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In Between Visits - 7/23/2005 9:03:51 PM

pineapplesub

Posts: 39
Joined: 11/23/2004
Status: offline

I am in a long distance relationship at the moment where i go out to visit Master weekly. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that there have been quite a few submissives/slaves that have started off in long distance relationships, or are in them currently. After having been put in my "submissive mode", i crave it even after i come home again. Any tips on holding off the cravings in between visits? Thanks. :)

~val~

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RE: In Between Visits - 7/23/2005 9:16:02 PM

oceanprincess

Posts: 42
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

If you are home, then go into submissive mode if you want to. I do it all the time, pratically everyday. The hardest part for me right now is having been away from my Master for over 2 and a half weeks now, and I have 4 more weeks to go... He is currently in India on business. We do talk twice a day, and at least once a day on the phone. But I am so sad...

I go into sub mode a lot more lately then when he was here, and I think that's because I miss him so much, that it makes me feel closer to him. You could say that I live my daily life in sub mode, which I feel that I do because I always do what others ask me to, within means, of course. I spend time with my parents more since my Master has been gone, and when they ask me or tell me to do something, I just get up and do it for them. I am 30 years old, no children of my own, and I am also currently out of work. So anything that I can do to please anyone else makes me oh so happy. I am most happy when I am doing for others, and I bet that you are too. That's where sub mode comes in, enjoy it.

Now, if you are talking more about sub space, then that's something we all crave when we can't have it. I fell into it last week. I was just laying on the bed, relaxing, and went into sub space. That's scary, because I couldn't come out of it, and I was laying there for almost 2 hours, alone. When I was able to come out of it, I was alone, and scared, because there was no one there to catch me when I fell. It's more fun to be in sub space when there's someone there to watch out for you.

sad and missing her Master so much that it's breaking my heart,
oceanprincess

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RE: In Between Visits - 7/23/2005 9:29:21 PM

pineapplesub

Posts: 39
Joined: 11/23/2004
Status: offline

I don't do well just being in submissive mode around other people. I'm generally a very assertive person outside of my relationship. But it's not even so much missing being submissive, but being unable to truly submit to someone and know that they are not just asking for favors, but truly dominating me... W/we talk, but sometimes that's just not enough. Anyways... *smiles* Enough whining for now.

~val~

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RE: In Between Visits - 7/24/2005 10:37:28 AM

MarkSade50

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/19/2005
Status: offline

As a Dom who travels widely I keep in touch with My sub via email - regular phone contact (3-5 times a week) and also leave her notes that she is to open daily - on My scheduled times - for chores, self abuse, and preparation for My return.

for extended times I have loaned her to a trusted friend for a tune up but only rarely.

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RE: In Between Visits - 7/24/2005 11:38:00 AM

LaMspeach

Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pineapplesub

I am in a long distance relationship at the moment where i go out to visit Master weekly. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that there have been quite a few submissives/slaves that have started off in long distance relationships, or are in them currently. After having been put in my "submissive mode", i crave it even after i come home again. Any tips on holding off the cravings in between visits? Thanks. :)

~val~

First, I have to say i don't understand sub mode. My submission isn't a mode i go into when it suits me, it is always part of who i am. Im a single working mom, so i am very assertive and a take control person when i need to be, it is just as much a part of me as being submissive. In fact i think it goes hand and hand, some of the best slave i have know are very strong take charge people. what better way to show your submission is to be able to see what needs to be done and do it. For example... i walked into my nephews birthday party seen my sister needed help looked around and did what needed to be done.

ok i am rambling, back on topic. Just be your self, find other ways to release some of those submissive energies. Do some volunteer work.Talk to your Dom/Master about your feelings, perhaps think of something that you can do at night before you go to bed or sometime during the day when you have alone time that make you feel closer to your Dom/Master. Find a trusted submissive friend you can talk openly to. Try to schedule visits,email, chat time, phone time together so you have something to look forward to.

I hope this helps a little.

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"

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RE: In Between Visits - 7/24/2005 11:49:40 AM

wednesday

Posts: 93
Joined: 6/21/2005
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This goes along with the endorphin crash we discussed... somewhere. I don't remember what thread.

I always have a couple of days where I want to lie in bed and do nothing, speak to no one, just lie there and cry. He'd be horrified if I did anything like that though. And that is my motivation to get moving. Because I know that that behavior is self-destructive, and I know that as far as he is concerned only HE gets to be "destructive"

I drag my ass out of bed. (this is not to imply he ever does anything damaging to my psyche or body that I don't want...)

We talk every day. And it is during those times, when we are apart, that we are able to clearly (and without distraction) discuss where we want things to go, and how, and when. I also learned to treasure the time we spend apart because that is when we have no other option BUT to talk, so we really get to delve deep into the relationship and personal aspect.

I don't COMPLETELY understand (because my submission isn't really task-oriented) but I would suggest that you just remind yourself that taking care of yourself IS doing something for him. You wouldn't want to fall into disrepair, as it were...

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RE: In Between Visits - 7/24/2005 3:56:51 PM

Lovinit

Posts: 21
Joined: 9/7/2004
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I am currently in the same situation, but worse! My Master and I use to live in the same house and now we are 1600 miles away from eachother. I get fustrated and snippy when I want to be with him and can't be. That is NOT a solution... Don't try that!!! We talk several times a day on the phone and that helps a lot.

We are also entergy connected (Tantra), which even helps us more. At times knowing he is far away, it feels like he is right next to me.

I hear your fustration and know your pain. I am currently with him now and know in a few days, I am going home. You can't take a single day for granted when you don't know when the next day is going to come.

Lovinit

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RE: In Between Visits - 7/25/2005 10:38:57 PM

RoseSin

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/16/2005
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Aww sweetie, I know your sub pangs, I think alot of us do!! I can not speak from personal experience as I have not had a LDR, but I do have cravings for BDSM all the time. I would say masterbation really does help with the sexual needs od BDSM. However I know many submissives have mental and emotional needs. I would speak to your Dom more often and explain to him your feelings, maybe he could help you out in some way. Keeping a journal for yourself would be very helpful for you cravings, as it will allow you to free some of your, emotions, and sexual needs. Also just day dreaming helps alot, or night dreaming, before you go to bed think about a scene or something that you have or would like to play out. I hope this has helped somewhat.

(in reply to Lovinit)

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