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slavegirljoy -> RE: Ethical Sadism (10/4/2007 10:52:43 PM)
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Fast Reply:
If, "ethical sadist" is a way of referring to someone who enjoys sadistic pleasures as opposed to someone who is simply an abusive person or a criminal sadist, then i agree and i think that this statement, issued by N.O.W., is a pretty good comparison of SM & abuse.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SM AND ABUSE
- a statement from Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM) SM: An SM scene is a controlled situation.
ABUSE: Abuse is an out-of-control situation.
SM: Negotiation occurs before an SM scene to determine what will and will not happen in that scene.
ABUSE: One person determines what will happen.
SM: Knowledgeable consent is given to the scene by all parties.
ABUSE: No consent is asked for or given.
SM: The "bottom" has a safeword that allows them to stop the scene at any time they need to for physical or emotional reasons.
ABUSE: The person being abused cannot stop what is happening. SM: Everyone involved in the SM scene is concerned about needs, desires, and limits of others.
ABUSE: No concern is given to the needs, desires, and limits of the abused person.
SM: The people in the SM scene are careful to be sure that they are not impaired by alcohol or drug use during the scene.
ABUSE: Alcohol or drugs are often used before an episode of abuse. SM: After an SM scene, the people involved feel good.
ABUSE: After an episode of abuse, the people involved feel bad.
i think this is a good, general statement of comparison but, i don't agree 100% with everything in it. For one thing, and this is just for me, i don't use and have never used a safeword. It is unthinkable to me. If i didn't trust my Master enough to be capable of determining on His own when i had had enough, requiring me to tell Him that, i wouldn't feel comfortable enough to want to be abused by Him, in the first place. So, the use of a safeword has never applied to me.
Also, i would add to the list that abusers tend to "apologize", afterward, and "swear" that they'll never do it again, along with "blaming the victim" for "making" him (or her) "do it" so, it's not really their fault, blah, blah, blah.......and so on and so on. Sadists never apologize, after giving me pain. They never need to, since i'm happily saying, "Thank You" and glowing and smiling and begging for more.
Besides the differences between 'ethical sadists' and abusers, there is also a big difference between being sadistic and being qualified to be clinically diagnosed with "Sexual Sadism". The DSM-IV spells it out very clearly. It states that, for the diagnosis of Sexual Sadism to be made, the behavior (or fantasies related to it) must "cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning."
This is another good comparison between 'ethical sadists' and 'psychotic sadists'.
Park Elliot Dietz (1990)
[P.E. Dietz is a forensic psychologist who consistently tries to point out the absurdity of the link between s/m devotees and psychotic criminals.]
According to Dietz, the five main differences between psychotic sadistic serial murderers and SM devotees:
1. Psychotics search for unwilling partners. S/M devotees use a "safeword" that the submissive can say at any time to end the scene, thus the submissive retains real control throughout the encounter.
2. Psychotics force their acts on the victim rather than aiming at pleasing the submissive (as in s/m). The psychotic sadistic acts are quite different from s/m practices, and usually include: forced anal penetration, forced fellatio, or violent vagina-penetration with various foreign objects -rather than the penis.
3. The sadistic offenders' demeanor is diametrically opposed to s/m devotees: usually the psychotic is detached and unemotional throughout the torture, while the s/m dominant appears to achieve a "high" or pleasure equivalent during the scene.
4. Psychotic criminals torture their victims, inflicting serious and permanent injury, trying to arouse terror in their victims. S/M devotees skillfully enhance the sexual arousal of their partner, following the rules and guidelines that were established before the scene, thus creating only the illusion that the submissive is not in control.
5. Psychotics usually have a past history of sexual crimes such as rape or incest. S/M devotees are average people who typically don't have criminal pasts.
As for a 'beast', i've never seen one in either my Master or any other sadist i have been with. In fact, they tend to be at their happiest and calmest when they are 'abusing' my body and they are always very relaxed and content, afterward. So, i don't know about any beast. He just enjoys seeing my reactions to the pain He is inflicting on me.
i can be a bit of a 'beast' sometimes, when i haven't been abused in awhile. i can get a little bit cranky and moody when i go too long without the sting of my Master's whip. i crave the pain and miss it terribly, when i don't get enough on a regular basis. It's my addiction. i am addicted to the pain and to the feeling of powerlessness, that is only satisfied when i am at the mercy of the Power my Sadistic Master is exerting over me. The more power He exerts over me, the less powerful i feel and the more content, happy, and turned-on i feel.
slave joy
Owned property of Master David
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