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RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 8:48:39 PM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43


I'm sure he thinks I'm not a true submissive. And I'm not when it comes to him. I'm submissive to one only. So I would certainly go on any list that said fake subs since there are various types who apparently can't read who sent me come-ons and got either no response or rude ones.



This ties in with a profile I only ran across today,  no names, and no identifying marks ... but this >> Unfortunately the women I've chatted with on here so far are disobedient and hardly submissive. UNACCEPTABLE. Only true submissives should contact me. <<  gave me a giggle.
Bet he's just rollin' in twue submissives

A black list wouldn't work for the simple reason that the people I click with, others don't and people they click with I don't. That dosn't automatically make one eligible for the dreaded BL, and My arsehole is Your dream Dom\sub\switch\dogwalker whatever.



_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.



(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 9:14:30 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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what ever fails to realize is we are on some list some where the FBI and the CIA have your name for every thing you have done that is one the net in some way. yes there are very evil people among us. how do we know some say just trust your gut. then some  you never know till it is to late. Dance with caution

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 9:22:58 PM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
When I start doing something I'm ashamed of, or have reason to be paranoid about, thats when I'll start stressing over the FBI, CIA and the rest of the alphabet.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 10:19:12 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Dear Squeakers, Ladies and Gentlemen,
 
I will have to state, that I do not agree with any form of a Black List.  All one has to do is look back through history and civilization/society; to which a mass of individuals are pitted against another mass of people and it leads to war, conflict, ethnic cleansing, death, injuries to the spirit, mind, body and or emotions--the BDSM society is just a smaller version of the national society and that is a smaller version of a global society.
 
I feel it wrong to make BDSM a field for competition, political struggles, popularity conflicts and the negatives to which could be endless.
 
There have been too many individuals who have tried to be the 'authority' of who and or who is not this or that (dominant, submissive, Master, Mistress, slave, etc) is true or not, etc.  It takes on the appearances of vigilante justice where the scales for fairness are severely tipped at the disadvantage of those targeted.  It takes on the appearances of a dictatorship where a select class wipes out an entire counter culture, not so much different from a 'cleansing' because they are not like the ones who seek obliterating those who exist and just want a peaceful life like any other.  We see this through civilization-history in many realms.  Race cleansing in African countries, in Europe in World War II, the religious cleansing' during the Inquisition and the Crusades.  So many examples exist to tell the dangers of being selective as a culture and or a society/community.  Yet, human kind has been charged with good sense, a sense of fairness and using far more evidence that mere personal displeasure, personal conflicts, prejudices, bias and such.  We, in a general sense strive for what is right/fair/just/positive and to keep guard over what is negative and what is in plain evidence what is just a prejudice/bias of a few people.
 
I agree with previous postings that those 'wanting to be' have an extremely hard time and often are treated unfairly.  There is often a need to be reminded that starting out new anywhere requires a chance and fairness.
 
There is no magic/magick potion that gives people instant knowledge/skills and the like.  It requires time and first hand experiences.  It takes the kindness of others to share with others, as to guide people away from mistakes and have an easier go of it.  It has been sad to see where advice asked, is subjected to unkind responses and really not on the topic being disagreed but more in response to the style or substance of the responding posters.  I have faith still, that there can be disagreements without being disagreeable and not making it a means of public ridicule and or a form of humiliation.  It is wonderful to have Internet forums like this as to seek information independent of local or selected individual's personal opinion/view and beliefs on the matter.  It really boils down to an individual's responsibility to make adult choices for what is best for them and or their relationships.
 
That said, it cannot be said enough.  Books, writings, demonstrations, presentations, mentoring, teaching and or practices are 'individualized' and tailored to those individuals.  We, in general are 'our' own captains to our destiny/goal and or happiness--not any group, any other individual(s) and or any written and oral dissertation.  Opinions are like stars--there are plenty to choose from and or make.  Pick what works for you--the individual.
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

< Message edited by LadyHugs -- 10/22/2007 10:21:23 PM >

(in reply to Squeakers)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 10:56:44 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

what ever fails to realize is we are on some list some where the FBI and the CIA have your name for every thing you have done that is one the net in some way. yes there are very evil people among us. how do we know some say just trust your gut. then some  you never know till it is to late. Dance with caution


wow...you sure are paranoid...been doing something you shouldn't be?

i was being watched by the men in suits....don't think i am anymore...am i? (email me if you are lol) but my only crime was dating someone who committed a major internet crime way back before he met me...so i am not worried....


