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mentoring other submissives - 10/21/2007 4:30:09 PM

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From: The Asylum
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Does anyone here have a mentor that is a sub? Or mentor other subs?

I have a mentor. Hes been mentoring me for about a yeanr and 1/2 now, and I cannot thank him enough for all he has taught me and helped me with.

Personally, I think its absolutely benificial to have someone with experience on your end of the lifestyle helping you out. Just having that knowledge and wisdom, and having someone who cares for you as a friend.

RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/21/2007 4:46:40 PM

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As a sub, I mentored a domme with her first sub. Giving her advice and such about what was appropriate and what was not, as it was her first of more than just BDSM, but she had a leadership role.

I've never mentored other subs and at the time I got in as a sub as a younger teenager, it was the teenage boys I dated plus the internet that mentored me. I didn't know any other subs at the time. Rather, I didn't know how many of my friends were in the same boat. *grin*.

I have a good social network at my college and I suppose it's a mentoring situation. I'm graduating and I'm going to miss the support.

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/21/2007 5:19:44 PM

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some of the best lifestyle meetings i've attended have been sub's meetings where it was subs/slaves/bottoms/switches-in-sub mode and it was kept on topic to be a mentoring situation where we learned from eachother's experience...and no one was in charge...there was a facillatator...but not an authority figure...and we learned so much...

< Message edited by chellekitty -- 10/21/2007 5:20:04 PM >

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RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/21/2007 5:27:08 PM

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WE some times take one under our wings,just to get them started...

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RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/21/2007 5:30:49 PM

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I have a friend who is a sub that has been there for me to offer advice, support, and just someone to talk to in general. She and I knew each other before I became involved in the lifestyle--we worked together--and through a strange set of circumstances we became close friends shortly after I started my journey as a submissive. She wasn't an "official" mentor, but she has been there for me always. I think that is one of the best things a new submissive can do...find other submissives for friendship and advice. There were a few times that she helped me sort through emotions, questions, and concerns.

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RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/21/2007 7:25:55 PM

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Yes I do mentor submissives and slaves both. Not only does it keep me on my toes as far as the life choice goes but it gives me a chance to learn from the other person I'm mentoring.

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RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/21/2007 7:54:41 PM

ChainedExistence

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I wouldn't mind being a friend and a sounding board to someone, but I doubt I'd be a great mentor. What might be problematic for me, might be someone's else perfect cup of tea. I think you have to be careful imposing your own standards and expectations on someone else's relationship. I know I have to sometimes bite my tongue from commenting to something I read on here by telling myself it's not about me and it's not my job to change their point of view. (I have a tendancy to be quite opinionated and I have to temper that impulse from time to time.)I'm not the queen of submission, and my way is just my way-not anyone else's. I am still learning new things all the time myself. This isn't to say I wouldn't be a friend, I just wouldn't want them thinking of me as an authority on all things submissive.

(in reply to wisteriaV)

RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/21/2007 7:56:07 PM

slaverosebeauty

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Yes and yes.

My mentor is a slave that I have known for years; and I do mentor other bottom-types on occassion when asked. It makes more sence for a bottom type to mentor a bottom top and a top type to mentor a top type. Mentoring means supporting and guiding. I never considered a top mentor, its an oxymoron in my book. You learn from those who are in yuor same 'position' or who are in the position that you desire.

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RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/22/2007 3:43:48 AM

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i would love to be involved in a mentoring relationship. Unfortunately, i haven't been able to do that. i've only been involved in all this for less than 2 years, and it would be wonderful to have someone to discuss things with. Most of the munches in my area seem to have fallen by the wayside, and i haven't been able to figure another way to connect IRL.

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)

RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/22/2007 4:20:34 AM

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I have been known to give advice to guys looking to get into this life. http://slave2catwoman.blogspot.com/

(in reply to onmykneesb4Him)

RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/22/2007 1:36:12 PM

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I find that so many subs/slaves are willing to advise that i wouldnt need a formal mentor. I think its why i love these forums you get such a vast array of ideas and perspectives that you wouldnt get from just one person and which opens your eyes to other ideas. I have some really great subbie mates both male and female who have helped me loads and i can ask anything to and i have also been asked questions by newbies.

(in reply to slavekal)

RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/22/2007 1:47:21 PM

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When i first was introduced to the scene, my Sir and whatver books i could find were really my only tools i could use to learn about it. Now, however, over a year since i've been collared, i'm mentoring His secondary submissive, helping her understand & grow and what not. It's kind of interesting, and i know that she appreciates me taking time out of my own busy schedule to help her adjust & deal with any issues she may have. Kinda makes me wish i had had someone specific to go crying crazily too, instead of learning the hard way and being punished for it!

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RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/23/2007 4:01:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

I have been known to give advice to guys looking to get into this life. http://slave2catwoman.blogspot.com/

Holy cow dude, is that you?? Those lats are unbelievable.

(in reply to slavekal)

RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/23/2007 5:54:44 AM

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From: Upstate, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: silkenfire

I have a good social network at my college and I suppose it's a mentoring situation. I'm graduating and I'm going to miss the support.

Look in your local community for a TNG group. You will find lots of support there.

jen

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(in reply to silkenfire)

RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/23/2007 8:45:15 AM

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Ha! Thanks, Sixfoot. Yeah, that's me. Although at the moment, I could stand to drop a couple of inches off the waist. Eight or ten pounds, maybe.

(in reply to sammiebabygirl)

RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/23/2007 10:25:48 AM

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Joined: 8/1/2007
From: Arkansas
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In all honesty I think most responsable slaves (And Dom/mes for that matter) have a little bit of mentor in them. Most of us have seen it done wrong way too often to want to let it happen again if we can help it. At least I know that's how I feel about it.

(in reply to slavekal)

RE: mentoring other submissives - 10/23/2007 1:01:15 PM

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well i havd a mentoe who was a DOm but he had a sub and they bioth kinda mentored she could show me the sub side of things.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to JaehreksSlave)

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