RE: finding a suitable master

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MrThorns -> RE: finding a suitable master (7/22/2004 6:14:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: expogirl I am new also but I have been online for over a year. I am looking for a Master myself, but haven't found one yet. No you don't lower yourself to anything to find a Master. I talk to a couple of Master online and they tell me that be patience there is one out there. One of the Master I talk to is a Lord. He was brought up in the lifestyle. He call me little one and that is fine with me. The second one help me along to wait for the right one. You got to know what you want in a Dom/Domme But the word is PATIENCE and one will come along. Just curious...but is this "Lord" one of these people that say they were like sold into slavery at age 7, trained on some mystical island to be a dominant by some Dominatrix? So now he's a "True" Master and Lord ...recognized as such by the community as a whole? (Might want to get some references on that one...) To answer the original poster. Stick to your standards..but find out what it is that you want for yourself. Be realistic in your expectations and take your time. ~Thorns

Sinergy -> RE: finding a suitable master (7/22/2004 6:40:23 AM)
quote: A Lord? Really? Was he Knighted? Where? Graham Norton observed to Elton John that it must be weird to be a queen who was knighted by The Queen. The problem with asking that question is the Lord In Question will probably refer back to some secret cabal which they could tell you about but would be forced to kill you. I would simply smile, update my Legend-In-Own-Mind-List, and move on. But that is just me, and I could be wrong. Sinergy

pixieunleashed -> RE: finding a suitable master (7/22/2004 8:32:47 AM)
[quote[what am i doing wrong???? [/quote] Good questoin, instead of asking us, have you asked yourself? Are you receptive to what yourself answers back? I suggest you stop, go into the bathroom, wash your face, look at yourself, and say....(Your Name) What am I doing wrong?......sit and think on it a while, if no answer, you are probably not receptive to what yourself has to say. Once you have an answer, you can decide if yourself is full of it or not. I also suggest if you have not already, get into the local community more and see what they are really like. Maybe you are not really looking for a Master/Dom after all? The problem with "standards" is that they box everybody up and don't allow for individuality. Expecially when you list them like that. You are asking for someone to take you and love you regardless, and here you come with your STANDARDS. You may come to a time when you have to decide if your "standards" are more important than having someone in your life. What happens if you fall in love with someone that doesn't meet your "standards" are you even open to that? This is a vast and beautiful world, there are people in this community from all walks of life, with different belief systems, different body types, etc. If nobody has met your standards (provided you have been searching for a year or so) by now, maybe you might want to review them. Are they too high? I know a lot of wonderful people, that I would've loved to date, that had "standards" and while I probably met them, I wouldn't even approach them, because they stated it like that. They are constantly depressed, constantly searching....they have been searching for three years (as long as I know them) and continue, they mope around talking about how they wish they could find someone, etc...Some have accepted their fate and are now pompous arrogant DOMINANT men whom nobody is good enough for. They all still get lonely and sad. If you decide to keep your standards as high as they are, be prepared for the above scenario. It is not a happy one. With the vastness of this world, people are not just sitting around waiting for you to show up. Maintain your standards if they are what is most important to you. Stay in your box, but don't be surprised when everybody else is off having fun and nobody even bothers to look in your box. thank you for reading this, have a great day, pixie

darkinshadows -> RE: finding a suitable master (7/22/2004 9:40:42 AM)
In Angels honest opinion... It isnt about lowering Your standards... it isnt about luck... and as for doing anything wrong, well... the only thing You need to do is KNOW YOURSELF. You cannot submit to anyone fully unless You do. The same that A Person cannot offer You guidence or be Your Master unless they know themself. When You know Yourself, You will not need to question anything You have done, time will be irrelevent and You, yourself will blossom and be more aware of Who is around You... That is when Your Master will arrive.(does that sound overly romatic?...*grinz)

SentForu -> RE: finding a suitable master (7/22/2004 12:27:32 PM)
I completely agree. I am new as well, and was kinda anxious at first. But, now I've realized that this isn't an easy choice. This lifestyle in itself tells you, that you have to be very careful in your choices. I have very high standards as well. Most of them revolve around who a person is inside, rather than just the shell they live in. Compromising is ok, just don't go too far. I definately wish you well with your search, and stay picky....[;)]

kiki blue -> RE: finding a suitable master (7/22/2004 2:53:57 PM)
I'm quite realistic about myself, and about what it is that I want. I'm not looking at jumping head first into a relationship, in fact, at the moment, I'm so happy being single that I almost don't want one to turn up [:)} But if it happens, it happens. I've put feelers out there (ads), and I go to parties, munches, and I socialise in non kink settings too. I'm enjoying being who I am and having fun with life. I know that the right person will turn up when the time is right. But I also know there are some things I won't compromise on anymore. They may be high standards to some, but they're my standards. And it doesn't stop me from tasting and testing what's out there [;)]

