dagawdfather
Posts: 14
Joined: 1/28/2004
From: the left coast
Status: offline
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A blonde is like a pooltable, put a dollar in and she'll
rack your balls.
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Joke # 3
Higher power
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have
been learning how powerful kings and queens were in
Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody
tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"
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Q: What is the first thing a blonde learns when she
takes driving lessons?
A: You can also sit upright in a car.
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Joke # 4
Medical terminoligy
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all
the things around the house that he used to do. When
the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I
can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong
with me."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're
just lazy."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so
I can tell my wife."
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Joke # 5
Little Tommy Turtle
A little turtle begins to slowly climb a tree. After
long hours of great effort, he reaches the top, jumps
into the air waving his front legs frantically, until
he crashes heavily into the ground. After recovering
consciousness he starts to climb the tree again, jumps
once more, but again crashes to the ground.
The little turtle does this again and again, while all
the time his heroic efforts are being watched with sad-
ness by a couple of birds perched on a nearby branch.
Finally, the female bird says to the male bird, "Dear,
don't you think it's time to tell Tommy he is adopted?"
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Joke # 6
Baked beans and their delightful tune
A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but they
always had a somewhat lively effect on him. After he
met the woman of his dreams, he made the supreme sacri-
fice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine subjecting
his new wife to his beastly emissions. On his birthday,
his car broke down, so he called his wife and told her
he'd have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the
wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since
he was still a couple of miles from home, he figured
he could indulge, and then walk off any ill effects.
So he had three extra-large helpings of beans, and he
"put-putted" all the way home.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited.
She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful
surprise for you for dinner tonight!"
She blindfolded him, and led him to his chair at the
head of the table, making him promise not to peek. At
this point, he was beginning to feel another one coming
on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the
telephone rang and she went to answer it.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted
his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud,
but ripe as a rotten egg. He gasped and felt for his nap-
kin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to
feel better, when another urge came on. This one sounded
like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. He tried
flapping his arms, to clear the air. But another one snuck
out, and the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook,
and a minute later, the flowers on the table were dead.
When he heard his wife ending her conversation, he neatly
laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of
it. He was the picture of innocence when she walked in.
Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked
at the dinner. He assured her he had not, so she removed
the blindfold and yelled, "Surprise!!!"
To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests
seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.
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Q: What is a Dairy Queen
A: A gay milkman.
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Dairy Queen - 
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