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RE: male submission - 11/16/2007 12:24:52 PM

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Hey thanks gregor2001us that's just what I wanted.
I know that control turns subs on BUT what I never understand is what sort of control. I don't 'play' I control all the time.
No I'm not a control freak. There are far more controlling people in vanilla life than me. What I mean is that I like to make the major decisions for a sub/slave and of course teach him how to please me and do sadistic things to him when I want to. So basically if we are together he never knows what I might do. When we are apart he knows my rules of how he is to conduct himself. And if he is unsure then he checks with me. Of course I like to make my control fun for both of us but there is an underlying seriousness about the whole thing. I am teaching him how to be the best person he can be through what he enjoys. Is that the sort of thing anyone looks for? If not I'm really wasting my time lol

(in reply to gregor2001us)

RE: male submission - 11/17/2007 2:11:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1
Do you see submission as a weakness in yourself or a strength?

I see it in a variety of ways. Part of the enjoyment of submission is submitting to your own weakness for dominant women, in that regard it is a weakness. It's also erotic to feel weak, but this is itself not a weakness as much as an invitation to it. I also see through experience that it's not easy to submit beyond casual play, so it takes a strength of character to admit that you need a dominant woman not only because they turn you on, but because you need their guidance and control. In that sense it requires a lot of will power and strength to be denied your fantasies or to have your behavior scrutinized and controlled by another person.

I would say it is very much the same for dominant people, though. Part of it is the enjoyment of succumbing to their need to be in control, which could be seen as a weakness, and part of it is taking responsibility for another person - which is stressful and requires sacrifices on their part - which is a strength. It does, however, illustrate that the idea of weakness in submissives is mostly implied because of our position and fantasies of feeling weak.

A lot of submissive believe themselves to be weak, and they might be, but it doesn't come from being submissive and being submissive doesn't come from weakness, although it does play a part in the tableau of submission.

(in reply to lateralist1)

RE: male submission - 11/17/2007 2:39:14 PM

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To me, more than a strength or weakness, i see it as simply allowing myself to be myself.
unravel

(in reply to lateralist1)

RE: male submission - 11/18/2007 3:29:00 AM

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Thankyou simplyserves. I think that you have explained something that worries me about male submission which doesn't seem as prevalent in female submission. This need to submit to all dominant women which seems to be inherent in the idea of female supremacy.
I believe that women could be better at being the dominant ones in modern society rather than men because of the nature of modern society. There is no longer so much need to hunt and kill as there has been in the past. The physical challenges are not so prevalent as the need for caring and nuturing and compromise. Which women tend to be better at than men. Even politicians are beginning to see the need for negotiation rather than fighting. The world is becoming a much smaller place and to live in it in peace and becoming it's guardians for future generations rather than raping it for our own individual greed has finally taken hold of the hearts and minds of a lot of people.
To do this men and women have got to work together just as they do in a good heterosexual relationship.Constant in fighting does no one any good.
I doubt there are many dominant women who want their man to be submissive to all women. They might possibly share him but that is a very different thing.

(in reply to simplyserves)

RE: male submission - 11/18/2007 3:35:09 AM

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Well done unravel. That's how I think about my dominance.
However it is quite difficult to explain who that is because we are complex and we change as we grow.
On the surface I am nothing like the person I was five years ago and I will probably be very different in five years time.
So in a relationship I have to make sure that my partner grows with me or enevitably we grow apart.

(in reply to unravel)

RE: male submission - 11/19/2007 12:24:08 AM

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quote:

Do you see submission as a weakness in yourself or a strength? Do you consider yourself a wimp?

I don't really see it as either, i just see it as a part of me.

Not really, I take a lot of pain

(in reply to lateralist1)

RE: male submission - 11/19/2007 5:04:41 AM

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Ok so I will start another thread about pain soon.
It looks as if we have a sort of agreement between male subs that being a wimp is about how little physical pain you can take.
However for me it's a lot more than that.
Taking physical pain is actually quite easy and in my view it doesn't make you a better man.
What isn't easy to take is emotional pain.
Knowing that you significant other needs someone else to fulfil her completely.
So poly to me is the most submissive of situations to be in.
And of course I'm not talking about just sex or BDSM.
I'm talking about caring, sharing relationships.Meeting everyones hierarchy of needs.

