I have a penny rolling around up here that is anxious to get out....
I do think that in some cases people who are insecure and might benefit from poly (being loved by more than one), believe they are unworthy of love by even one individual. To increase the number from one makes the ability to be loved exponentially more impossible.
I am not now, nor will I ever be, dominant. I see everything in shades of gray. I once worked for a very, very black and white, yes or no, boss. It was confusing, frustrating and suddenly freeing.
I don't think people hear 'you will be welcomed and loved by family'. I don't think people hear 'you'll belong to us, and we, to you'.
I do think people do hear 'orgy', 'more than one partner at a time'. I think the mindest is "if I'm not good enough to be 'first' with you, what's wrong wth me?" (or wrong with you???).
Deep end kink is not the common flavor for most people. Why should Poly be any different? You're going to have a very small pool to choose from. You might want to think about some sort of "PolyMeNow.com" service.
Ok, ramble time....
I think some men (every man I have ever met) believes women are natually bi and that all women need, if they are not currently bi, is the right situation or submission, to lead them or drag them into being bi (I identify as not-anti-bi, meaning I am not actively bi, I do not discount the possibility of being open to opportunies, but I have yet to find a woman that makes me swollen or drymouthed). I think the reason some men (every man I have ever met) believes all women are naturally bi and either repressed or in denial about it is...they want to see two women together, and/or, they want two (or more) women to play with at the same time and believe that if women were only open-minded enough and uninhibited enough in their sexual expression of self, they would realize this for themselves. After all, it is only natural, right.
It has always been curious to me, that when I say I find two men together unbelievably erotic (I mean think of all the testosterone, the sweat, the grunts, the tenderness, the forcefullness, the openness of one for the other--I could get explicit here, but will save any males reading this from too much retinal trauma. My god, male-male almost brings me to my knees). And yet, amazingly enough, some men (every man I have eer met) has indicated in one way or another that "THAT'S just not right! That's unnatural!. That's disgustinnnnnng!" LOL. I never press the issue, but you see how each of us has our own feeling for what is 'natural' and easy to accept?
Poly is an opportunity, just as the two examples above are. Poly, like kink, slogs through brow deep mire, to be acknowledged as 'not sick', not predatory, not immoral. What woman wouldn't be flattered by two men being in love with her, especially if individually each was attractive to her senses and needs. Or man flatter by two or more women. Or more than a triad. I've never had a poly relationship (other than having more than one dog at a time). I don't profess to understand how they work other than to accept a more open concept of family. I don't understand, necessarily, how they are different from the communes of the 60's and early 70's, just smaller in scale.
Sometimes the spark in the individual being offered the poly hasn't been lit yet. Maybe it is all in presentation. Plus, you are facing the potential dragons of: societal norms, immorality, insecurity, overwhelming closed mindedness, human kind's inability to deviate. LOL, yep, I actually said that. Did you think we were raised to be tolerant? Remember our struggle to be ourselves (well, maybe not some of you alpha dominants), remember TABOO? No, not the perfume.
I don't think you can create a slave if the being isn't already hardwired to be a slave under all the layers of garbage he or she has picked up from the cradle. I don't think you can create a dominant. They are born. And I don't think you can create a yearning or desire for poly unless the predeliction is inherent, even if recessive in any given individual.
How do you find out if an individual has the capacity? That's probably a separate thread.
If you read this far, thank you.