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RE: male submission - 10/25/2007 3:56:26 PM

laurell3

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lol yeah sorry, I'm asking the OP, you just happened to be the poster in front of me.
l

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Post #: 21

RE: male submission - 10/25/2007 4:02:05 PM

luciousmaria

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This is one of the most interesting threads I have read on collarme.

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Post #: 22

RE: male submission - 10/25/2007 4:15:37 PM

AFlyInYourWeb

Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

Do you see submission as a weakness in yourself or a strength?
Do you consider yourself a wimp?

I see my submission as a strength and an asset.

I see myself as no less "manly" than vanillas, Doms or switches.

I have "had my ticket punched" on most of the Standard Male Qualifying Roles: soldier, husband, father, business owner, community leader.

If I am a "wimp", I am a well-camoflauged one

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RE: male submission - 10/25/2007 4:22:16 PM

CdnExplorer

Posts: 227
Joined: 2/12/2007
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There was a time when I did think my desire for submission was a weakness, but that was back when my only contact with the lifestyle was the ridiculous porn you find online. That created a bit of congitive dissonance because I'm anything but weak. In fact I'd call myself downright stubborn at times, and don't let anyone push me around. I avoid conflict whenever possible but find it extremely difficult to back down if things come to a head. So no, I don't consider myself a wimp.

I don't really see submission as either a weakness or a strength anymore. After finding my local scene and being able to talk to some real people I started to get some perspective on it all, and what the root of my submissive desire is. Basically I have a huge need to please and be vulnerable to one special person. It's a relationship thing and not really a character trait I think. Personal fulfillment gained from it could be seen as a strength I suppose, but nothing different from what can be found in a vanilla relationship. That is, if that's the kind of thing you really long for.

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Post #: 24

RE: male submission - 10/25/2007 6:10:49 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
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Kind of both. Every hetero man is vulnerable and weak in the face of female beauty. Submissive males, like myself, recognize and enjoy the power women have over us. That is our strength.

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RE: male submission - 10/25/2007 6:12:08 PM

IdiotMale

Posts: 132
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I agree 100%

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Post #: 26

RE: male submission - 10/25/2007 6:36:21 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
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Ah, fair enough.
i consider my submission to be a major weakness. i wouldn't use the word "wimp" to describe myself because i think that word has too many connections to physical properties that i do not posesss. However, i think it's fair to say that i'm a doormat, milquetoast, and/or a loser, and that being submissive contributes in a significant way to these descriptors.
Betta?

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RE: male submission - 10/25/2007 6:38:56 PM

bostontwo

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I see it as a strength. After going through a bit of CBT, other day-to-day problems seem pretty small by comparison. It's kind of like Fight Club.

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RE: male submission - 10/25/2007 10:10:08 PM

carly2day

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Joined: 7/20/2007
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I think my submissive sissy nature is a great strenght for me. I am energized by my secreat desires everyday.
In my youth I was a hippie biker, who wore panties,and we were not wimps.

Being submissive may be a strenght for many people,both men and women.
I have friends that have their shit together,and are submissive females.

I live to please and be a wimp for dominating females. Peace

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RE: male submission - 10/25/2007 10:22:25 PM

silkenfire

Posts: 130
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I'm not a male sub but...

I have a male friend that has a very hard time dealing with being a sub and finds it very shameful and unnatural.

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RE: male submission - 10/26/2007 7:12:08 AM

lateralist1

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I asked for male subs only to reply because they seem to be less represented on the message boards than fem subs.
Plus it is important to me at the moment to understand male submission because I am looking for a male slave.
I can't dominate that which I don't understand.
Of course submission like domination is personal but there does seem to be some common themes.

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Post #: 31

RE: male submission - 10/26/2007 7:33:49 AM

youngsubgeoff

Posts: 900
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From: The Asylum
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Kind of both. Every hetero man is vulnerable and weak in the face of female beauty. Submissive males, like myself, recognize and enjoy the power women have over us. That is our strength.

Our strength is the ability to cut away denial and ego... sounds about right to me.

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Post #: 32

RE: male submission - 10/27/2007 4:07:19 AM

lateralist1

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Thankyou CdnExplorer your explanation is exactly how I see submission.
It's about finding the right relationship and that for you will be with a dominant woman.
I know the right relationship for me will be with a man who is submissive to me and noone else. And he will love BDSM with me and no one else.
Maybe I ought to be looking in the vanilla world but then we come across the issue of corruption. Lots of people don't seem to mind but I do.
So the next question of course is would you teach your children about BDSM?
My answer is yes I would at the appropriate time.
I believe that it is the duty of a parent to teach their children everything about life that they can. But to leave it up to the person to decide, when they are old enough, actually what in life they experience for themselves.

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Post #: 33

RE: male submission - 10/28/2007 7:51:03 AM

Rockbound

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From the standpoint of one who considers himself an SM bottom rather than a D/s sub:

I see submitting to a top as an act of strength -- enduring pain for the pleasure and satisfaction of the top.

There's definitely nothing wimpy about it. Wimps don't volunteer to be tortured.

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RE: male submission - 10/28/2007 10:50:17 AM

slaveken

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I consider myself very submissive. I believe its a strength of character to give up my freedom to her and obey her wishes. I am very ordinary outside of my submissive relationship, not wimpy at all, I think many Dom's have this impression though.

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RE: male submission - 10/28/2007 11:15:54 AM

Politesub53

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I consider it a strength, i admit what i am while it would be easier, much much easier, to act the sterotype male. I am capable of protecting who i am with, and i am not submissive to just anyone. This is a private side to me, 24/7 with the right person.

I am what i am, yet i think everyone is a little different and all of us can be complex.

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Post #: 36

RE: male submission - 10/29/2007 2:49:29 AM

spirit1975

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I dont consider it either a strength or weakness just part of me and my personality.

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RE: male submission - 10/29/2007 7:14:12 AM

lateralist1

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Thankyou rockbound for explaining the difference between a bottom and a sub.
With a chest like that slaveken your definietly not ordinary lol.
Thankyou politesub53 for emphasising the privacy angle which maybe very important to other submissives. I'm 'out' so I make sure that fact is understood.
Thankyou spirit1975 I put you in the need to be needed catergory. Which as you say, is just who you are, but in todays world of social isolation and selfishness it is I think a strong, rare, valuable character trait.
By the way your answers are all helping me a great deal.

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RE: male submission - 10/29/2007 8:37:58 AM

CdnExplorer

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I don't think I'd teach my kids about bdsm in the same way that you'd approach the birds and the bees. The question of how to handle a D/s relationship with unmentionables in the picture is a big one really. If at some point they asked, after they were mature enough to understand adult relationships, I'd be honest and try to answer any questions they might have. I think actively bringing it up might slant their perception a bit and make them think they have to be like their parents. I want to be a role model, but I would also want my kids to figure about what they need to be happy without my influence.

Plus I don't think it would be right to even gently / unintentionally nudge them along this path, given how many of us from time to time wish we could turn it all off and be normal. It's never worked out for me, and only resulted in more stress.

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RE: male submission - 10/29/2007 12:50:02 PM

liks2plzlf

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In response to the op,(still haven't figured out how to reply to a specific person), I do not consider myself a wimp, and my desire to submit to a woman, does not make me weak. But I consider it a weakness. Beautiful eyes, smile,or perhaps beautiful feet, and certainly a dominant woman, are a weakness for me as well. I would not be able to resist doing what "they" wanted. May as well ad chocolate to the list also

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Post #: 40