsex -- 9/30/2016 1:24:26 PM >

(in reply to sweetchoc100)
Profile   Post #: 191
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 9/30/2016 3:28:06 PM   
sweetchoc100


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/31/2015
Status: offline
Hello mythicalsex you are communicating in direct response to my contribution to this matter in a tone towards me that is aggressive and somewhat rude and actually uncalled for and only serve to spread negativity and division.

Mythicalsex; You should have all you'r facts and not make assumptions so you don't get riled up unnecessarily and so you don't make attacks which are uncalled for and serve mainly to spread negativity. I am of Nigerian ethnicity born in London UK. I have UK citizenship and I actually feel English while I have Nigerian blood in me and a good understanding of Nigerian Igbo culture. I wonder why you are mentioning female circumcision and referencing it to my post and even to this topic which is about poly lifestyle and relationships. Some Nigerians / Africans do indeed still practice female circumcision which is something the government and many of the people there are trying to eradicate and with education they are making progress. Female circumcision and Nigerian polygamy are two completely different issues. Also, FYI, Muslims in Nigeria do not typically circumcise their daughters because most Nigerian Muslims are Sunni Muslims and therefore quite moderate. The female circumcision that occurs in Nigeria is usually related to native practices. There are Muslims in other African countries such as Somalia that still practice female circumcision and I suggest you do you'r own research to ascertain if the circumcision that occurs there is related to the religious or the cultural practices or both. I don't have the facts on such and I would not dare to make assumptions either. The other things you were ranting about such as people throwing gays off rooftops etc? What's that got to do with polygamy in Nigeria please? FYI, homosexuality is practiced in Nigeria. There are homosexual and transgender brothels I'm the northern part of the country. What is outlawed is gay marriage and spreading gay propaganda. It's as if with the little that you know, you saw my post referencing poly activities from a Nigerian perspective and you see red. I thought it would be helpful to bring another perspective /experience into the discussion and to talk about something that others don't know about. Your aggressive tone tells me you don't like hearing about other cultures other than what you know while I myself here in London have met with and interfaced with other progressive westerners who are quite pleased to interface with and discuss intellectually with someone that can bring an ethnic perspective /something different to the bdsm discussion. You claim that Nigerian wives in polygamous marriages are bisexual and have sex with each other. You'r assertion is based on what fact please? If they are or are not bisexual and having sex with each other or not what has that got to do with you. I shared the facts I know about and you have brought in something unrelated and you're all riled up to boot. To be frank you'r manner is ignorant and it does not affect me however if persons such as yourself are offended by hearing about issues relating to bdsm from a non European perspective then people like me that may actually have more to contribute can easily stay away as I did not come here because I'm idle rather I came to contribute in a positive way but if it causes you such upset I can stay away and leave the place for you and your ignorant and aggressive and discriminatory manner. All the best to everyone here as ever ☺.

(in reply to mythicalsex)
Profile   Post #: 192
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 10/1/2016 12:19:00 PM   
mythicalsex


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/30/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetchoc100

Hello mythicalsex you are communicating in direct response to my contribution to this matter in a tone towards me that is aggressive and somewhat rude and actually uncalled for and only serve to spread negativity and division.

