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cumnpain -> New Master (2/12/2004 1:46:25 AM)

I am just getting into what a friend calls 'the scene,' and was wondering how someone interested in being a master would go about learning? I have no desire to embarass myself or my slave (whenever I should happen to accept one).

Any suggestions?



MistressDREAD -> RE: New Master (2/12/2004 4:17:13 AM)

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sirrob -> RE: New Master (2/12/2004 8:19:29 AM)

I would start by doing some reading.

The Loving Dominant by John Warren
Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns by Molly Devan and Philip Miller
SM101 by Jay Wiseman

Usually all are available on Amazon
There are a lot of books on the market, you certainly have your choice but I think these 3 are very good
Do a search for your area munches. It's a good way to meet people.

Good Luck,
Ms. Crysta



sub4hire -> RE: New Master (2/24/2004 11:01:38 AM)

I have to agree with Ms Crysta on this one. Learn from books but also learn from people. You can find a mentor if you ask for one.
But remember when dealing with individuals each person does things a bit different from the one down the road.
So be true to yourself. Choose what is right for you. But keep your eyes and ears open to new experiences at the same time.
If you are referring to learning about playing? Since you are speaking of the "scene" You should attend some classes in your area. Some demo's. People are usually more than willing to teach someone new tricks if you just ask. If you don't know of any in your area. Find a munch and ask around.
Hope this helps.
Gloria



MizSuz -> RE: New Master (2/25/2004 5:28:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cumnpain

I am just getting into what a friend calls 'the scene,' and was wondering how someone interested in being a master would go about learning? I have no desire to embarass myself or my slave (whenever I should happen to accept one).

Any suggestions?



I agree with the advice to read a lot. I also recommend that you read with an eye to weighing your own truths. All together too many people read a bit of popular information and then assume it is written in stone, growing to use this "pop" information to laud it over people as if somehow their 'accepted' kink is better than others. Watch out for the catch phrases and acronyms - they seem to be the most susceptible to people forgetting that they were meant to be guide lines and turning them into written in stone idiocy.

One very decent place to find rather basic information on techniques (especially play techniques) is:

http://www.sexuality.org

Scroll down and click on the BDSM link.

The advice to get out into "meatlife" (as my roommate calls it) is also quite good. We are EVERYWHERE and it's likely there is a group of folks in your area. Many groups and clubs host munches (that's what we call an informal gathering in a public place...usually a restaurant) and workshops and demos. If you ever see the term "slosh" know that it's a munch that meets in a bar. These are good ways to meet other like-minded people, network and just get to know folks (and be exposed to a plethora of ideas related to the scene) without the rigors of protocols. Since they are in public places they afford a certain amount of 'safety' when it comes to meeting people off the internet. They really are an ideal way to meet locals.

You can find info on groups in your area here:

http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html

Hope this helps. Happy hunting.



JerryInTampa -> RE: New Master (2/25/2004 7:00:40 AM)

For most people I know (myself included), Dom/Sub was something instinctual. "Learning how to be a master" would be analogous to "learning how to be a boyfriend"... that is to say that there is a great deal that you can learn to improve aspects of relationships (what I'm hoping you are looking for) such as communication, but not to teach you to be one at all.

OTOH, BDSM involves a lot of play, and play requires some skills for safety. Certainly any local group has many people happy to teach. Beyond that, I've never been one worried about embarrasment because I "did it wrong". My interests are my interests wheather everyone shares them or no one. I like books for new ideas, and I seek reasources for better understanding how to perform acts or ofr better understanding of others.



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