Slavekeepr -> RE: finding a suitable master (7/24/2004 10:25:06 PM)
I can relate as I am too extremely particular about whom I choose to spend my time with much less own and be responsible for. I have come to realize from my last search for a slave, that its not likely that I will be able to repeat that choice. I took 3 years getting to know, testing, becoming friends over the net and by phone to be sure she really and truly knew what she was getting into. She was with a loser/pseudo dom/wannabe and was very unfulfilled with good reason. He thought talking dirty to her was "subspace". I befriended her and actually did help mentor, but as I had told her from day one, the more she knew of me the more fault she would find with him. At one time I even broke off most contact with her as she really wanted to try and see if he was what she hoped for. When I recontacted her, she was about losing it emotionally and financially. Drinking too much, smoking had tripled, and she was burnt out. Even though this "dom" had 2 ex wives and 3 kids, his goal was to ride his harley and not much else. That was his goal in life, to own a thing, all the while a beautiful woman was begging to be owned instead. He was the type who claimed he never wanted to marry either woman (but did it twice?) and never wanted kids (but had 3!) Can we see what type of person this is? At 42 he had the attatude of "if I earn more it will only go to my ex's and kids". She finally broke from him and I took another 9 months to be sure this wasnt a "rebound" etc. Finally after all these years, a woman who did as she said, was beautiful and obediant, and had far surpassed all others I have ever met. Just before I moved her to FL, 11 months after she broke up with the "dom", he heard of her move. So he decided to blow his head off and put her # in his pocket so the cops called her first. I spent a year trying to help her with her grief, but he did the ultimate mind f*** as he had intended. To deal she turned it from him trying to destroy her future to "no on can care as much as he did as he couldnt bear life w/o her". Of course this may have been true, but waiting 11mos and until she was moving? Rational people can see thru that. My point of all this long story is that I have 4+ years invested and am now starting over once again. Being as particualr as before, or comparing others to her will only keep me dissatisfied and alone. To me life to be experieced and not wasted, and if you wait you will miss alot. SK

Sinergy -> RE: finding a suitable master (7/25/2004 12:12:41 AM)
quote: I suggest you stop, go into the bathroom, wash your face, look at yourself, and say....(Your Name) What am I doing wrong?...... I have tried this, but Your Name has not gotten back to me yet. Sinergy

pixieunleashed -> RE: finding a suitable master (7/25/2004 8:38:57 AM)
quote: I have tried this, but Your Name has not gotten back to me yet. Interesting, perhaps you should try the word "self" instead of "your name".....if that doesn't help...maybe nobody's home? have a great day, pixie

Sinergy -> RE: finding a suitable master (7/25/2004 8:48:42 AM)
quote: Interesting, perhaps you should try the word "self" instead of "your name".....if that doesn't help...maybe nobody's home? I have had any number of people indicate to me that they frequently wonder if anybody is home. I usually respond that I will have my people call their people so we can all do lunch. Sinergy

pixieunleashed -> RE: finding a suitable master (7/25/2004 9:06:03 AM)
quote: I suggest you stop, go into the bathroom, wash your face, look at yourself, and say....(Your Name) What am I doing wrong?...... I just realized though, that the language in that statement is not effective in getting the answers you need. Instead.....ask yourself....How can I do/have/achieve this? this=whatever it is you are wanting to achieve. If you ask "what am I doing wrong?" not only are you confirming to yourself that you are in fact doing something wrong. You are also opening yourself to listing all the negative things about yourself beating yourself into a bigger hole. Questioning yourself negatively, allows yourself to think of all the negative things possible. You will always get answers from yourself, in asking yourself questions in the positive manner you only leave yourself the option to answer yourself positively. Be mindful when talking to yourself, because you actually do listen, say only positive things to yourself, even if it is about negative things. Talk to yourself in the "now" as our spiritual minds do not comprehend minor time issues, such as tomorrow, or yesterday. If you say, "I am going to start getting in shape tomorrow. Your mind hears "start getting in shape, TOMORROW" When is tomorrow? What tomorrow are we talking about? Today's tomorrow, or tomorrow's tomorrow? It is very confuseing to your mind and usually goals stated like that do not get accomplished. I apologize for my earlier post. I thought I had the answer then, I think I have the answer now. Tomorrow, I may change it, or I may even wonder what it was I thought I was answering, or, what is an answer anyway? Standards and whatever b/s aside, Set your goal, talk positively about it to yourself, like you already have it, tell people about it, write it down, and watch as you achieve it and realize you didn't want it in the first place. LIfe is about getting dirty ,learning, and growing. If you spend your time looking out the windows at what you want, and wondering why you can't have it. You will wind up spending your life that way before you knew what happened. Is it just me, or does time seem to fly faster now as an adult than it did in childhood? thank you for reading this post, have a great day, pixie

Thanatosian -> RE: finding a suitable master (7/25/2004 12:07:45 PM)
quote: Is it just me, or does time seem to fly faster now as an adult than it did in childhood? not just you - when I was in elementary school, it was forever from start of school til christmas, and then another forever from after christmas to end of school/start of summer. now, the days and weeks and months just zip and zoom right by, and before you know it you ve gone from memorial day to christmas and back again if I remember correctly, this was discussed on another thread some time ago - or maybe it was one of those discussions we have at work (night shift has the most interesting discussions) - anywho, I recall someone saying that maybe the reason time seems to go faster as you get older is because you are no longer being exposed to new things, unlike when you are a child and just learning everything and being amazed at what goes on - something along those lines Apply usual caveats here

Asmodeus -> RE: finding a suitable master (7/27/2004 9:02:25 PM)
I actually met my partner online, on a vanilla dating site. We are a perfect match and deeply truely in love with each other (we moved in together this week, after seeing each other for over two years). We would never have met on a site like this; I'm a Dom, she's a Domme (and has a few years of ProDomme experience). If we had tried to connect in the BDSM world we would have had to deal with the extra crap that the lifestyle adds on top of relationships. Many of her scene friends assumed that she finally found a man she could submit to (how that for a sexist response that came from both men and women), most don't see how a Dom/Domme relationship can work out. We don't worry about labeling everything in our personal lives; I learned a long time ago that there are only certain things that are worth wasting energy on, and I'm techning my partner that. She's come a long way into self-realization that way. But she's still one nasty Domme; me, I'm just an evil sadist. We work well together :)

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