Xaria: thank you for your thoughts as well. I repeat, I never asked him to change. It was offered, he wanted to "take me on my journey", I know better than to ask someone to change. And I also repeat, the diffficult part is not so much that perhaps we were not right for one another, but that I was cut off TOTALLY and finally.
Forgive me if i'm wrong, but did he not cut you off "TOTALLY and finally" for a reason? That reason would be because you're unwilling to change for him. He changed for you, but you were far from willing to say "hey, he tried it my way, maybe i could ask for us to work slowly towards his wants". A relationship is about compromise at times, if not most of the time. Sometimes it's about doing things that you may not like or want to agree to. Submitting to someone isn't some "happy-happy-joy-joy" fantasy. It's about taking the good with the bad, growing and experimenting to find what makes each other happy. (i hope you can excuse my sleepy-time rambling...)
i guess that's what seperates a submissive and a slave. It has never been so apparent to me the difference between me as a slave, and you or others as submissives. i would do just about anything, even let Him push my hard limits because i trust Him to do it in a safe manor. It doesn't sound like you trusted or was willing to explore. Yes, it was your hard limit, but let's face it, it's not a hard limit like sex with children.
There are some hard limits that Dominants will want to press. i know someone that had a hard limit of blindfolds. Her Master pushed that limit and she overcome her fears of losing that control. Maybe he felt that he could help you open up to a new experience. Some people are not as open to trying something new that they don't see it making them happy. i didn't think i would ever be poly, because i was a very jealous person. i found out mine stemmed from a lack of self confidence. The more my Master worked with me, the easier it became for me. i faced the fact that i didn't feel secure in my place with Him and that i was afraid that someone better would take my place. He has since showed me a security i have never, ever had in my life for another man. i am more settled and happier. i also love to share this information in hopes that it helps others.
i just hope this helps you. i also hope you do find what you're looking for, but if i could press home my suggestion from before, please think on it. It's best not to sit trying to seek out answers from strangers about a man you say "betrayed you", when you obviously cared for him. Seek answers within yourself or heck, go back and talk to him rationally about it all. i know coming here asking others is what these boards are for, but there has to be a point that you find the answers within yourself. Try to savour what you felt was good about your relationship and learn from what you didn't like from it. Good or bad, we are always learning. And the bad tends to give us the best learning experiences of our lifetime. i wish you well.
xaria - Property of Xavier
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