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probablyknowme -> 29 ways (10/25/2007 4:17:20 PM)
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This was posted on my local groups' message boards...thought that I would share it with y'all.
29 ways a sub should *not* break the rules
1. Pushing limits does not mean making Master so angry that the
vein over His right eye throbs.
2. "Quit it, OW,Dammit" or "i'm hiding that toy when You go to work
tomorrow" and cursing a blue streak are not safe words.
3. "Oh my God, where did You get those? They are gorgeous", is not
considered boot worship.
4. "Ya want fries with that?" or "You want me to drink it to for Ya?"
are not approriate remarks when Master gives You an elaborate drink
order.
5. Flipping your Master off when your hands are cuffed behind your
back is not a good idea. Owners have a way of knowing these things.
(might i add...its NEVER a good idea! lol)
6. Putting loob, goop, superglue, ink or any other substance that will
sully the mood of Master setting up for a session, is not a good idea.
7. Kicking the toy you hate under the bed is futile. Master will only
secure your wristcuffs to your anklecuffs and make you crawl for it,
repeatedly. (this is true)
8. "Bite me" is never an intelligent response to a command. (ohhh but
if you love to be bit...*WEG*)
9. Doing your Beavis and Butthead imitation of "Fire, fire, fire!"
during Masters lecture on fireplay safety is considered rude.
10. Responding with "Yes, All Wise, All Knowing, Grand Imperial
Weenie" is not appropraite when Master asks you if you are
comfortable during a bondage scene.
11. Asking to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes, while Master
practises His Japanese rope work on you, will try His
patience.... quickly.
12. Crossing your eyes and sticking your tongue out while Master is
discussing your punishment, is not wise.(lol im not even going
there.lol)
13. There is no such time as slave immunity, free slave day or PMS
defense.The slave dury might not convict you, but the Dom Judge will
override the verdict. Count on it!!!
14. Pretending Masters collection of buttplugs are toys and singing
"Weenies Wobble But They Wont Fall Down" song, is not a good idea.
(ROTFLMAO)
15. Repeatedly blowing out each candle Master lights during wax play
*will* get you punished.
16. Checking Masters Head for the 666 symbol after a harsh punishment
will only get you more of the same....or worse! (THIS i know to be
true)
17. "i know You are but what am i?" is not the appropriate response
when called a "raunchy little whore" during humiliation play.
*giggles*
18. Using spreader bars, paddles or canes for the fireplace is not a
good plan. *shrugs innocently*
19. "Missed me missed me, now You gotta kiss me" is an unacceptable
remark when Masters flogger slips. (i thought i was the only one who
did that)
20. When Master pulls out His bullwhip and says He wants to play, that
doesn't mean hide-and-seek… .He WILL find you eventually. (Yup)
21. Calling Merry Maids when you are ordered to spruce up the place,
is not what Master had in mind. (guilty...but only once and it wasnt
merry maids lol)
22. "Faster faster we need a new Master" is NOT the song to sing
during a scene.
23. "Oh and You think I am" is an unacceptable response in hearing
Master say He is not happy. (hangs head shamfully... guilty)
24. During a play party is not the time to do your hilarious imitation
of Igor and hunch over moaning "Yes Master" when ordered to fetch
something.
25. Adding "Sir/Ma'am" or Master/Mistress" to "Fuck That" will not
save you. (lol guilty here to..... no making fun you know we all are.)
26. Singing the chorus of "Anything You Can Do i Can DO Better" under
your breath during a session, is considered foolhardy.
27. Reciting nursery rhymes during an interrogation scene to crack
your Master up, only lasts so long. Then you will pay….BIG.
28. Arguing whether "Master may not be right, but Master is never
wrong" is Zen or Buddhist philosophy, will only get you rewarded with
kneeling in the corner for you to consider the question in quiet
contemplation.
And last but not least……………………….
29. Asking "Is that as hard as You can hit" is considered a cry for
help among submissive suicidals. (omg im sooooo guilty here)
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