Journalling

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Faramir -> Journalling (7/31/2005 6:25:17 PM)
How many of you are required by your "D" or "M" to keep a daily journal? If you do have this as a protocol, what are the parameters for you? I have s keep a daily journal, and it has worked well for us. One unexpected benefit is that if something happens to hurt her feelings or upset her, she can write it down and then let it go. She knows I will read it later, she has a chance to share how she feels in a respectful way, and that means she can just let go of what bugged her. I'm curious about other's experience in required journalling.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Journalling (7/31/2005 6:42:13 PM)
I keep a journal out of pure personal desire, though the Owner knows about it and encourages it but doesn't really care about it. He doesn't read it and doesn't want to, there's no expectation that he will read it or respond to it in any way. I find that can actually cause problems with journaling subs- they come to expect a response and then get upset when they don't receive one. Also I find there can be problems if subs and doms come to depend on them for discussion, rather than using them as launch pads for actual discussions. However, journals can certainly have their strengths if it works for you. For other threads on this topic: Journals Journal Writing Journals and more Submissive Journals Those journals

mossy -> RE: Journalling (7/31/2005 6:43:09 PM)
Yes absolutely Faramir that was exactly how it worked with my first Master and i. It also brought up wonderful opportunities for communication that otherwise would not have been there. It was a great experience for both of us. Yes it was an avenue for me to vent when needed. Sometimes He chose to discuss the issue, and others not. Yet He always seemed to know, of course, as any finely tuned healthy Master would, which issue was the one that really needed to be spoken of and which one could be left behind.

gretchen -> RE: Journalling (7/31/2005 6:48:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Faramir I have s keep a daily journal, and it has worked well for us. One unexpected benefit is that if something happens to hurt her feelings or upset her, she can write it down and then let it go. I don't keep a journal for the simple reason that I'm supposed to talk about whatever is bothering me up front. I have to learn to not block my self and forget, but to solve the issue with him right away (it kinda sucks if you ask my opinion).

dechala -> RE: Journalling (7/31/2005 8:01:18 PM)
i keep a private journal only for His eyes only.i write about everything from my experiences with Him to just plain poetry and stories.He doesn't require that i keep one but He reads and is immensly pleased by what i write [:)]

tigress31047 -> RE: Journalling (7/31/2005 8:38:37 PM)
I am not required to keep a journal although I do.. I starated it as a way to remeber my journey into bdsm when I first started researching. Master has read it at my request so that He could better understand where I came from and where I hope to go. I continue to write in it mainly out of habit.Sometimes I go back and read things from when Master and I first met and our our Fisrt meeting and our first playtime together.. I smile remembering how far I've come and how far I still have to go..I am not one who remebers details very well so journaling keeps those memories fresh and a part of me forever.

perfection20005 -> RE: Journalling (7/31/2005 9:24:44 PM)
I am requried to write an email, which I consider to be a daily journal, each day to my Master. He then can read it at his leisure. I do like doing it, as I have problems talking about my feelings still. It does help cut down on problems between us as he can ask me what about what I have wrote after I have thought some more on it. And I agree it does help me to let go of some things.

tinkJH -> RE: Journalling (8/1/2005 5:13:24 AM)
I am not required to keep one, But I do have one. It is a privilage for me. Master allows me to write freely, without fear of punishment, in my journal. He always reads it, as any entry I send is automatically sent to his email. Sometimes I need to write simply because at the time, I have so much I need to get out and I can't talk with Master just then - He's at work, Or the kids are still awake and its something they shouldnt be hearing. Of course, that doesn't mean I can write about how I hate him and call him names or curse. Like I said, my journal and the ability to write freely in it is a privilage. Master can and will take it away when he wishes or if he finds out I am abusing the privilage. However, I am allowed to vent, release my frustrations and ramble on about whatever I feel like. Which, I have before. Its just a secondary outlet of communication for me.

