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Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 2:51:13 PM

Zmey

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Here is a very typical hypothetical scenario. Say you're seeing someone and it's going very well. You kiss on a first date, birds/bats are singing, sun/moon shines extra brightly. Theoretically you wouldn't mind getting some at this point. You go a little further on a second date. You find the person amazingly stimulating in all aspects. You really wanna jump to bed at this point. On a third date you discover similar kinks and decide to go explore it.
Now I personally don't agree with this typical scenario. I believe in love at first sight. Question is does it suit you? When you are in a bedroom with that person would you call it making love or havening sex? How long does it usually takes for infatuation to become something more? Would you even wait for a third date?

RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 2:59:18 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zmey

Here is a very typical hypothetical scenario. Say you're seeing someone and it's going very well. You kiss on a first date, birds/bats are singing, sun/moon shines extra brightly. Theoretically you wouldn't mind getting some at this point. You go a little further on a second date. You find the person amazingly stimulating in all aspects. You really wanna jump to bed at this point. On a third date you discover similar kinks and decide to go explore it.
Now I personally don't agree with this typical scenario. I believe in love at first sight. Question is does it suit you? When you are in a bedroom with that person would you call it making love or havening sex? How long does it usually takes for infatuation to become something more? Would you even wait for a third date?

Personally, I never fuck them on the first date. Never. We're going to get into a situation where I'm deciding who's fucking when. First date - the woman is in control......sixth date, she's thinking what is going on here, and she's no longer sure of the situation, but I am.

Fuck a woman on the first date, and it's a recipe for chaos.

Love at first sight has never happened to me, so I'm not much of a convert.

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RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 3:16:51 PM

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I don't have a set number of dates, however in the lifestyle I find and many others have discussed here that once the sexual activities start attachment can be exaggerated. For that reason, I think it's important to make sure the person you are with is someone you can talk to, have things in common with, enjoy spending time with and isn't going to drive you insane before you have sex. That having been said, I can't say I haven't ever jumped too soon, but you know, I'm human.
l

(in reply to NorthernGent)

RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 3:18:34 PM

ChicagoSwitchMal

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I've fucked on the first date. I've waited a month. Sometimes the mood is just right and it's stupid to fight it. Sometimes trust needs to be built. Sometimes it's fucking. Sometimes it's making love. I never judged or tried to figure out why. It's the poetry of life.

(in reply to NorthernGent)

RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 3:19:04 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

That having been said, I can't say I haven't ever jumped too soon, but you know, I'm human.

Aren't we all...I agree with the jumped in too soon (a long time ago)....but the fun is in the chase.

_____________________________

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 3:19:08 PM

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Love at first sight doesn’t exist; you confuse love and lust I think. Loving someone is an intimate knowledge of that person that you couldn’t expect to garner from only seeing such a person or having sex with them a couple of times. Lust is a great mechanism for the initial attraction that leads to love, so don’t do it the injustice of calling it love. It isn’t wrong to lust after someone and whoever told you that lust is love is also telling you lust is wrong. I wouldn’t believe that person because they are a script writer and mostly deal with fiction; I bet you heard most of what you wrote here from movies. It takes as long as it takes to love someone, maybe you give up after date three but it could have happened on date four that is the crap of life.

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RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 3:21:34 PM

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I personally don't have the recipe for love soup or i'd pass it on...

I do know it can happen when you aren't even looking for it!

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(in reply to Zmey)

RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 3:23:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

That having been said, I can't say I haven't ever jumped too soon, but you know, I'm human.

Aren't we all...I agree with the jumped in too soon (a long time ago)....but the fun is in the chase.

Honestly I try to avoid the "fun is in the chase" types....I want stability and long term and they just don't tend to stick around that long.
l

(in reply to NorthernGent)

RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 3:24:47 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

That having been said, I can't say I haven't ever jumped too soon, but you know, I'm human.

Aren't we all...I agree with the jumped in too soon (a long time ago)....but the fun is in the chase.

Honestly I try to avoid the "fun is in the chase" types....I want stability and long term and they just don't tend to stick around that long.
l

To each their own.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 3:29:31 PM

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Geeee... can't help ya here. I'm of the generation that questioned if it was proper to KISS on the first date.

Every relationship is different... there are no hard and fast rules. I think the questions would to consider - what would you think of the female that gave it up quickly and are you truly looking for a lasting relationship or just a fuck buddy?

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I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Zmey)

RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 3:30:18 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

That having been said, I can't say I haven't ever jumped too soon, but you know, I'm human.

Aren't we all...I agree with the jumped in too soon (a long time ago)....but the fun is in the chase.

Honestly I try to avoid the "fun is in the chase" types....I want stability and long term and they just don't tend to stick around that long.
l

To each their own.

always

(in reply to NorthernGent)

RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 7:27:12 PM

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Why are you confusing sex, infatuation and love? FOr me they are three completely separate concepts and experiences. While they can be combined- if you want to fuck, fuck. If you want to love, love. As long as you don't expect love from sex or sex from love or anything like that, you're good.

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RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 7:34:54 PM

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i believe in fuck at fist site!

No way it takes time and the older ya get the mo time it takes imo.

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(in reply to Zmey)

RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 9:07:37 PM

slaverosebeauty

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I have had sex on a first date; that was after many conversations, emails and phone calls, so it wasn't really like having sex with a stranger.