Mythicalsex; You should have all you'r facts and not make assumptions so you don't get riled up unnecessarily and so you don't make attacks which are uncalled for and serve mainly to spread negativity. I am of Nigerian ethnicity born in London UK. I have UK citizenship and I actually feel English while I have Nigerian blood in me and a good understanding of Nigerian Igbo culture. I wonder why you are mentioning female circumcision and referencing it to my post and even to this topic which is about poly lifestyle and relationships. Some Nigerians / Africans do indeed still practice female circumcision which is something the government and many of the people there are trying to eradicate and with education they are making progress. Female circumcision and Nigerian polygamy are two completely different issues. Also, FYI, Muslims in Nigeria do not typically circumcise their daughters because most Nigerian Muslims are Sunni Muslims and therefore quite moderate. The female circumcision that occurs in Nigeria is usually related to native practices. There are Muslims in other African countries such as Somalia that still practice female circumcision and I suggest you do you'r own research to ascertain if the circumcision that occurs there is related to the religious or the cultural practices or both. I don't have the facts on such and I would not dare to make assumptions either. The other things you were ranting about such as people throwing gays off rooftops etc? What's that got to do with polygamy in Nigeria please? FYI, homosexuality is practiced in Nigeria. There are homosexual and transgender brothels I'm the northern part of the country. What is outlawed is gay marriage and spreading gay propaganda. It's as if with the little that you know, you saw my post referencing poly activities from a Nigerian perspective and you see red. I thought it would be helpful to bring another perspective /experience into the discussion and to talk about something that others don't know about. Your aggressive tone tells me you don't like hearing about other cultures other than what you know while I myself here in London have met with and interfaced with other progressive westerners who are quite pleased to interface with and discuss intellectually with someone that can bring an ethnic perspective /something different to the bdsm discussion. You claim that Nigerian wives in polygamous marriages are bisexual and have sex with each other. You'r assertion is based on what fact please? If they are or are not bisexual and having sex with each other or not what has that got to do with you. I shared the facts I know about and you have brought in something unrelated and you're all riled up to boot. To be frank you'r manner is ignorant and it does not affect me however if persons such as yourself are offended by hearing about issues relating to bdsm from a non European perspective then people like me that may actually have more to contribute can easily stay away as I did not come here because I'm idle rather I came to contribute in a positive way but if it causes you such upset I can stay away and leave the place for you and your ignorant and aggressive and discriminatory manner. All the best to everyone here as ever ☺.



i have the facts. i did the research. if you want to argue that is fine. i will still go into reality when i am done with this post.

you can wonder why i brought up female circumcision all you want. i made it clear why brought it up. i am certainly not confused by various topics. go read it again. it is plain to read.

moderate? i understand the Sunni have been rejecting orthodox islam. clearly, so am i. there are videos of homosexuals being thrown off of building for being gay. i know that is not Nigeria. i never said it was Nigeria. i state the fact that the individuals who are throwing homosexuals off of buildings are muslim and this behavior against homosexuals is mandated by islam. i can post many videos of this. that is not what i want to be doing right now. people can still find them

if my tone is offending you, find a shoulder to cry on. i speak like this on a variety of issues. if we were discussing soccer or football or video games, this is my tone. i like my tone.

i am surrounded by some pretty interesting cultures. islam offers me nothing i want. i making it clear to anyone who might agree with me over the whole of islam. it is what we do in forums. we get to know people by what we have in common.

if that hurts your feelings, you could easily convince me to become a sadist. i am easy like that.

i don’t have an accretion. i don't claim anything about other cultures. i am aware of human behavior. statistically some, and maybe not many, do. if you want to live in denial that’s fine. you want to invite people to live there, that is fine to. you want to call me names, that is fine too. use all the names you can find.

if you want to read my stuff out of context that is fine too. the others here are contributing to get what they want. all of what they want.

you can cry discrimination all you want. discrimination is what every does when finding a partner. you discriminate the ones you like from the ones you don’t. it is perfectly natural. i don’t like how islam discriminates.

you didn’t deny that is says to kill christians, jews and infidels over 70 times.


< Message edited by mythicalsex -- 10/1/2016 12:20:00 PM >

(in reply to sweetchoc100)
Profile   Post #: 193
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 10/1/2016 4:37:31 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
And a discussion of traditional poly in a poor culture where women had no options but to accept being wife number three or four as they could not otherwise support themselves has absolutely nothing to do with polyamory as we view it.

The traditional poly women were grateful not to be subjected to marital rape because he was busy with the young and new wife. Tough for her though. The best she had to hope for was that as he was much older, he should be suffering from ED.

Polyamory as we discuss it has nothing to do with being sold to some old dude by your father. Women today have options and unless their needs are met, they aren't going to subject themselves to a relationship that does not begin to fit their requirements.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to mythicalsex)
Profile   Post #: 194
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 10/1/2016 6:00:09 PM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline
The ethnocentrism is getting thick in here.
Cultural relativity anyone.....anyone? No, am I the only one?...well ok then.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 195
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 10/1/2016 10:18:50 PM   
mythicalsex


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/30/2016
Status: offline
culture is one thing. i am rejecting actual fundamental islamic religious beliefs that conflict with pretty much everything that i am interested in, concerning a lot in my culture.

i won't apologize for defending the interests of anyone agreeing with me. i am proud to defend you.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 196
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 10/1/2016 10:39:23 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

One of the main reasons "why subs run when they hear the word 'poly'." is because too many dishonest pieces of human shit use it as an excuse after they get caught dipping their wick where it didn't belong.

