petdave -> RE: "service" (10/22/2007 7:29:51 PM)
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ORIGINAL: Politesub53 i think most submissives are in the lifestyle to fullfill a need, be it sexual or just the need to serve and be seen to be pleasing. No one offers to serve, without there being some type of reward, ranging from an inner feeling of contentment, to maybe some sexual or bdsm play. Even submissives who say " i just love serving " are still doing it to fill their deep need to serve. See, that's the flipside of the "you're not really a service sub!" thing that tends to get my goat... While i agree that it is disingenuous/profoundly naive for a male to position himself as a "sexual service only" sub to a Female Dominant, i think that the "no-strings-attached housework" Domme is in the same fantasy world... Even if that "string" is verbal correction when a job is done poorly, there's something. i do get some satisfaction out of just seeing the house clean and not a disaster, but the occasional physical reward or punishment for the job done is much more satisfying [:)] Waiting for a stranger to come mow your lawn for absolutely nothing, out of the tens of millions of lawns in America, could be a long wait. Unless he does have a magic lawnmower (! [:D]) quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus While driving to work, it occurred to me that of COURSE men equate sex with service---if you were a guy, what would be more important to you, getting a blow job, or making sure that the laundry got folded? I think it comes down to an essential difference in priorities, if not outright needs. That's a good point. It's also worth considering that there is a cultural stereotype that "the average guy"- you know, the one who watches lots of sports with his buddies, drinks beer, enjoys fart jokes, etc.- is an inconsiderate, selfish, and/or inadequate lover, and that there are women who have sexual needs that are not being met because they're not being given enough priority in the bedroom. Now, maybe it's just on cartoons and stuff since that's all i usually watch on TV, but i swear i'm not making it up! Somebody out there is selling the idea that women are sexual creatures! It's all the media's fault! [&:]
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