Marc2b For President (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity



Message

Marc2b -> Marc2b For President (11/1/2007 1:56:00 PM)

After looking over all the Presidential candidates I have come to the conclusion that the best person to be President is me.

Here (in no particular order) are some (but by no means all) of the policies I would pursue:

Eliminate all taxes except income tax (and I mean all income – this would include profits from the sale of stock or a house, the fifty bucks your grandma gave you on your birthday, etc.). Set the tax rate at ten percent for everybody. Eliminate all tax deductions except on monies spent on food, education, healthcare, housing, charitable donations, and personal energy production (e.g. solar panels on your roof).

Eliminate the minimum wage (it’s time to stop putting unskilled laborers out of work in the name of helping them).

Boot Vermont out of the Union (I’m sick and tired of listening to their whining). Okay, I’m kidding about this one.

Set up the Kurdish area of Iraq as an independent country (yeah, it’ll piss off Turkey but who gives a shit?) Then begin a timely, orderly withdrawal from the rest of Iraq.

Invade Canada. If we are going to invade other countries we might as well pick someone close to home. The shorter supply lines will mean less expense and with a military consisting of nothing but a few Mounties, a couple of lumberjacks in a canoe, and a flying squirrel, you know they’ll be real pushovers. Okay, I’m kidding again.

Tell Iran that if they want a nuclear weapon go ahead and get one. Then remind them that we have lots of nuclear weapons, some of them mounted on missiles that can strike anywhere in the world. Maybe lob one of those missiles (minus the nuke) into Teheran – just to drive the point home.

Build as many prisons as necessary to keep all violent criminals off the streets.

Eliminate the death penalty.

Push through a Constitutional amendment defining marriage as a union between two or more adult human beings (sorry goat lovers, your time has not yet come).

Legalize Marijuana.

Downsize and re-structure the CIA so that it is not longer a covert operations agency but in fact does what it’s title suggests – gather and analyze information and then present both the raw data and their analysis to the Chief Executive and the appropriate committees in Congress who are the one to make the decisions based upon the info.

Secure (and I mean really secure) the southern border. Grant amnesty to all illegal aliens (who have not committed any violent crimes) already here. Make English and Spanish the official languages of the United States.

Get the Supreme Court to overturn Roe vs Wade (it’s a matter that belongs to the States, not the Federal Government)

Eliminate the Departments of Education and Agriculture (more matters that belong to the states).

Declare the Marquis de Sade’s birthday a national holiday. Okay, I know that this won’t really happen, I just want to watch the Evangelicals have a conniptions fit.

Phase out Social Security, Medicade, and Medicare.

Decrease our dependence on foreign oil by telling the environmental whack jobs to shut the fuck up and then start drilling for the oil we have here.

I could go on and on but this is a good start.

I hope I can count on your vote.



EPGAH -> RE: Marc2b For President (11/1/2007 2:36:51 PM)

Well, take out the amnesty and Spanish language part, and you got yourself a deal! (We've had 7 previous amnesties, and it only made the illegals upset as to why their predecessors got amnesty, why shouldn't they? UNFAIR![:(])
Also, you'll have to greatly expand and restructure existing prisons. For instance, 22 miles east of my house, there is a 75,000 square foot "correctional facility", but most of it is "greenspace" (i.e. a big backyard, with low fences and signs that warn motorists not to pick up hitchhikers in the area!) Also, in order to be able to afford all those new prisons, you'd have to cut down on the amenities they provide--or have the criminals' families provide them...or a monthly fee for a full-size cell, otherwise, they get a half-size...Heck, enough changes like that, and the prison-system could become a money-MAKER for the government, instead of a money-SINK! But back to reality, freeweights have been used as weapons before in "escapes", so exercise rooms should be the first to go...Followed closely by unlimited appeals and then cable TV and Internet access...Perhaps provide those last two as "rewards" for the model prisoners?



Rule -> RE: Marc2b For President (11/1/2007 2:41:13 PM)

I do not agree with some of your policies, but I would vote for you. (I would vote for a retarded person in a mad house; anything is better than the past two hundred years of presidents.)
 
Of course you will be murdered once you nominate yourself or get elected, and they will blame it on Oswald or whomever. What kind of flowers do you want on your coffin?



