quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal

The problem is that people don't like being treated like a second class toy. And rather than treat them as a family member-they make a hierarchy clear, to try to alleviate the WIFE's insecurities.

We can veto what you want if we feel it's bad for us-you can leave if that's not ok.

So they do. Add the fact that a lot of the males are looking to objectify a female as a sex toy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Svale

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal

The problem is that people don't like being treated like a second class toy. And rather than treat them as a family member-they make a hierarchy clear, to try to alleviate the WIFE's insecurities.

We can veto what you want if we feel it's bad for us-you can leave if that's not ok.

So they do. Add the fact that a lot of the males are looking to objectify a female as a sex toy.

It is true that this is the norm for some, but by no means for all. For many people poly means 'loving more than one'.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal

quote:

ORIGINAL: Svale

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal

The problem is that people don't like being treated like a second class toy. And rather than treat them as a family member-they make a hierarchy clear, to try to alleviate the WIFE's insecurities.

We can veto what you want if we feel it's bad for us-you can leave if that's not ok.

So they do. Add the fact that a lot of the males are looking to objectify a female as a sex toy.

It is true that this is the norm for some, but by no means for all. For many people poly means 'loving more than one'.

The question was "why do so many run?" Because that kind of cluster fuck is a nightmare.

quote:

ORIGINAL: blackwolf99

I have had the worse luck in my search for play partners. The second they hear the word poly or that I have a sub, they run at speeds that would make the Roadrunner envious. And thats without them even finding out what or how that relates to our relation (mine and the prospective subs)

I hear things like..

I am not bi (never said you had to be)

If I am not primary I am not interested. (I kind of like to think of my play partners as equals, but they dont wait to find that out)

I dont want to be part of a stable (never said I was starting one)

I dont want to deal with jelousy issues (understandable, but who said there would be any?)

and dozens more......


I have read ethical slut. I consider myself to be one. You know walk the walk, talk the talk, but I never seem to get past the word poly.
Sure I could not tell them, play for awhile and let the cat out of the bag later, but that seems more than a bit dishonest and I work very hard to not go there (dishonesty that is).

So help me out folks looking advice but also to understand why certain subs feel this way. I am not new to the bdsm lifestyle, and have had a few good poly relations ( and I would like to think my partners would agree with me). Just seem the majority of subs run at the word poly

Thoughts?