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NakedOnMyChain -> RE: First time for everything (11/2/2007 12:23:13 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kittyinpink
I am very new to the BDSM lifestyle (in that I have no real experience), but have been trying to learn as much as possible.
I've been invited by a couple to visit a local dungeon with them and am very excited! I'm not planning on playing at all the first time. However, part of me wonders if I will really bennefit from being there since I haven't actually done anything yet.
So to streamline this post: Is it still good for me to go even if I have no experience? And for the future, would it be better for me not to play until I've had some experience with someone privately?
On a sidenote, some things I've been told for my first visit is to not touch anyone, to not play, and to expect other females to hate me (I guess since I'm 20).
Hey there! Welcome to the lifestyle! *drags out the welcome wagon*
I just went through something similar about a month ago. I've been in the lifestyle privately for about seven years, but was never formally trained. Recently I was offered the opportunity to go to a play party. Though frightened, I snapped the opportunity up. I had a fantastic time, though I didn't play that evening. I had such a great time that I'm going to a much bigger open party next week with a dominant and his two subs (yes, I have permission) and intend to join the group.
Having just gone through this my best advice to you would be to lay out your own parameters before you go to the party. But by all means, go to the party! Just make sure the couple is willing to look out for you a bit, making sure you're not freaking out, etc. Also make sure there is someone who isn't at the party who knows where you are and knows to call the the authorities if they don't hear from you at a predetermined time. I wouldn't recommend playing with anyone the first time, especially if you're not experienced with scening at all, and most especially if it's someone you've never met. I don't mean to be a party pooper, it's just that you have no idea how you will react to different stimuli and it's good to know how you'll handle things, up to and including the after-effects of the scene. What people are doing may look like fun, but you really can't have an accurate idea of how hard they're playing until you're up there doing it. That's why a bit of experience beforehand is best. My best recommendation would be to talk to the dominant in the couple you know in great detail about your preferences and ask him/her to demo some things on you. If you're comfortable with it, then you could probably play at the party quite safely if you stick to what you've gone over previously. I'm doing exactly that for the big play party coming up. I've never played with this particular dom, and though I trust him implicity and he tops my best friend, I'm not my best friend and won't react the same way she does. I need to know what my reactions are to what he'll be doing before I go do it in public. Therefore I'm driving to his house tomorrow with my best friend to do some pre-play and demo stuff to see how things go. It's really just a safety precaution to make sure I don't freak out. If there's some way you can work that out with him/her, it's really the best way to go if you want to play.
As far as general dungeon rules go, in my experience most scenes are open to watch at play parties, but it's always a good idea to ask if it isn't specifically stated. Sit or stand well away from the sceners and be as quiet as you can. If you need to talk, whisper. Save questions for after the scene, and don't interrupt. Other than that, learn, enjoy and have fun!
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