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RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 1:15:17 PM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why is it when you get old that people think that your discussting to be with. Younger subs/slaves don't want anything to do with a father figure. Older subs and BBW are looking for someone younger. What are older Doms to do? Is there a cut off age for Doms. The older Domme's don't seem to have that problem. What's a person to do.

I call shenanigans!

How much younger are the people you are trying to interact with? I, myself, tend to prefer somewhat older partners (longest gap was about 11 years). In the same right, however, I also tend to be rather suspicious of much older men outside of what I consider my peer group (a couple three years younger up to roughly 15 years older, give or take depending on attitude) especially, since many of my experiences with people that are profoundly older have had some fairly consistent problems and obstacles.

Age does make a difference, there comes a point where you have very different life experiences, interests, perspectives and generally, yknow, not much in common. This isn't always true, but a definite concern and common obstacle. The other problem that I've commonly noticed is that a much older gentleman (I suppose women may do it too, but I've never encountered the situation) will frequently give me the impression of wanting a trophy. Again, not always, but it happens often enough to cause me pause. I have no interest in being a status symbol trophy item, or some simply an ego boost. As such, I tread carefully, and carry lots of a salt. :) I don't exclude possibilities, but I also know that the odds are rather long given a host of factors. Hell, the odds of someone being compatible with me are rather slim without throwing in age hurdles.

As for older people, I think, generally, many people are looking for someone within whatever their idea of a peer group range is. My range is rather broad, others less so. So, I imagine, older women generally are more interested in others near their age, perhaps older. As for BBW, I really don't see what body type has to do with age preferences.

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 21

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 1:48:23 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings dnomyar,

my master is 54 and i am 19. he is not a father figure to me, necessarily (i do not want one, and he does not wish to be one), but in general, i have a tendency to date older men and find them more attractive, and in particular, we are very happy together.

so it is possible. :)

respectfully,
annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 22

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 2:23:42 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

there are older bbws (younger ones too) looking for that father figure ...i prefer older men over the junior crowd (younger men).

both of my doms are slightly older than me

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 23

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 3:49:13 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BabyNyla

I am the oddball ... I wanted a younger one ... so when I was 28 I met an 18 year old Dom ... and we have now been married for a year and a half ... but I am weird :\

I make Him and me 18 years apart.

(in reply to BabyNyla)

Post #: 24

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 4:14:34 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

I must admit I found this thread odd as I was introduced to this lifestyle at 16 and am now 27. (Yes I know I am still young) for me my age has ALWAYS been an issue. Today I can respect that, I can understand that a 35 year old sub didn't really want to surrender herself to someone who was young enough to be her son.

That being said I spent the first 4 years of my journey with my face burried in books, not in slaves. I spent most of my time getting involved in the community and just trying to LEARN not get laid (Although there was a desire to do that and it caused many problems in my upbringing)

In 11 years I have learned this:

There is no practical way to find a slave other than good old fashion Patience. Even if you were in your 30's you would still be having problems finding slaves who can accept this part or that part of you. In the end a Master slave relationship is nurtured over time and the strongest bonds I ever found were by those who never thought they could work and spent the time, the blood, the sweat, and the tears to discover what the other was truely capable of.

Sounds sappy but it's true.

My girl is also my wife and before she met me she knew of the lifestyle but not what it was today I have a very different relationship than what I thought I would have but I wouldn't want it any other way.

As Always

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 25

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 4:34:53 PM

sammiebabygirl

Posts: 465
Joined: 10/23/2004
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why is it when you get old that people think that your discussting to be with. Younger subs/slaves don't want anything to do with a father figure. Older subs and BBW are looking for someone younger. What are older Doms to do? Is there a cut off age for Doms. The older Domme's don't seem to have that problem. What's a person to do.

Personally, I prefer Doms that are between 50 and 60, although I will go as low as 40. I am 42 and have never found myself compatible with men much younger than myself.

Now, if I could find a 60 year old with the libido of a 17 year old, we would be in business. LOL

jen

_____________________________

"Men are like pianos. When they get upright, i feel GRAND!!!"

http://charldine.com/jen2820

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 26

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 5:31:10 PM

AEslaveM

Posts: 126
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

My Master is almost 51, and i am 48...........and we are loving every minute of this! Between us, the life experience alone has been worth its weight in gold. He is very patient with me, and i find that the things that might have bothered me in younger years are now not worth thinking about..........We have found a happy medium, and it is the most wonderful experience i could ever imagine!

