How do you cope with....

How do you cope with.... (Full Version)

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TPE4life -> How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 11:58:15 AM)
In this modern internet and You Tube world; where everybody can have an opinion and does have an opinion; I find there are too many opinions available. Sometimes the opinions are not even relevant. I am new to the BDSM world, and I think of myself as a student, and I am constantly trying to learn. I really enjoy this forum; it has helped me learn more in a short period of time, then I would have otherwise. But what I find difficult is when you have a question and someone misinterprets the questions and sends the topic on a tangent. What’s worse is when some others continue the tangent, then leaving the original question un-answered. I would like to think of myself as being articulate, but again, I see my self as a student, I know there is always more that could be learned. Has anyone else experienced this, and how do you cope with it?

breatheasone -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 12:00:52 PM)
quote: how do you cope with it? As my Master would call them...."happy puffs"......and welcome to the jungle....

TPE4life -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 12:01:32 PM)
thank you, you made me smile

RosesHaveThorns -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 12:01:54 PM)
Same way I do in real life. Ask politely to remain on topic. Perhaps nudge things, by refering back to a an interesting point. Don't sweat it if people find something else more interesting. I don't really think I own a thread even if I make it. I don't think that I own a conversation even if I start it in person instead of on the web.

TPE4life -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 12:04:27 PM)
indeed a good perspective, i will endeavor to adopt this mindset, thank you

Phoenixandnika -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 12:10:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TPE4life In this modern internet and You Tube world; where everybody can have an opinion and does have an opinion; I find there are too many opinions available. Sometimes the opinions are not even relevant. I am new to the BDSM world, and I think of myself as a student, and I am constantly trying to learn. I really enjoy this forum; it has helped me learn more in a short period of time, then I would have otherwise. But what I find difficult is when you have a question and someone misinterprets the questions and sends the topic on a tangent. What’s worse is when some others continue the tangent, then leaving the original question un-answered. I would like to think of myself as being articulate, but again, I see my self as a student, I know there is always more that could be learned. Has anyone else experienced this, and how do you cope with it? When talking to someone face to face, often something in our conversation will spark a tangent or a recollection or send our conversation into a whole different direction. Unless the original topic is something that needs to be resolved or discussed and wasn't in my mind then I simply let conversations develope as they may. I pretty much look at the forms the same way. Blessed Be, Nika

TPE4life -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 12:14:21 PM)
i never thought of it that way...thank you

Phoenixandnika -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 12:24:59 PM)
Your welcome Nika

Goddess20 -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 12:28:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TPE4life In this modern internet and You Tube world; where everybody can have an opinion and does have an opinion; I find there are too many opinions available. Sometimes the opinions are not even relevant. The thing about BDSM is everyone has their own opinions on their own situations, so yes there are many, MANY opinions out there and it can be hard to interpert them all. As you said you are still learning (arn't we all) so in time you will develop your own opinion and get a better understanding. Hang on in there and you'll soon be more confident and can add your opinion to the mix as well.

Phoenixandnika -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 12:37:04 PM)
[/quote] The thing about BDSM is everyone has their own opinions on their own situations, so yes there are many, MANY opinions out there and it can be hard to interpert them all. As you said you are still learning (arn't we all) so in time you will develop your own opinion and get a better understanding. Hang on in there and you'll soon be more confident and can add your opinion to the mix as well. [/quote] I would venture to say this is true with any subject not just BDSM. Blessed Be, Nika

AquaticSub -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 1:43:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TPE4life Has anyone else experienced this, and how do you cope with it? I regard these forums much as a conversation in real life. If the people engaged are not interested in a topic, it will either die or shift to something else. This happens on the forums as well. If the topic is strong enough, the discussion will shift back to first topic. Otherwise, I suggest simply letting the thread die and trying again. The wording of the question could have been unclear, the subject too broad or not specific enough to garner the desired responses.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 2:36:21 PM)
It's simply one of the ways in which the universe manifests to you that you are not in control, nor will you ever be in control of what happens around you. Stop trying to control it, stop reacting to the truth of it and simply let it flow around you. Take what works for you and leave the rest. Or else you end up a crotchety old person no one wants to be around.

MsPleasure -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 4:10:40 PM)
Don't worry about the opinions that go off on a tangent. There will ALWAYS be smart asses, jokers (who think they are funny), nay sayers, and jerks. Take what you need and keep moving.

colouredin -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 4:15:03 PM)
Ive noticed it too and i have also been guilty of missing the point or picking up on a small detail that im interested in. I just think that if a post leads to lots of comments that can only be a good way of getting more opinions and ideas on a wider range of things that you may not have asked yourself

MsPleasure -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 5:11:27 PM)
Personally, I like the variety. But when you are new trying to honestly learn about this lifestyle you just want some straight answers, not the jokes, or jabs.

MidMichCowboy -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 6:09:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsPleasure Don't worry about the opinions that go off on a tangent. There will ALWAYS be smart asses, jokers (who think they are funny), nay sayers, and jerks. Take what you need and keep moving. I often find that I respect the opinions expressed by the smart asses, the joker, and nay sayers. The jerks .. often those who take themselves too seriously. You will find a lot of opinions. Free advice is usually worth what it costs. When you take it too seriously, you'll most likely miss the point. Get into the spirit of a good discussion and glean from those who impress you when they write and respond to how others pick apart what they write. When someone becomes too serious or self righteous, they usually will not entertain any opinion but theirs. I find it humorous that so many in this kinky lifestyle are actually very narrow minded. Relax, pick the gems from those you are impressed with (over time). Look inside yourself. Most of the answers will be there anyway.

RosesHaveThorns -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 6:31:05 PM)
No one can accuse me of seriousness, but a lot of the time, the advice is only half-joking. Consider that as well.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/27/2007 7:19:22 PM)
It's simply a common forum phenomena and, like so many other things, you're just gonna have to ignore what doesn't suit you. Once you get the hang of it, it's fairly easy. Master Fire

ResidentSadist -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/28/2007 12:58:42 AM)
I have been a moderator at a smaller forum with 40,000 members (mmoglider.com). I found that when things get off topic, you need to point it out and politely ask people to start new threads for new topics. You may have to police your own threads to keep them on track and out of the "flames".

TPE4life -> RE: How do you cope with.... (10/28/2007 7:22:06 PM)
Thank You all. Yes at i times i know i take myself too seriously. I dont mean too. I do like to hear oppinions that can be called "solid information", the distractors, can cause some annoyace. Thank You all, once again.

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