I believe in love at first-site and lust at first-site [I married that guy, my EX husband].

Unless their is an emotional connection, I call it 'sex; if their IS an emotional connection beyond 'this feels great,' I call it 'making love.' I'm a romantic; I would rather make love or take my time than have a quick f*** or have sex. If you mix M/s and bdsm into it, then I am a gonner and it morphs into something beyond sex or making love.

I have had to work on controlling that 'infatuation' side of things; I know better, after causally dating and a few short term relationships, I let that happen, now, I KNOW better an I know the risks; things happen in their own time, so I curb te infatuation.

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RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 9:14:23 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zmey

Now I personally don't agree with this typical scenario. I believe in love at first sight.

You know, there are people who instantly fall in love with each when the first meet who wait a while before having sex or a few dates before having sex. In fact, some still wait untill they are married before doing the deed.

So when you say "love at first sight." Which comes first, a diamond ring or a bonner?

Anyhow, I've never had a problem waiting for a third or even fiftyth date before making it to home plate. Each person I've been with was different and it all depended on what we where both looking for at the time. Also, the other interest and kinky things we did would also be a factor. There's still teasing, fooling around, fore play, and oral sex that can be done many times over before having intercourse becomes a topic of discussion in your relationship.

Two people falling in love at first sight does not mean "Let's get a room." That's for people who say "I'm horny" "I'm also horny" "Okay, let's fuck."

L.A. as usual, hit it right on the mark with you question.

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RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 9:30:45 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zmey

Here is a very typical hypothetical scenario. Say you're seeing someone and it's going very well. You kiss on a first date, birds/bats are singing, sun/moon shines extra brightly. Theoretically you wouldn't mind getting some at this point. You go a little further on a second date. You find the person amazingly stimulating in all aspects. You really wanna jump to bed at this point. On a third date you discover similar kinks and decide to go explore it.
Now I personally don't agree with this typical scenario. I believe in love at first sight. Question is does it suit you? When you are in a bedroom with that person would you call it making love or havening sex? How long does it usually takes for infatuation to become something more? Would you even wait for a third date?

Personally, I never fuck them on the first date. Never. We're going to get into a situation where I'm deciding who's fucking when. First date - the woman is in control......sixth date, she's thinking what is going on here, and she's no longer sure of the situation, but I am.

Fuck a woman on the first date, and it's a recipe for chaos.

Love at first sight has never happened to me, so I'm not much of a convert.

I tend to fuck them during the first date.

_____________________________

(in reply to NorthernGent)

RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/9/2007 9:32:57 PM

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Joined: 4/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zmey

Here is a very typical hypothetical scenario. Say you're seeing someone and it's going very well. You kiss on a first date, birds/bats are singing, sun/moon shines extra brightly. Theoretically you wouldn't mind getting some at this point. You go a little further on a second date. You find the person amazingly stimulating in all aspects. You really wanna jump to bed at this point. On a third date you discover similar kinks and decide to go explore it.
Now I personally don't agree with this typical scenario. I believe in love at first sight. Question is does it suit you? When you are in a bedroom with that person would you call it making love or havening sex? How long does it usually takes for infatuation to become something more? Would you even wait for a third date?

When you title this thread, "Question for all you non-believers".. is it you're looking for an atheist (or not-of-your religion) prospectives, or for those who don't believe in romance, or for those who don't believe in sex on the first date, for those who don't believe in waiting, or..?

Well, long question short, non-believer in what? What're you looking for?

(in reply to Zmey)

RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/10/2007 3:36:33 AM

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wow what a thorny question...

I have met people and become instantly infatuated with them, it happens with me more often than not in fact. When i meet someone new and they intrigue me, They occupy my mind, I think about them all the time, and want to know everything about them. I used to jump into sex, but then I was younger and male, so that is hardly surprising. I don't anymore. I was with my sub 6 months before we had sex, but I was making her sigh and whimper from a little pain after a week or two. This is without question the strongest I have felt in a relationship for sometime. Is it because I waited? who knows. As to the difference between sex and love... thats tricky, for some people.. making love is unadorned... two bodies wanting to be as close to each other as possible.. to feel ach other.. an act full of tenderness and emotion. And sex is hard and gritty and powerful in a different way and has more screaming and grunting. I think its more complicated than that... I think its the difference between emotional connection and physical drive. sex is what happenes when you're both so wound up you're gonna tear each other apart, whatever form that may take.. and making love is where you know each others bodies so well and want them so much in every way. Now making love can still have pinching or scratching or a lil biting or whatever makes you happy. I think Making love is defined by the look... if your with someone and you're doing whatever you're doing... and your eyes meet.. and in that moment there is an unspoken conversation that lasts a lifetime, that says you are all I want and more, you are everything I could ever have dreamed you would be. In that perfect moment, that fragile perfect moment, where hearts lay open... then you are making love

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RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/10/2007 3:49:21 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

So when you say "love at first sight." Which comes first, a diamond ring or a bonner?

If the boner doesn't come first, I don't want the ring

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 10/10/2007 3:50:11 AM >

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RE: Question for all you non-believers - 10/10/2007 4:40:38 AM

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I am not sure untainted love exists. It is hard to arrive at per dating.

(in reply to laurell3)

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