Who's left for vital role of 'wife'?

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Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 10/4/2007 5:21:54 AM

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I found this article about some married women who would like to have a wife to take care of their home..
Also some married men whoses wives work said they would like to have another such wife too...
To me this depiction reminds me of polyamorous lifestyles, kind of... is this a sign that society will go that way in the future?

http://www.miamiherald.com/business/story/258437.html

< Message edited by switchmt -- 10/4/2007 5:27:39 AM >

RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 10/4/2007 12:05:54 PM

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I think whoever wants to fill the role of "wife" should go ahead and do it. I don't see it as being something gender specific but more of who wants to do this and is qualified to do it. Some people clearly are not cut out for the "wife" role and some fit it perfectly. There are some people out there who would rather just stay home and take care of home and hearth, meanwhile others prefer to work outside of the home. So yes I can see this happening, I've always said I wanted two husbands, one to stay home and be the "wife" and another to work with me outside of the home.

~Lashra

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 10/11/2007 9:47:32 AM

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I agree, two husbands would be fabulous. I miss a man who is good with his hands. err.. I mean good with tools. err.. power tools. err
Shoot..
I miss a guy who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty and fix things!
Kyst

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 10/16/2007 10:58:04 AM

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Missokyst, I miss women who APPRECIATE guys who can get their hands dirty and fix things. Seriously, I'm tired of women telling me "screw it, just go to walmart and buy a new one".

1. I don't shop at wal-mart
2. I can fix it in 20 minutes, she should shut up and let me get my tools. :P

(in reply to Missokyst)

RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 10/16/2007 4:00:20 PM

searching4moreak

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Loves wal mart but prefers to sit on her knees and hand over tools lol

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 10/16/2007 7:39:38 PM

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I agree with Lashra whoever wants to fill that role and feels comfortable doing it should, regardless the type of relationship. Personally being a male in our society and the type of person I am, I see it as my duty to provide for my future family financially.

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 10/16/2007 8:15:03 PM

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I think it's a real problem, and it's mainly because people no longer earn salaries that are sufficient to raise a family with. So both partners have to work, and that means there's no one left at home to do the wifely stuff. I find double-income couples draining almost all of their second salary into nannies, daycare, gas, and so on, but they simply can't survive on one salary, so the children get the worst of both worlds: two parents who work, but still don't make enough to live comfortably because all of the extra expenses associated with the second salary.

I know people on here are apt to blame "feminism" for this trend, but cold hard economics has more to do with it. Women work because they have to. Maybe things will change when people wake up and start asking why CEO's of floundering companies make bazillions of dollars while ordinary workers are being laid off and cashiered. Until then...we'll see more and more non-standard household arrangements because people have to survive.

(in reply to switchmt)

RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 10/16/2007 11:37:05 PM

phoenixinchains

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before the morgage, ( because there's no house on our land, we have to pay it off in ten years) my Mate worked his job and i kept the home. We loved it. no, We didn't have the newest this or that, but we had happiness greater than a big screen tv. now i work part time and it's just not the same, but we know it will be better in the end this way.
the world we live in is sad in some ways that we must lose in order to gain, but that's the way it is. shame there isn't a way arround that.
phoenix

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 11/4/2007 2:08:32 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I think it's a real problem, and it's mainly because people no longer earn salaries that are sufficient to raise a family with. So both partners have to work, and that means there's no one left at home to do the wifely stuff. I find double-income couples draining almost all of their second salary into nannies, daycare, gas, and so on, but they simply can't survive on one salary, so the children get the worst of both worlds: two parents who work, but still don't make enough to live comfortably because all of the extra expenses associated with the second salary.

I know people on here are apt to blame "feminism" for this trend, but cold hard economics has more to do with it. Women work because they have to. Maybe things will change when people wake up and start asking why CEO's of floundering companies make bazillions of dollars while ordinary workers are being laid off and cashiered. Until then...we'll see more and more non-standard household arrangements because people have to survive.

I really agree with you.. it's very much an economic problem of our times..

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 11/4/2007 2:32:09 AM

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Quite frankly, it should be the other way around. Women should have at least 2 husbands, rather than the men have more than 1 wife.
While some men lament having no wife at home, some women are dissapointed that there are so few men around that can fix thing & work with their hands.

I think there are many of us women that would have been very happy to stay home & keep the home fires burning, but as Lordandmaster stated, it is nearly impossible from an economic standpoint, for one person's income to fill that role. Mortgages used to be a quarter of one person's earnings. Now, most people need to pay at least half or more of their earnings to keep a roof over their heads. That usually doesn't leave much to try to make ends meet with the rest. Most of the younger guys I have talked with, all seem to feel it much more fair to them if someday, when they get married, their wife will work. I think it is expected now, whereas, when I was growing up, very few women worked outside their homes.

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 11/4/2007 2:49:47 AM

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quote:

Women work because they have to. Maybe things will change when people wake up and start asking why CEO's of floundering companies make bazillions of dollars while ordinary workers are being laid off and cashiered.

LM, you're right...and you should also consider the unstable nature of the family unit. i'm a single mom. i work a full time and a half time job. i think i'd work part time even if i had the choice...my job is a vocation. but raising children and creating a home is a vocation, too. i'd be thrilled to cook and clean more, to make homemade Halloween costumes and invite my son's friends over.

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 11/4/2007 2:06:42 PM

MistressPurpleFL

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"Wife" The role of wife should not have to be gender specific in my opinion just as Lashra has stated. I would prefer to have many other people fill the Wifely role whether it be men or women. I enjoy working outside the home but there may come a time where I may not have to but I bore easy so I will have to find other hobbies. Can I cook? Can I clean? Can I do all the so called wifely duties YES but do I want to ? NO and I don't have too.