_____________________________

M

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 27

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 5:35:11 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

i think anything with in five or ten years is fine i think when it is extreme there will be aproblem like 20 or so years. that is a bit much. there different forms of discrimination

(in reply to AEslaveM)

Post #: 28

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 6:08:07 PM

Kirata

Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why is it when you get old that people think that your discussting to be with. Younger subs/slaves don't want anything to do with a father figure. Older subs and BBW are looking for someone younger. What are older Doms to do? Is there a cut off age for Doms. The older Domme's don't seem to have that problem. What's a person to do.

I think that as far as online goes, the age range a woman thinks she wants to stay within is the one she'll be most likely to set the search feature to look for, and her mail to filter for. When you are mingling in real life, on the other hand, I have not found women to be preoccupied with age or to let it stop them from being with someone whose company they enjoy.

K.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 29

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 6:33:13 PM

payne12

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

Has to be older man for me.........younger doesnt cut it with me LOL

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 30

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 6:38:31 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

I have to somewhat agree with Kirata, it is not necessarily the age but the personality for me..with that said however..I would not feel comfortable with a young man in his 20's(age of my um)..but older than me..I would not have issue with..of course..lol..since I am an old broad, older than me is between 50 and death.~wink~Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to Kirata)

Post #: 31

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 6:55:27 PM

amelliagrace

Posts: 1792
Joined: 8/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why is it when you get old that people think that your discussting to be with. Younger subs/slaves don't want anything to do with a father figure. Older subs and BBW are looking for someone younger. What are older Doms to do? Is there a cut off age for Doms. The older Domme's don't seem to have that problem. What's a person to do.

Search patiently for the older sub or BBW who isn't specifically looking for a younger dominant. Finding a mate or partner isn't usually an easy process, at any age or stage. There are women out there who really don't want a Dom who's 25 yrs younger than they are.

-grace

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 32

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 6:57:09 PM

amelliagrace

Posts: 1792
Joined: 8/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why is it when you get old that people think that your discussting to be with. Younger subs/slaves don't want anything to do with a father figure. Older subs and BBW are looking for someone younger. What are older Doms to do? Is there a cut off age for Doms. The older Domme's don't seem to have that problem. What's a person to do.

I think that as far as online goes, the age range a woman thinks she wants to stay within is the one she'll be most likely to set the search feature to look for, and her mail to filter for. When you are mingling in real life, on the other hand, I have not found women to be preoccupied with age or to let it stop them from being with someone whose company they enjoy.

K.

Really good points, Sir, and well made.

-grace

(in reply to Kirata)

Post #: 33

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 7:04:38 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Being that I havent yet decided if this post is a serous issue, or someone blowing smoke, I'll keep my comments to a minimum.
The problem is that aside from the Father Figure offering, there are very few Doms who are older looking for younger for a relationship. There are tons of daughter types looking for Daddys, but a lot of those want sugar daddys.
Its all in a matter of what you are looking for and what you like.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to amelliagrace)

Post #: 34

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 8:01:13 PM

shellzbythesea

Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why is it when you get old that people think that your discussting to be with. Younger subs/slaves don't want anything to do with a father figure. Older subs and BBW are looking for someone younger. What are older Doms to do? Is there a cut off age for Doms. The older Domme's don't seem to have that problem. What's a person to do.

How much younger are You looking for? It seems many (not everyone) older Doms are looking for subs 30+ years younger than themselves. Have You tried looking for someone closer to Your own age? i've asked other Doms this and this is their response to me: "Why would i want that?" The question can also be posed the other way around...

But as others have said...there is someone for everyone.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 35

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 9:14:35 PM

exogenous

Posts: 57
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why is it when you get old that people think that your discussting to be with. Younger subs/slaves don't want anything to do with a father figure. Older subs and BBW are looking for someone younger. What are older Doms to do? Is there a cut off age for Doms. The older Domme's don't seem to have that problem. What's a person to do.

I think that as far as online goes, the age range a woman thinks she wants to stay within is the one she'll be most likely to set the search feature to look for, and her mail to filter for. When you are mingling in real life, on the other hand, I have not found women to be preoccupied with age or to let it stop them from being with someone whose company they enjoy.

K.

The core of this thread (regardless of the motivations behind either of the OP's; the main question remains the same, older versus younger) does not seem much more different than http://www.collarchat.com/m_1317312/tm.htm and the responses surprise me, a bit. Why is a thread from an older Dom who is having difficulty finding a sub so seemingly more acceptable (people are more sympathetic) than from a sub (albeit specifying [spell?] weight as well as age issues) having difficulty finding a Dom?

