RE: A bit of advice....please!

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RE: A bit of advice....please! - 8/8/2005 8:58:57 PM

LilyOR

Posts: 22
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline

I can also vouch for the fact that a woman who feels submissive at one time, can completely change over time, as I did. It's possible your wife might too, if she's shown how nice it is to get things the way she likes them. She needs to reach a mindset where she feels she *deserves* it though. Even if she reaches a point at which she wants you to give her a good spanking because it feels good. Bottoming can be done from the top, afterall. You're still catering to her, even though it's you who might want that spanking. You might try flattery too...tell her that you are SO turned on by her that you can't imagine anyone else spanking you (or whatever your kink is). Even though you KNOW it's not her kink...would she just try it because it would be so nice. Then romance her with some flowers or something she likes. Positive reinforcement, baby.

I used to also identify as a submissive, and always thought I simply had to meet a "Master" who was tactful, strong, and willing to listen to me (since I am so reasonable and correct alllll the time!). I was fooling myself, because really all I wanted all along was a strong male partner. Period. But many years ago, my self esteem had major work to be done. I strongly believe that my change to a confident, self aware, self liking person had a direct effect on my transition from a submissive, to a bottom (much more control!) and now to a top.

I still acknowledge that I enjoy some bottoming, mind you, but I want it done MY way, and oddly enough I don't really fantasize much about it anymore.

Things CAN change, but it takes time time time and effort.

(in reply to imtempting)

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Post #: 21

RE: A bit of advice....please! - 8/9/2005 11:31:48 AM

TheLioness

Posts: 9
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

There are those of us pros out there who have a very small clientele that we have very personal relationships with, you just have to find one. I adore my clients and consider them friends first and if they stopped coming to me for professional services, we would continue to remain friends. And I charge or don't charge based on two choices - .. dedication at a level where I don't have to worry that they're not fully available to me because a wife is at home and DESERVES first attention, as is her right, or a more casual friendship that makes few demands on their time and includes paying me for my considerable skills. Surely you don't expect someone to go through the work and dedication of training you properly, and it is work, so that you can show up for a couple hours a couple times a month and receive whatever attention it is you desire in order to satisfy your kinks, do you? What's in it for the Dom? This world is crawling with good looking kinky submissive males who are single and willing to have a 50/50 relationship, who are able to serve in all the ways you crave, pretty much any time we want, within reason of course. You really are going to be at the absolute bottom of anyone's list I'm afraid.

So here's a thought, I love having submissive couples as personal playtoys. I get two dedicated submissives, both capable of offering me their own unique brand of submission, who already love and care for each other so much that I worry less about them taking care of themselves when I'm not around. Is it possible for you and your wife to take your baby steps into this as a couple? It sounds like she might be open to it.

Good Luck ~
Domina Katrina

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(in reply to brightspot)

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Post #: 22

RE: A bit of advice....please! - 8/9/2005 6:22:32 PM

TiNeedsHouseboy

Posts: 145
Joined: 4/24/2005
From: Big Apple blossom blown to The Windy City
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quote:

ORIGINAL: aching2pleaseher
I can definately see both sides of the argument here. I do try to submit more, but I do have a dynamic powerful personality, and she does have a very submissive personality.... My wife and I enjoy threesomes occaisionally, and she then tells me to have my way with the other woman, and gets extremely excited by this. In fact, sometimes I take this other woman out, (with permission) and relay the details later.

I think at this point, she wants me to take a dip in the pool, check out the waters, and if I say the water is fine, she may too venture in.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aching2pleaseher
I have asked that she let me serve her, but she too seems to be a submissive. This makes it a little awkward, as when comparing ourselves, she is more submissive than I.

Things that make ya go hmmmm.....

After reading through your posts, I'm confused. A few questions to clear up what you're requesting:

You perceive your wife as more submissive than you. Is this simply based on your impression of her, or does she have real-time experience as a submissive in other relationships?

You've also mentioned 3-somes with a cuckolding element, if I'm getting the correct impression. (Please let me know if I'm misconstruing what you've written.) What do you mean by "gets extremely excited by this" when you take another women out and relate the details?

Then, you mention that you're supposed to be the trail scout, so to speak. Just what are you hoping to explore? What is your goal? What is your wife's goal? Your profile reflects a solo exploration, with no regard for your wife's needs.

There are committed dominant couples seeking submissive couples. Granted, it narrows the field, but would leave you on a path that's more in keeping with your situation. Another possibility is seeking a Domme who will dominate both of you. Why are these sorts of options not included in your desire to test the waters?

Wouldn't your marriage feel more joyous and fruitful if you find your way to a niche where you can have a mutually satisfying, shared experience?

~ Ti ~

(in reply to aching2pleaseher)

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Post #: 23

RE: A bit of advice....please! - 8/9/2005 10:27:31 PM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
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Glad to see someone gets it.
Just wait until this board is Jammed with similar
posts!

*Brightspot

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(in reply to imtempting)

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Post #: 24

RE: A bit of advice....please! - 10/9/2010 5:31:34 AM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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SirGuy, I have no idea what you posted, but you DO realize that the thread you dug up is five years old, and that most everyone on it is gone, right?

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Post #: 25

RE: A bit of advice....please! - 10/9/2010 6:21:52 AM

OttersSwim