FullCircle -> RE: Marc2b For President (11/1/2007 3:40:08 PM)

I'd vote for you but then I'm also tempted to vote Boris Johnson in the upcoming elections. Anything to oust red Ken.



beargonewild -> RE: Marc2b For President (11/1/2007 6:53:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b

Invade Canada. If we are going to invade other countries we might as well pick someone close to home. The shorter supply lines will mean less expense and with a military consisting of nothing but a few Mounties, a couple of lumberjacks in a canoe, and a flying squirrel, you know they’ll be real pushovers. Okay, I’m kidding again.



Good plan though you'll have to rethink your plan to invade Canada! Our flying squirral left and have been replaced by mutant killer chipmunks. We have more then a few Mounties, truthfully, the entire western part of Canada is patrolled by Mounties but just don't laugh or make fun of their idiotic hats  LOL.  Best bet is to invade during the winter months. Most of us Canucks are indoors where it's warm, eh. My advice is to ignore the couple lumberjacks, rumor has it they are gay and can be found at any leather bar in Toronto!



Marc2b -> RE: Marc2b For President (11/1/2007 7:36:38 PM)

quote:

Well, take out the amnesty and Spanish language part, and you got yourself a deal! (We've had 7 previous amnesties, and it only made the illegals upset as to why their predecessors got amnesty, why shouldn't they? UNFAIR!)


Yes, it’s not fair but it is not a matter of fairness, it is a matter of practicality. As a sovereign nation we have the right to look over anyone coming in (we have enough home grown assholes of our own, we don’t need to import them) but millions are already here and unless you want to spend billions raiding their homes and rounding them up we are going to have to accommodate them.

quote:

Also, you'll have to greatly expand and restructure existing prisons. For instance, 22 miles east of my house, there is a 75,000 square foot "correctional facility", but most of it is "greenspace" (i.e. a big backyard, with low fences and signs that warn motorists not to pick up hitchhikers in the area!) Also, in order to be able to afford all those new prisons, you'd have to cut down on the amenities they provide--or have the criminals' families provide them...or a monthly fee for a full-size cell, otherwise, they get a half-size...Heck, enough changes like that, and the prison-system could become a money-MAKER for the government, instead of a money-SINK! But back to reality, freeweights have been used as weapons before in "escapes", so exercise rooms should be the first to go...Followed closely by unlimited appeals and then cable TV and Internet access...Perhaps provide those last two as "rewards" for the model prisoners?


I have no problem cutting back on the amenities. I see so reason why a prisoner should have anything more than three square meals a day, a shower a day, a warm bed, and basic healthcare. If they want to be entertained, they can read a book.



Marc2b -> RE: Marc2b For President (11/1/2007 7:45:21 PM)

quote:

I do not agree with some of your policies, but I would vote for you. (I would vote for a retarded person in a mad house; anything is better than the past two hundred years of presidents.)


Uhmmm... I’ll take that as a compliment.

quote:

Of course you will be murdered once you nominate yourself or get elected, and they will blame it on Oswald or whomever. What kind of flowers do you want on your coffin?


True, I would piss a lot of people off but I don’t want flowers, I want a life-sized marble statue of me bitch slapping Hugo Chavez.



Marc2b -> RE: Marc2b For President (11/1/2007 7:48:47 PM)

quote:

Good plan though you'll have to rethink your plan to invade Canada! Our flying squirral left and have been replaced by mutant killer chipmunks. We have more then a few Mounties, truthfully, the entire western part of Canada is patrolled by Mounties but just don't laugh or make fun of their idiotic hats LOL. Best bet is to invade during the winter months. Most of us Canucks are indoors where it's warm, eh. My advice is to ignore the couple lumberjacks, rumor has it they are gay and can be found at any leather bar in Toronto!


Everybody laughs at the Mounties hats. I’d have thought that they’d be used to it by now. As for invading in winter, it’s the best time to invade because that’s when most Canadians are in Florida.



Marc2b -> RE: Marc2b For President (11/1/2007 7:52:16 PM)

I goofed when I first started this thread and accidently put it in the off topic section. I see the Mods moved it to the Random Stupidity section. I’ve no beef with that (although I am not being completely irreverent – I would eliminate the minimum wage).



nighthawk3569 -> RE: Marc2b For President (11/2/2007 5:51:20 AM)

popeye1250 for President in 2008
 
before it's too late



Page: [1]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125