RE: Ok. This might just be the limit.

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (Full Version)

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Rover -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:16:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty In theory though, we have a 'TPE' no limi relationship, whic sort of complicates how I discuss this matter. I hope it's not the wrong time and place to observe that it's easy not to have any limits... until someone surpasses one. And when that happens, theory is always trumped by reality. John

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:19:01 PM)
If youve alreayd told him and you havent spoken to him since, then why not wait to see what he says before worrying too much about where it might go? For all you know, he might see it your way and take off the face pictures or whatever. Before you go getting too upset, see how he handles it. If he is no dummy about graphics, ask him to remove your face, and make you less recognizable. Tell him you trust his judgement not to remove the photos, but he should consider your feelings as well. DV

kitttty -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:20:26 PM)
as of now, i am in trouble i guess. i checked the blog again and every post has been deleted and there is only this: kitty has been disobedient. she will be appropriately punished. -MASTER and a pic of some random girl getting caned. i would have felt better if he just cropped my head out of the pics. The fact that he deleted everything does note bode well for me. :) I am not sure if this is the end of this though.

maclough -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:23:02 PM)
hmmn, wow this is tough... TPE does make it so difficult, as a sub when we enter a TPE it is with total trust that the one we are handing control to has our well being in mind. Ok, I know what I want to say, but then I sit and think of myself and what I would do. Wow... you know the truth is this only YOU know what you can and can't do. Does that make sense? Oh I know what I would do and perhaps others do also, but every person and relationship is different. [8\|]

Lordandmaster -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:23:06 PM)
Did he go to drama school? quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty as of now, i am in trouble i guess. i checked the blog again and every post has been deleted and there is only this: kitty has been disobedient. she will be appropriately punished. -MASTER and a pic of some random girl getting caned. i would have felt better if he just cropped my head out of the pics. The fact that he deleted everything does note bode well for me. :) I am not sure if this is the end of this though.

Kirata -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:24:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty I didn't say that because I feel that I am rightfully pissed. I understand, and I have not known love to survive much of that for long. K.

Kirata -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:27:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Did he go to drama school? Yeah really, I just saw the post you're referring to. K.

kitttty -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:29:16 PM)
In truth, if he made a more solid commitment to me, this wouldn't be an issue. If he married me (its my obsession- don't ask) then I would be more than happy to let him display my pics as he feels. But since I feel that this blog could affect my future somewhere down the road and he hasn't married me (which would mean he took official and public responsibility for my future), I have issues. If he does something to advserly affect me 5 years down the road and he is long gone 5 yrs down the road, then it is not fair to me.

amelliagrace -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:32:00 PM)
*kitty -* I can understand you feeling upset. Certainly, you needed to talk to him about this, and be completely honest about your feelings - all of them. I do think that perhaps you might also want to take some deep breaths, and realize that until he gets back to you on this, and you discuss it, the speculatives about "why", and "why not" and "what if" are not exactly helpful to you. They can, in fact, make things worse, and get you so knotted up that when the time comes, you may not be able to have this very important conversation in as calm a manner as it requires. Once you know more of how he feels on the subject, and why he feels that way, and know what, if anything, he intends to do regarding the situation, then and only then can you work through your feelings about this. He'll either adjust/remove the photos or he won't. He'll either share his reasoning with you or he won't. At that point, and only at that point, can you make an informed decision on how to respond. Kirata is a very insightful man, and you might wish to ponder his post as you prepare for the upcoming conversation, and think about it again later, in the context of the feedback you get from your dominant, and your feelings and thoughts at that time. *I hope this situation resolves in a manner that is in your long term best interest.* *Regards -* *Grace*

Lordandmaster -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:34:09 PM)
Oh God. If he marries you, it's all OK, but otherwise no? Sounds like you BOTH went to drama school.