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/23/2007 4:40:11 AM   
Goddess20


Posts: 73
Joined: 7/12/2007
From: Birmingham, England
Status: offline
On Collarme we already have that, its called the bock button!

If we start 'blacklisting' people by our standards we could be stopping another user from communicating with someone they may actually have wanted to speak to.

'One mans rubbish is another mans treasure'

Or for the purposes of the thread

'One Dommes wannabe is another Dommes slave.'

We could scare off newbies who could be mistaken for wannabes. Maybe they could come on here wanting to learn and explore and you brand them a wannabe and they are put off by the BDSM scene because they are classed as outcasts before typing they first post!

True, fakes are annoying but push the block button and they are gone and if the problem persists report them. Its not difficult and doesnt stop other people missing out.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/23/2007 6:40:32 AM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline
I agree with the majority of dissenting viewpoints on "blacklists"

(in reply to Goddess20)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/23/2007 9:14:49 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

what ever fails to realize is we are on some list some where the FBI and the CIA have your name for every thing you have done that is one the net in some way. yes there are very evil people among us. how do we know some say just trust your gut. then some  you never know till it is to late. Dance with caution


wow...you sure are paranoid...been doing something you shouldn't be?

i was being watched by the men in suits....don't think i am anymore...am i? (email me if you are lol) but my only crime was dating someone who committed a major internet crime way back before he met me...so i am not worried....



um do not twist this into a me thing it is about common sense logic.  It is not like the go out in suits or watch your every move.  do not have to. if you pay attention you will notice a lot of things. 

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/23/2007 9:21:00 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

what ever fails to realize is we are on some list some where the FBI and the CIA have your name for every thing you have done that is one the net in some way. yes there are very evil people among us. how do we know some say just trust your gut. then some  you never know till it is to late. Dance with caution


wow...you sure are paranoid...been doing something you shouldn't be?

i was being watched by the men in suits....don't think i am anymore...am i? (email me if you are lol) but my only crime was dating someone who committed a major internet crime way back before he met me...so i am not worried....



um do not twist this into a me thing it is about common sense logic.  It is not like the go out in suits or watch your every move.  do not have to. if you pay attention you will notice a lot of things. 


Only the guilty need fear?

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/23/2007 9:50:35 AM   
Pernicious


Posts: 67
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline
You can’t fake desire.

Some people have the desire to talk about fakes. I’ve named this new subsection of our community the ‘fake fetish’. People with fake fetish get turned on by talking about how fakes, players and wotnot have ruined their life and made it intolerable.

You are not a real part of the community until you have vomited from the largest orifice in your face an endless spew of stories about heartbreak, suffering and loss at the hands of a fake, player or wannabe.

< Message edited by Pernicious -- 10/23/2007 9:51:39 AM >


_____________________________

- ﮎﮎﮎﻯscяεam4mε -

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/24/2007 3:47:27 PM   
LostMyself


Posts: 72
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
on alt.com (which, or course, is more of a hookup site) people who have met can leave testimonials of experiences with others.. They'd be positive ones, the person can delete them, but it does kind of let you know someone has met them and isn't chopped up in the freezer..

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/24/2007 6:36:32 PM   
rmanrr


Posts: 358
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline
Greetings
just a word of remembrance....blacklisting/outing suspected communists during the McCarthy era...do any of you really remember the fallout over that bs? Christ....those who click with some do not with others...for someone there is someone...I was called a fake and a bullshitter by one here, and you know what? she is now one of My best friends having seen and discussed with Me a lot over the last year...and she is not My girl...heh heh. My girl knows who I am, I am still discovering what and who I am as I evolve through this life. To instantly judge someone because they did something you did not like, well, get a life and find someone you connect with. nuff said? yep! (post in general and not in response to any particular poster above.)


