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submissive "look"? - 10/15/2007 5:11:55 PM

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From: The Asylum
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A few of my friends, who know Im a sub, have said to me that I dont appear submissive in public. So Im wondering, is there a certain way a sub is supposed to look?

For the record, my usual public appearence is a t shirt, usually from one of my favorite bands, a pair of jeans, and, this time of year, a leather jacket.

RE: submissive "look"? - 10/15/2007 5:19:20 PM

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Nope- and anyone who tells you is just entertaining their own silly ideas on being the center of the universe.

There can be a certain "sub dar" out there- but it's not universal. It's really not a good idea for anyone to suggest someone is or isn't a particular orientation based on any outward physical expression.

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RE: submissive "look"? - 10/15/2007 5:22:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

A few of my friends, who know Im a sub, have said to me that I dont appear submissive in public. So Im wondering, is there a certain way a sub is supposed to look?

For the record, my usual public appearence is a t shirt, usually from one of my favorite bands, a pair of jeans, and, this time of year, a leather jacket.

That's just ludicrous. Sometimes there is a look in an eye, a slight change in posture or stance, the way the person smiles that can clue you, but many submissives and slaves are spirited and strong people who just aren't like that, so expecting anything is ridiculous. Just be yourself.

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: submissive "look"? - 10/15/2007 5:23:08 PM

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Joined: 1/7/2007
From: Rochester
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Is there a certain way a bisexual is supposed to look?
Is there a certain way a Unitarian is supposed to look?
Is there a certain way a democrat is supposed to look?

I think you might see where I'm going here...

When it comes down to it, no. I might not LOOK submissive, but then again, does that matter? What matters is that I AM submissive, and I can serve no matter what I'm wearing.

If you really wanted to convey to everyone that you're a submissive you might go as far as to wear a collar or something...but I find those clash too much with general outfits...not to mention that most of us men honestly can't pull the look off without looking like a dork.
When it comes to profile pictures it does in fact help to have a few pictures portraying you as a submissive. But even then in my experience most Dominants are more interested in a decent head shot.

But in real life? Naaaah.
Wear whatever you want, it won't make you any more or less of a submissive.

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: submissive "look"? - 10/15/2007 5:23:49 PM

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From: The Asylum
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ok, thanks. I thought they were talking out of theyre asses, but I figured it better to ask just in case.

(in reply to SixFootMaster)

RE: submissive "look"? - 10/16/2007 12:30:53 AM

deliciousmorsel

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Joined: 9/22/2007
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People tell you so much weird stuff it'll make you crazy!
I'm submissive- all 6'2" of me in stilletto heels, black jeans, some shirt, and a studded motorcycle jacket. People in the Life think I'm Domme. I've been railed at by people who's business it isn't for going to dungeons in thigh high boots, a cocktail dress, and a big stunning peice of vintage rhinestones, I mean it's evening! The One I Adore thinks I look hot in those boots on a cross after I've shed the rest...
And that's the look- Naked.
Or in rope or cuffs.

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: submissive "look"? - 10/16/2007 12:44:20 AM

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From: Calgary, Canada
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Just to speak up as a Domme, Jinger is surprisingly correct. (For someone swinging half naked on a fence - splinters, ouch!)

As a Domme I am far more interested in a head shot. My boys wear jeans or trousers and a t-shirt or dress shirt, though I look forward to when their Utilikilts arrive (boys with good legs look dead sexy in kilts). It's how you behave that makes you submissive, and frankly you only have to behave that way to the one you serve.

Best of luck to you.
Lady Seraphina

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(in reply to deliciousmorsel)

RE: submissive "look"? - 10/16/2007 12:47:01 AM

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From: Nashville, TN
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Both my boys are jeans and teeshirt types. Do they look submissive? Not sure. They act it, wth me. Thats all that counts.

DV

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(in reply to LadySeraphina)

RE: submissive "look"? - 10/16/2007 4:54:10 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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From: Chicago, IL
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perhaps i should start putting my fashion design talent to some good use and design a submissive/slave collection for Project Runway sesaon 5

seriously - there's no definining "look" like there's no such thing as "twue" submissive/slave

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RE: submissive "look"? - 10/16/2007 5:02:04 AM

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Joined: 8/28/2007
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i know i look submissive when i'm with Sir, but that is a result of my behavior, not the way i'm dressed.

i work for myself and i know i have not the slightest air of submissiveness about me when i am with a client. If i did, i would have very few clients, most likely.

There's no way to tell who is in what role simply by the way they look.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

RE: submissive "look"? - 10/16/2007 5:34:51 AM

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I can't be seen in public in any clothing half way related to the scene or goth etc. If one of my clients saw me i'd be finished in my industry. So fashion all the way

(in reply to onmykneesb4Him)

RE: submissive "look"? - 10/16/2007 6:04:32 AM

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Definitely not. I am a crew chief working security in a uniform and handling a dockyard full of workers...d'ya think I look submissive? rofl In fact, one of my crew is excited about joining us because she thinks she can get some self-assertiveness training.

"Look" like a sub? Absurd.
"Act" like a sub? Absurd.
"Am" a sub? Most definitely.

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There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

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The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: submissive "look"? - 10/16/2007 6:14:13 AM

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Some people want to broadcast their involvement in bdsm, and their particular role at all times. For them, it may be a form of "advertising" just like I advertise myself when I wear a short skirt and tight top.

If it is important to you to advertise yourself as a submissive, then by all means... investigate how to "dress the role" in public, and fine-tune it with feedback from friends. If, on the other hand, it is not important to you... then accept your friend's well-meant advice with a kind word and continue as you were.

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: submissive "look"? - 10/16/2007 7:20:28 AM

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wear super tight jeans and an ass plug bigger than your fist at all times and that should do it.

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RE: submissive "look"? - 10/16/2007 8:20:02 AM

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Joined: 2/4/2007
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Well, generally speaking, if my shy gaze, sweet smile,
or the "I am a submissive slut" tee shirt isn't enough,
strolling through the mall on all fours, collared and
leashed usually is a dead give away. Now if I can
only find a way to keep the kiddies from running
up and petting me, all the while tugging on my ears
and pleading, "Can I ride it Mommy, can I, please"?

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: submissive "look"? - 10/16/2007 8:48:52 AM

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Joined: 10/2/2007
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This is a perfect example of what Hollywood porn has done to this wonderfull lifestyle. God how they have fucked it up.

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Submission is a gift unlike any other. The one who can sculpt that gift in a graceful manner is a Master.

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RE: submissive "look"? - 10/16/2007 2:56:44 PM

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Joined: 8/21/2007
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Absolutely not! You are your own person, with your own individual style. We all are. Everyone I've met before telling them I am a sub is always surprised to hear my orientation. Sometimes we are even dominant with everyone but our Master/Mistress. There is an entire spectrum of Dom(me)s, subs and switches that places absolutely no limit on appearance. Be you and love yourself!

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: submissive "look"? - 10/16/2007 3:56:36 PM

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Joined: 1/12/2007
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The only "look" a sub might have is the way they are told to dress by their Dom/me, and sometimes that doesn't even classify as a "look" other than being fashionable.
I agree with you LA.

(in reply to Kalari)

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