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switching- first impressions - 10/29/2007 9:09:02 AM

liketophoto

Posts: 763
Joined: 6/17/2007
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First impressions are lasting impressions, when someone sees you as submissive, How can you really change their mind set to show them that you can also be Dominant and visa versa?

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RE: switching- first impressions - 10/29/2007 10:53:49 AM

azropedntied

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Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
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Many have told me they see me as a Dom or Top , yet others see the subbie side .I prefer no lables but this one fits the best, like a all around gymnast so to speak . I used to correct people and now i just smile and say thank you when they tell me what they think i am .In the end give it time to allow others to view you for you and the wonder shall become known .Recently after i had a very long session where i Topped another , this woman said WOW i thought you were a submissive bottom , i did the grin and said why yes i am that as well .

(in reply to liketophoto)

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RE: switching- first impressions - 10/29/2007 10:58:42 AM

maclough

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much like azropedntied I prefer no label which is why when asked I say im a me... first impression if I am with my Owner people see me as subbie, but if we are not together they see me as a Dom, which would be the perfect way to view me. I don't even begin to try to change people impressions of me, I allow them to see me the way I am. Wow that was as clear as 3 day old coffee.

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RE: switching- first impressions - 10/29/2007 11:07:26 AM

laurell3

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Joined: 5/5/2005
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Sees you as in has sex with you? For me it's possible they can't change that impression as I tend to identify people with their primary role. This doesn't mean they can't switch with me, but I doubt both sides would be as satisfying.

(in reply to maclough)

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RE: switching- first impressions - 11/14/2007 12:59:12 PM

liketophoto

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One of the first questions I am asked is : are you a Dom or Sub?
How can that be left unanswered?

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RE: switching- first impressions - 11/14/2007 1:12:26 PM

liketophoto

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Joined: 6/17/2007
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Laurell3, Excuse me but we are talking BDSM not just sex, sorry I did not clarify, you have a misconception about some switchs. I am both sadistic and masocistic.
I feed off the other person, if they are sub or Dom.
The one thing I do admit is I do not have the arogance to try something that I know little or nothing about. I am going to be trained before I do any kind of play
in a Dominant role. I say arogance because there is a differeace between arogance , confidance and or competent.
Thank you for your repy,
LTP

(in reply to liketophoto)

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RE: switching- first impressions - 11/14/2007 9:21:16 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
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Dont you just love two choice options for your questions .If asked if i am Top or bottom ? I then ask are those my only two choices ? do ya have any more i can pick from .Or i can say Top or bottom ? with you ? or just say YES !Kinda like when you meet someone for the first time and they toss the ole so what do you do ?Well lets see last night i swam in shark infested waters then went to a BBQ the next day ,watched some porn drank beer took a nap , played some video games , thought i cured a ailment but was wrong then went to be .Nooo i mean for a living !!? what that aint livin ?Point being many people wanna define us in roles be it our Job and work places ,hobbies ,sport or roles in bdsm .I am one that makes it tough for them .I figure if all they want is the cliffsnotes they have no real intrest anyway .

(in reply to liketophoto)

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RE: switching- first impressions - 11/15/2007 12:17:00 AM

laurell3

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Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: liketophoto

Laurell3, Excuse me but we are talking BDSM not just sex, sorry I did not clarify, you have a misconception about some switchs. I am both sadistic and masocistic.
I feed off the other person, if they are sub or Dom.
The one thing I do admit is I do not have the arogance to try something that I know little or nothing about. I am going to be trained before I do any kind of play
in a Dominant role. I say arogance because there is a differeace between arogance , confidance and or competent.
Thank you for your repy,
LTP

Well I dont' have any misconception about it at all as I am both and a switch as well. My point was if I was in a sexual or bdsm relationship with someone in one role, changing that perception would be very difficult. If I hadn't had physical contact with them and knew them personally, I would identify with them in what I believed their primary role was, regardless of what was stated. I think it's often the case that we respond to something about a person that invokes either our submissive or dominant side (as you stated I believe, by saying you "feed off of them"). What they say if they are a switch isn't as relevant as how I feel with them. If I really think their primary role is submissive, it's unlikely they could convince me of anything else.

My comments aren't criticism. I've had this issue in relationships in the past. As much as I may have wanted to have it work out by viewing someone another way, we identify with people in the way we see them and how they make us feel.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: switching- first impressions - 11/15/2007 6:20:33 AM

deadscout

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I is hard to change someone's first impression especially seeing how most people are pretty narrow-minded to begin with. by the way, nice creative photos you have there.

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RE: switching- first impressions - 11/15/2007 2:30:11 PM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: deadscout

I is hard to change someone's first impression especially seeing how most people are pretty narrow-minded to begin with. by the way, nice creative photos you have there.

I'm not sure I would call it narrow-mindedness as much as chemistry. I was in a relationship with a guy that called himself a switch and he was very dominant, however, enjoyed some submissive type activities, but he could not or would not ever want to truly submit emotionally, which was fine with me as I like him for who he is and my submissive side indentifies with him as a Dom. I guess like anything else here, it's more about finding someone you actually like than getting caught up in roles and dogma.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to deadscout)

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RE: switching- first impressions - 11/16/2007 8:13:45 AM

ViceVersa

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Joined: 11/29/2005
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I'm not given to quoting songs often, but I find a lot of truth in Paul Simon's lyric ...still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest. I think tops tend to see the bottom side, and bottoms tend to see the top side because that completes what they may be looking for.

Setting out with the goal of changing someone is difficult and can be frustrating. Concentrate on what you have control over and that's yourself. If you want to be seen differently, focus on behaving differently and let the chips fall where they may - some folks will see the added dimensions and some won't.

ViceVersa
I'd rather switch than fight - although struggling's nice too.

(in reply to liketophoto)

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RE: switching- first impressions - 11/19/2007 6:26:39 PM

liketophoto

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I am going to try and answer my own question, heavens knows I have thought about it enough.

I think about how I felt about people, when I first met them.
They most always seem different when I have know them for awhile.
But first impressions are so very important.
I think what changes my mind about people sometimes is the way others veiw them.
I always find myself about as far away from mainstream as humanly possible.
Sometimes I need to be grounded by otheres that I have respect for.

(in reply to ViceVersa)

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RE: switching- first impressions - 11/19/2007 6:28:25 PM

Aceton

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Joined: 9/2/2007
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You seek to change minds? I hear a good thrashing often helps...

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