(in reply to subboi3382)

RE: male submission - 11/19/2007 12:11:42 PM

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Boys: you are beautiful!

(in reply to lateralist1)

RE: male submission - 11/20/2007 6:54:33 AM

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Now Baroque what man isn't going to be submissive to you lol.?
If it were possible I might even go there myself.
However as it's not how do you fancy becoming my sub?
Could you be interested in kidnap and rape by any chance?
Hope my honesty doesn't offend you.

(in reply to Baroque)

RE: male submission - 11/20/2007 8:25:50 PM

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I believe that submission is something we who take this journy wish to do. I is not as a result of being weak or wimp. In fact i fine that many who refer to submissives as weak or wimpish are those who do not understand D/s . Submission takes great inner strength and self understanding. the ego of male and self are set aside in order to give over control to another . this in my view is not the act of weakness as it applies to me . I do not serve anyone who wishes to "BOSS" me around only those i respect and trust with my gift of submission .

(in reply to lateralist1)

RE: male submission - 11/21/2007 9:37:21 AM

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Thankyou preysub. However there are lots of vanilla women who would appreciate your gift of submission. So there must be something that you need back from a Domme rather than a dominant woman.
I like vanilla submissive men but it is not enough they have to be very kinky as well. But then as you indicate it has to be about the right person not just the fact they are submissive or the fact that they are kinky. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

(in reply to preysub)

RE: male submission - 11/21/2007 1:00:44 PM

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For me its only game of fun , what I like . I dont see any weakness on my strenght or anything like that .

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: male submission - 11/21/2007 1:58:02 PM

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I'm glad you enjoy it Slavor.
But what do you enjoy?
The games or a relationship with a woman who likes her own way all of the time?

(in reply to Slavor)

RE: male submission - 11/21/2007 2:18:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: simplyserves

A lot of submissive believe themselves to be weak, and they might be, but it doesn't come from being submissive...

I like this quote. That's been my experience from the submissive men I've met.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to simplyserves)

RE: male submission - 11/21/2007 2:19:28 PM

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Eh - woman who likes her own way all of the time? - how do you mean it ? I enjoy games .

(in reply to lateralist1)

RE: male submission - 11/22/2007 10:34:59 AM

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I love games as well slavor but as a dominant woman I like to get my own way all of the time because my way is the best way for me and my partner.

(in reply to Slavor)

RE: male submission - 11/22/2007 10:48:19 AM

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Hey thanks Misstoyou. I missed that one thanks for pointing it out.
Lots of men are weak but when they embrace their submission they become a lot stronger.
I wondered why I kept getting messages from Doms.
Perhaps that's the answer.

(in reply to Misstoyou)

RE: male submission - 11/22/2007 12:17:39 PM

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quote:

I love games as well slavor but as a dominant woman I like to get my own way all of the time because my way is the best way for me and my partner.

yes , I understand , but some types of BDSM ... what slave dont like ( hate ) he may say before .. And I want from partner to use ways safety , or safe ways without permament injuries .

(in reply to lateralist1)

RE: male submission - 11/22/2007 9:26:49 PM

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It's either, neither, or both. For the most part, it's a personal preference, not a strength or a weakness.

(in reply to lateralist1)

RE: male submission - 11/23/2007 1:37:51 AM

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From: Orlando, FL
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I see it as neither a weakness nor a strength. It's just the way I am. I draw strength from it at times, and it has betrayed me at times. It makes my relationships so much more rewarding, now that I know what I am...and has, in the same stroke, made it much more difficult to find prospective parthers by considerably narrowing the field.

As with anything, there are good and bad points; I'm not able to change it, so I simply take the good with the bad. Besides, the good is simply amazing. *smiles* I wouldn't change it for the world.

Just my $0.02...

(in reply to lateralist1)

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