The simplest "definition" of "Polyamory" is "Ethical non-monogamy".



Michael


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to mythicalsex)
Profile   Post #: 197
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 10/3/2016 5:34:34 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32561
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
One of the main reasons "why subs run when they hear the word 'poly'." is because too many dishonest pieces of human shit use it as an excuse after they get caught dipping their wick where it didn't belong.

The simplest "definition" of "Polyamory" is "Ethical non-monogamy".



Michael


I'm sure that's part of it. I've been thinking about some other things that surround it and I think there is more.

It's not so much that female subs run when they hear the word poly, as long as they are the primary partner or the one in the 'established' couple who is looking for the third. Way greater margin, as long as they are "first," maybe have the legal standing of being the spouse, etc. There is a certain bit of security in that. There isn't a whole lot in being the 'second' submissive to come along or that 'third' that makes up the triad. Quite often, it's the later sub that is taking all of the risks. More often than not, if a triad breaks up, the established couple will stay together (there are exceptions, of course) and the sub who was the 'most recent' addition will be the first one to go.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 198
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 10/4/2016 2:19:04 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14373
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
One of the main reasons "why subs run when they hear the word 'poly'." is because too many dishonest pieces of human shit use it as an excuse after they get caught dipping their wick where it didn't belong.

The simplest "definition" of "Polyamory" is "Ethical non-monogamy".



Michael


I'm sure that's part of it. I've been thinking about some other things that surround it and I think there is more.

It's not so much that female subs run when they hear the word poly, as long as they are the primary partner or the one in the 'established' couple who is looking for the third. Way greater margin, as long as they are "first," maybe have the legal standing of being the spouse, etc. There is a certain bit of security in that. There isn't a whole lot in being the 'second' submissive to come along or that 'third' that makes up the triad. Quite often, it's the later sub that is taking all of the risks. More often than not, if a triad breaks up, the established couple will stay together (there are exceptions, of course) and the sub who was the 'most recent' addition will be the first one to go.




I think part of it also is that I don't think that there is a large percentage of primary partners that actively want poly. They're in it because the male wants it and in the case of many, many searchers that I have seen....they don't want it at all and have been pressured into it.

As a third, it's crappy thing to get tossed into the arena between a Dom that uses guilt and strong arm tactics with his primary and a primary that would prefer if you died. Just one of those can cure someone from wanting to be in a poly relationship.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 199
RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly - 10/14/2016 2:29:56 PM   
Svale


Posts: 68
Joined: 4/7/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blackwolf99

I have had the worse luck in my search for play partners. The second they hear the word poly or that I have a sub, they run at speeds that would make the Roadrunner envious. And thats without them even finding out what or how that relates to our relation (mine and the prospective subs)

I hear things like..

I am not bi (never said you had to be)

If I am not primary I am not interested. (I kind of like to think of my play partners as equals, but they dont wait to find that out)

I dont want to be part of a stable (never said I was starting one)

I dont want to deal with jelousy issues (understandable, but who said there would be any?)

and dozens more......


I have read ethical slut. I consider myself to be one. You know walk the walk, talk the talk, but I never seem to get past the word poly.
Sure I could not tell them, play for awhile and let the cat out of the bag later, but that seems more than a bit dishonest and I work very hard to not go there (dishonesty that is).

So help me out folks looking advice but also to understand why certain subs feel this way. I am not new to the bdsm lifestyle, and have had a few good poly relations ( and I would like to think my partners would agree with me). Just seem the majority of subs run at the word poly

Thoughts?



Coming late to the party, and haven't read it all through, so maybe this is said already. My first thought is whether you are ok with your subs having other Doms? Because otherwise I understand them.

(in reply to blackwolf99)
Profile   Post #: 200
Page:   <<   < prev  8 9 [10] 11 12   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Polyamorous Lifestyles >> RE: Why subs run when they hear the word poly Page: <<   < prev  8 9 [10] 11 12   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2022
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.336