tabithaaz -> RE: Journalling (8/1/2005 7:01:02 AM)
i always had trouble writing regularly in one. i have never really been a writer. i guess i am to visual. my Former wanted me to keep a journal. there was times where i had a hard time coming up with something to write

slavedesires -> RE: Journalling (8/1/2005 9:39:52 AM)
i have always kept a journal...in a fire in my home Jan 2003...dozens of journals were lost and i grieved the lostness of them...why? becasue when i journal...i release myself...my thoughts, my emotions, my feelings....my subconsious becomes "out there" on paper and i see the words and realize what is inside of me...when i got my puter in 1997.... i kept a journal in files...but with repeated crashing...i began to blog my journal. if someone randomly finds my journal....oh well...they will see how fucked up i really am at times.... i have shared the address with only 4 people.... 2 random sub/slave strangers....one who i quote at times... and one who i should have never shared it with, my poor judgment, so i learned a valuable lesson. He has the address...if He reads it fine...if not, no big deal casue i end up telling Him anyway, usually. Its kind of like therapy for me...you say it, claim it and move on. There are many reasons for journaling....some Doms use it for learning more about there girls....... now what would be interesting is if a Dom journaled and allowed his girl to read his journal. Wonder how many doms would risk that sort of trust? ~~shy

Faramir -> RE: Journalling (8/1/2005 11:41:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: perfection20005 I am requried to write an email, which I consider to be a daily journal, each day to my Master. I thinkthat is very cool as well, but I think there is something special about a real, physical journal, pen to paper, and the longevity it holds. I wonder what it will be like to pull out an old journal in a few years and read what she wrote, see her handwriting, hear the echo of hear words in my mind's ear.

comesoncommand -> RE: Journalling (8/1/2005 1:25:06 PM)
i've always kept a journal for myself, and have even shared past journals with my Master (even those from my vanilla days ;) ). i'm a writer at heart, and love being able to put my feelings/thoughts onto paper. i do think a good point was made that not everyone functions in the same way, and if you are still having a hard time with the thought of writing something everyday (which i'll admit i don't do) perhaps you could ask your Master if you could draw instead of writing in your journal.

MstrHellsFury -> RE: Journalling (8/1/2005 2:48:01 PM)
this is way off topic for me as I've never required this type action...I'm just curious...is this something submissives would do without being required...or is it view as a way for the M/D to know about the sub/slave without having to sit daow na have a personal face to face...the personal interaction of asking questions and really listening to the answers given...I meant no offense here...I'm just asking out of curiousity... Fury

MstrHellsFury -> RE: Journalling (8/1/2005 2:55:08 PM)
looking at this I realize I've been the typo King again...please don't sent the teacher to correct me...I'm the Master..I need no correction...just more typing lessions...this is what happens when I'm not looking at the keys when I type fast...frown into a grin into a smile...

tinkJH -> RE: Journalling (8/1/2005 3:55:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrHellsFury this is way off topic for me as I've never required this type action...I'm just curious...is this something submissives would do without being required...or is it view as a way for the M/D to know about the sub/slave without having to sit daow na have a personal face to face...the personal interaction of asking questions and really listening to the answers given...I meant no offense here...I'm just asking out of curiousity... Fury I don't think a journal should replace face to face communication. But, I find it actually helps me communicate more. Especially if there is something I have a hard time saying, or expressing. I can release it all into the journal and then talk with Master about it afterwards. It helps me sort and define my feelings and my true thoughts without sitting there for a half hour stumped on words while Master waits for an answer to a question he might have asked. There have been times when there are things I just do not know how or what to respond with, and I have litterally just started crying because I was getting frusterated with myself. Also, its a great way to get things release, or "off your chest" when there are situations where face to face communication isn't possible, instead of bottling it all in. Its probably a good way for a Master/Dom and slave to comunicate and learn more of the private or mundane aspects of the sub's life while their relationship is o/l. Perhaps a way to feel closer.