_____________________________

Be Well, Be Careful

Jarl Rmanrr

"the road untravelled is the loneliest." Me
Courage...the ability to overcome obstacles during the course.
"to be insane is to be original!"...Me

(in reply to LostMyself)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/24/2007 7:16:22 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

quote:

Why isn't there a list where we can out the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes'?


Out here in the bay area, all pro Domme and submissives are reviewed by the users at www.myredbook.com. In fact, a review of all local professional workers is available at that site, no matter their orientation.

There's nothing stopping us from adding a review of collarme users to those reviews - but it would be seem to be more appropriate to create our own, perhaps similar section here on collarme for all users to benefit.



Put it on the list somewhere else, my friend, that list will never make it on this site.  For illustration's point, how would you feel if you were the first name on that new list if it was to go here?  What would stop it from being so?


Edited to add:  reading halfway through the thread, I should have known in advance that Mod11 would have answered you already...DOH!!

< Message edited by kc692 -- 10/24/2007 7:24:48 PM >


_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/24/2007 7:29:03 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LostMyself

on alt.com (which, or course, is more of a hookup site) people who have met can leave testimonials of experiences with others.. They'd be positive ones, the person can delete them, but it does kind of let you know someone has met them and isn't chopped up in the freezer..


We have something similar to that too, it's in the positive experiences thread under introductions.

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to LostMyself)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/24/2007 7:41:10 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
i had several dominants that i just really didnt click with.  we talked for a while, including phone, and met up with a few...but they just werent what i was looking for.  i was polite and honest about my feelings, and only had one be angry with me.  he instant messaged me a few times accusing me of lying about being with Daddy.

i knew the truth, i just answered "as you wish" and clicked off the message.  no drama, i wasnt going to enter an argument that wasnt resolvable.  he was sure i was lying just to get out of being with him, and it wouldnt have mattered WHAT i said.

thing is?  he's a perfectly nice man.  he just isnt for ME.  and i had one other accuse me of being a fake because i *gasp* dont like doing some of the things he liked doing.  nope, still real, just not interested in those things.

to me, blacklisting only works for local type groups, and only in the aspect of "this person has a criminal history, be aware of this" situations.  cause one person's harsh abuser might be another's knight in shining armor.

kitten, whose Daddy is a perfect fit to her, and vice versa

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/25/2007 12:15:37 AM   
LadyLegs


Posts: 176
Status: offline
I have found the best way of avoiding the dishonest people is to get to know the folks in your local community and just let people know what you are doing before you get involved.  Comments like "he would be a good friend" or "his wife is lovely"  tell you all you really need to know.

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.
Eleanor Roosevelt
US diplomat & reformer (1884 - 1962)

(in reply to adoracat)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/25/2007 12:40:02 AM   
iwannapullurhair


Posts: 283
Joined: 10/11/2005
Status: offline
The problem with a list is that people with grudges or people that got rejected would be putting real people on the list. Sometimes you see the professional photo and the person has no limits and you know they are fake and that sucks, but a shit list probably wouldn't screen out the fakers anyway, they'd find someway to get on here and annoy us.

(in reply to LadyLegs)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/25/2007 12:57:53 AM   
GMRTGS


Posts: 47
Joined: 8/29/2005
Status: offline
Here,here spanklette. I could not agree more.I know first hand lmow how someone who has  hidden agenda,vengence, can endanger and out right destroy you life both in this commnity and  in the vanilla world.

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/25/2007 2:05:29 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pernicious

You can’t fake desire.

Some people have the desire to talk about fakes. I’ve named this new subsection of our community the ‘fake fetish’. People with fake fetish get turned on by talking about how fakes, players and wotnot have ruined their life and made it intolerable.

You are not a real part of the community until you have vomited from the largest orifice in your face an endless spew of stories about heartbreak, suffering and loss at the hands of a fake, player or wannabe.


Haha, so true.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to Pernicious)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/25/2007 6:47:42 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline
i don't think there really needs to be a need for a black listing others, though i have known a club that uses some sort of system like that on their site. But the list will always be long, and who's going to take the time to read the list to see if anyone their talking to is on it?

(in reply to Squeakers)
Profile   Post #: 80
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