In any case, I completely agree with Kirata, in that it's about enjoying another's company, discovering common interests and connections that create a foundation leading to fulfillment on various levels.

I have to admit, I am wary of men younger than myself, and my preference is for men older than me. Yet, it's a yin/yang thing; age does not necessarily mean a halt to the possibility of a relationship with a younger man. For me it's more about maturity, sincerity, and common values, interests, etc.

(in reply to Kirata)

Post #: 36

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 9:18:21 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar
Why is it when you get old that people think that your discussting to be with. Younger subs/slaves don't want anything to do with a father figure. Older subs and BBW are looking for someone younger. What are older Doms to do? Is there a cut off age for Doms. The older Domme's don't seem to have that problem. What's a person to do.

I am 35 and Master turned 61 today. I love the fact that He is so much older because He is also so much wiser and experienced (not just with D/s but with many life experiences). Not all younger sub/slaves find it disgusting to be with someone older. As a matter of fact, I've seen just the opposite quite alot. Father figure or not, hopefully age equals wisdom and life experience and I dig that

...............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 37

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 9:41:09 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: exogenous

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why is it when you get old that people think that your discussting to be with. Younger subs/slaves don't want anything to do with a father figure. Older subs and BBW are looking for someone younger. What are older Doms to do? Is there a cut off age for Doms. The older Domme's don't seem to have that problem. What's a person to do.

I think that as far as online goes, the age range a woman thinks she wants to stay within is the one she'll be most likely to set the search feature to look for, and her mail to filter for. When you are mingling in real life, on the other hand, I have not found women to be preoccupied with age or to let it stop them from being with someone whose company they enjoy.

K.

The core of this thread (regardless of the motivations behind either of the OP's; the main question remains the same, older versus younger) does not seem much more different than http://www.collarchat.com/m_1317312/tm.htm and the responses surprise me, a bit. Why is a thread from an older Dom who is having difficulty finding a sub so seemingly more acceptable (people are more sympathetic) than from a sub (albeit specifying [spell?] weight as well as age issues) having difficulty finding a Dom?

In any case, I completely agree with Kirata, in that it's about enjoying another's company, discovering common interests and connections that create a foundation leading to fulfillment on various levels.

I have to admit, I am wary of men younger than myself, and my preference is for men older than me. Yet, it's a yin/yang thing; age does not necessarily mean a halt to the possibility of a relationship with a younger man. For me it's more about maturity, sincerity, and common values, interests, etc.

maturity is a good point at what age does someone really have it together. on all levels. i think thats where real life experince comes into play

(in reply to exogenous)

Post #: 38

RE: Being old problem - 10/4/2007 11:45:44 PM

BrutalMasterOne

Posts: 53
Joined: 4/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why is it when you get old that people think that your discussting to be with. Younger subs/slaves don't want anything to do with a father figure. Older subs and BBW are looking for someone younger. What are older Doms to do? Is there a cut off age for Doms. The older Domme's don't seem to have that problem. What's a person to do.

OK, I just couldn't resist being drawn into this. I am a poly Master with the good fortune to have found several slaves. My youngest is 25 (but I met her on line first when she was 17 and dropped her totally when I found out her age) The other day she told me of a dream she had. I had released her and sent her home and a 65 year old wanted her to be his. She looked (in her dream) at him and said ugh he is way too old....So I said to her, heck I am older than that so I guess it is over? Her reply (and perhaps this sums it up) "Oh, I hadn't thought of that, when I look at you I don't see an old man."

One of my other slaves is close to my age, she is 62, and has been mine for 40+ years.

Another is 50, and the last current one is 45. So there is no shortage of women who need to be enslaved. I don't look for playmates, I seek slaves. There are many differences (as I see it) between "doms" and "Masters" and many differences in the female side as well.

One comment here was about those looking for "sugar daddies" but often one could classify women of all ages as wanting that at some point...Actually I don't mean that all women want that but age has no particular hold on that.

Relationships ARE the most important part. My slaves give up exclusivity for what I can provide them and for each of them it is in some way different. There are so many men who just don't get what it is that women need and want.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 39

RE: Being old problem - 10/5/2007 12:33:27 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

quote:

What are older Doms to do?

Older Doms need to do what everyone who is looking for a partner does. They need to attend munches. They need to attend events. They need to meet people in their community.

My Dom was 64 and i was 54 when we met. We met at a week long BDSM camping event, not on Collarme although we both had profiles here.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 40

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