comesoncommand -> RE: Journalling (8/1/2005 8:11:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tinkJH quote: ORIGINAL: MstrHellsFury this is way off topic for me as I've never required this type action...I'm just curious...is this something submissives would do without being required...or is it view as a way for the M/D to know about the sub/slave without having to sit daow na have a personal face to face...the personal interaction of asking questions and really listening to the answers given...I meant no offense here...I'm just asking out of curiousity... Fury I don't think a journal should replace face to face communication. But, I find it actually helps me communicate more. Especially if there is something I have a hard time saying, or expressing. I can release it all into the journal and then talk with Master about it afterwards. It helps me sort and define my feelings and my true thoughts without sitting there for a half hour stumped on words while Master waits for an answer to a question he might have asked. There have been times when there are things I just do not know how or what to respond with, and I have litterally just started crying because I was getting frusterated with myself. tink- i agree. Sometimes when there is something bothering me if i attempt to discuss it without being able to process a little first, then i end up stumbling and fumbling in an attempt to communicate my frustration/problem eloquently and respectfully. LOL...and a journal is also a great place for me to ramble, as my specific Master can grow tired of hour long stories to get to a two minute point ;) (guilty as charged small smile).

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Journalling (8/1/2005 8:43:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: comesoncommand It helps me sort and define my feelings and my true thoughts without sitting there for a half hour stumped on words while Master waits for an answer to a question he might have asked. There have been times when there are things I just do not know how or what to respond with, and I have litterally just started crying because I was getting frusterated with myself. tink- i agree. Sometimes when there is something bothering me if i attempt to discuss it without being able to process a little first, then i end up stumbling and fumbling in an attempt to communicate my frustration/problem eloquently and respectfully. LOL...and a journal is also a great place for me to ramble, as my specific Master can grow tired of hour long stories to get to a two minute point ;) (guilty as charged small smile). LOL I'm dealing with this with one of my VA boys now. That's what they made training for, eventually he will learn to speak clearly and quickly, directly and on point. Until then it's a LONG HARD haul of hemming hawing and roundabouts.

Faramir -> RE: Journalling (8/2/2005 10:49:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2 LOL I'm dealing with this with one of my VA boys now. That's what they made training for, eventually he will learn to speak clearly and quickly, directly and on point. Until then it's a LONG HARD haul of hemming hawing and roundabouts. You're confusing communication modalities with discipline. A person may well undergo training to instill discpline (intant, willing obedience to orders) so that they stay on task - answer a question directly, for example. That has nothing to do with the particular modality that best suits a given individual. For all my verbal adroitness, in many cases I do best to write when I wan to communicate with precision. For others, written communication will always be a morass, etc. One of the things I think EM2 and some others don't understand is that communication is not an either/or proposition. One form of communication does not obviate another - indeed, they may be complimentary.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Journalling (8/2/2005 10:56:03 AM)
quote: How many of you are required by your "D" or "M" to keep a daily journal? If you do have this as a protocol, what are the parameters for you? this slave is required to journal, pen(or pencil) to paper, 250 words per day, minimum. the exact parameter is.."included will be all infractions of thought or deed, questions, desires, ideas to please Master, fantasies, fears, frustrations, accomplishments, goals and progress towards goals. this is not limited to sexual or slave related things"

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Journalling (8/2/2005 11:02:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Faramir You're confusing communication modalities with discipline. A person may well undergo training to instill discpline (intant, willing obedience to orders) so that they stay on task - answer a question directly, for example. That has nothing to do with the particular modality that best suits a given individual. I didn't use the word discipline, I used the word training. Discipline is a part of training, but not the whole of it. And it has to do with the modality that best suits a given individual because I want him to use the modality that I prefer, whether it's their natural or current best mode or not. And knowing that it's not his natural or current best mode, I'm working on training him to learn the mode that I prefer and use it effectively. quote: One of the things I think EM2 and some others don't understand is that communication is not an either/or proposition. One form of communication does not obviate another - indeed, they may be complimentary. I never said that and am not sure why you think I don't understand it. But my point is that it doesn't matter what my communication form is- it matters what the Owner prefers it to be. With my VA beau, it doesn't matter what his communication form is, it matters what I prefer it to be. I accept that it will take a long time of training, a lot of bumps and scraped knees, but he has accepted this as part of being in a relationship with me and I fully intend to get him there, communicating in the way that I prefer best.

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