Smiles,
MP

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 11/9/2007 5:20:27 PM

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I think part of the problem for a lot of couples is different ideas about what constitutes a clean house or "things taken care of." The article says "women need to understand a bathroom cleaned by a man is better than one not cleaned at all" but what about the 'not cleaned at all' option? For my boyfriend, a clear path in the house, one set of clean dishes and not too many bills with "second notice" marked is fine with him. For me, I'd prefer bills paid in advance and dishes done right after they're used. So is it really fair to say everything must be done my way? Or his way? Compromise works for the most part.
I notice a lot of couples profiles on here looking for someone to keep the house clean, though.

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 11/9/2007 10:17:02 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
Women work because they have to. Maybe things will change when people wake up and start asking why CEO's of floundering companies make bazillions of dollars while ordinary workers are being laid off and cashiered. Until then...we'll see more and more non-standard household arrangements because people have to survive.

I do agree with the "rich are getting richer while the poor are getting poorer" sentiment you spoke of above. However, I think consumerism is also a culprit. People think they need to buy everything brand new. They don't wait for their stuff to wear out like in the old days, they buy the latest and greatest becuase they WANT it. They don't need it. I've had the same cell phone for nearly three years. I know people who buy the newest model every 6 months. Or what about the people who just *had* to have the iPhone the day it came out? Those Pledge Grab-it wipes are a quarter a sheet. Whatever happened to a rag and some pledge spray? Now they even have Windex wipes. Give me a break! People trade in their new cars for even newer cars. People in the fifties could survive on only one income because they weren't as greedy and frivolous as we are today. Families had one car and when their fridge gave out, they had it repaired (rather than buy a new one for 0 down with no payment due for two years and go ahead and throw in a new flat panel tv and new leather sofa while we're at it).

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 11/10/2007 12:49:31 AM

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I agree with a lot of that too. People are spoiled; they borrow money to buy things they don't need; and then they wonder why they don't have any money.

But if you look at real incomes over time, you'll see that they've stagnated for most ordinary people. This is a great document:

http://www.census.gov/prod/2004pubs/p60-226.pdf

Go to Table A-3 (p. 36).

You'll see that real incomes have hardly budged for the lower percentiles, but have been climbing rapidly for each percentile range in the top half.

Or, if you want to see a graph based on the same numbers:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:United_States_Income_Distribution_1967-2003.svg

Those lines at the bottom aren't moving at all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HelenaTroy

I do agree with the "rich are getting richer while the poor are getting poorer" sentiment you spoke of above. However, I think consumerism is also a culprit. People think they need to buy everything brand new. They don't wait for their stuff to wear out like in the old days, they buy the latest and greatest becuase they WANT it. They don't need it. I've had the same cell phone for nearly three years. I know people who buy the newest model every 6 months. Or what about the people who just *had* to have the iPhone the day it came out? Those Pledge Grab-it wipes are a quarter a sheet. Whatever happened to a rag and some pledge spray? Now they even have Windex wipes. Give me a break! People trade in their new cars for even newer cars. People in the fifties could survive on only one income because they weren't as greedy and frivolous as we are today. Families had one car and when their fridge gave out, they had it repaired (rather than buy a new one for 0 down with no payment due for two years and go ahead and throw in a new flat panel tv and new leather sofa while we're at it).

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 11/10/2007 11:09:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I agree, two husbands would be fabulous. I miss a man who is good with his hands. err.. I mean good with tools. err.. power tools. err
Shoot..
I miss a guy who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty and fix things!
Kyst

Forget two husbands, I want two wives!

One to bring in good money, the other to make fabulous pies!

(in reply to Missokyst)

RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 11/10/2007 2:00:32 PM

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I'd love to have two husbands should we ever find the right person... but I'll be honest, I can pay my own way, cook well, and clean easily when I'm the only one in the house... and my spouse does the same. -I'd mainly want the second one around for more sex.

You need a backup when the first one powers down.

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 11/10/2007 2:10:28 PM

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On a more serious note, reading that article the thing that kept coming to mind is not that these hetero-married women discussed need a "wife", but rather that they need better husbands.

What was repeatedly implied was basically "men can't be relied upon, that's just how it is with men". Honestly, that underlying theme strikes me as flat misandry. There is zero reason why a male can't be relied upon to cover 50% (or more, depending on how the family's hours work out) of the household chores, make appointments, do necessary laundry on time, etc. just because they're male.

If one pics a male mate who doesn't then that's just picking a mate who doesn't... there are plenty of reliable, capable and willing-to-do-their-share men out there. One does not need to settle for less, but many woman choose to.

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 11/11/2007 12:47:47 PM

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My man can be relied on when he's home but his job takes him out of town a lot. I when he's home he acts in the capacity of a wife. My career is just starting off now thus I'm gone more due to long commute. I need another wife because most of the wifely duties I'm not interested in doing most of the time & he's not home to do them.
So I think the reliability issue really should not be just toward men ... I know plenty of females that are not reliable either (I don't like to say that about another female but I don't think males have the conner on unreliability)

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RE: Who's left for vital role of 'wife'? - 11/11/2007 1:25:42 PM

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Employers are less likely to accept a man calling in sick to take care of an ill um. That's why men do less. Plus there is the control factor. Women frequently say they want men to do more but they enjoy complaining about him not doing it up to their standards. If a man does it, and doesn't get positive feedback, or worse has the woman say it isn't good enough and then she redoes the job, she is unlikely to find him accepting that job again.

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