amelliagrace -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:35:33 PM)
oh quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Did he go to drama school? quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty as of now, i am in trouble i guess. i checked the blog again and every post has been deleted and there is only this: kitty has been disobedient. she will be appropriately punished. -MASTER and a pic of some random girl getting caned. i would have felt better if he just cropped my head out of the pics. The fact that he deleted everything does note bode well for me. :) I am not sure if this is the end of this though. *Drama school indeed, LaM.* Just my unsolicited opinion, but that reaction, to me, has RED FLAG written all over it. Sometimes, kitttty, what seems to be a huge loss in the short run turns out to be a major blessing in the long run. Just my .o2 cents. *Grace*

amelliagrace -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:36:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Oh God. If he marries you, it's all OK, but otherwise no? Sounds like you BOTH went to drama school. *nods agreement, sighs, and beats head on desk* *Grace*

kitttty -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:40:37 PM)
quote: Oh God. If he marries you, it's all OK, but otherwise no? What's wrong with feeling that way? Marrying me is like promising that he will be there to deal with the consequences, in which case permanent damage to my reputation is a-ok by me- I would certainly like to be able to say that his happiness is more important than my public image. I just cant say that now.

amelliagrace -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:45:26 PM)
If this is how he handles a voiced concern of yours over something that seriously distresses you (and you believe legitimately so), you might want to consider exactly how much concern he's exhibiting for your welfare, and how much he values you. *Marriage, btw, does not insure "* that he will be there to deal with the consequences", or that his handling of them won't be worse than the consequences themselves. *Grace*

apiercedkitty -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 8:54:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: amelliagrace If this is how he handles a voiced concern of yours over something that seriously distresses you (and you believe legitimately so), you might want to consider exactly how much concern he's exhibiting for your welfare, and how much he values you. *Marriage, btw, does not insure "* that he will be there to deal with the consequences", or that his handling of them won't be worse than the consequences themselves. *Grace* Stands and applauds If you've entered a TPE and this is how He handles things that you feel are "sensitive," then you might want to pack your bags and run before He REALLY crosses a line.

kitttty -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 9:13:45 PM)
Well, we'll see. I mean, he did take the site down.

apiercedkitty -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 9:19:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitttty Well, we'll see. I mean, he did take the site down. ??? He took the site down... EVERYTHING as opposed to the face pics... AND stated that you misbehaved and will be punished??? That just sounds like a temper tantrum to me... but whatever you're comfortable with... good luck...

taintedgypsy -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 9:26:49 PM)
I make it a fact of life before a camera is removed from the bag that all photos of me belong to me from now until the end of time and any posting, showing or use must be with my agrement ... this is a total deal breaker but as I said this is stated before any shot is taken. When I left the last relationship he even opened up his computer and said search and make sure nothing has been missed, he allowed me to choose what remained in his possession after I was gone. I have the utmost respect for the man and it certainly plays a part in our present exploration of possibilities. I am fairly open about my involment with BDSM, it is no secret among my vanilla friends and family however there are certain parts of my life that I prefer kept separate, I could and would deal with the consequences of my actions that outed me but be dammed if anyone has the right to out me but me. In my opion consentual is the word most important here and the Dominant's responsibility to ensure that he does not damage that which he is supposed to value.

brightspot -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 9:30:49 PM)
~FR quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong Whenever anyone allows themselves to be photographed or taped.. they run the risk of this sort of thing. If you feel uncomfortable, I would expect your dom to respect that. *Yeah!, Hasn't anyone learned anything from Paris Hilton yet? [:D]* *On the serious side, you said you told him and he hasn't answered you yet, I was wondering are you RT or on-line with this guy?* *He should respect your wishes and be protective of you and your rep., how can he really love and care about you if he dosen't???* *Missy.* *Edited to add; He dosen't seem like a very responsible Dom to me and seems to have communication problems, I think maybe you're mixed up in something that is not what you believe it to be.*

RRafe -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 9:33:41 PM)
Can only speak from my own perspective. Compromising my intimate partner would be compromising myself. I won't do that to show off. Just because you can-does not mean you should. Misusing a perogative shows a serious lack of wisdom.

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