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RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/5/2007 5:19:00 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

OP assuming you are still out there in some form, no you aren't the only frustrated one, in fact the number of first time posters of similar threads of this nature suggests the contrary.  Be patient. 


Indeed....my post to the contrary....relax...take some time.  You'll get there.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/6/2007 10:27:11 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Im going to sue you Michael for reprinting parts of my book without my permission.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 12:00:19 AM   
hsagnev


Posts: 188
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RUthe14me80

Do any other respectful subs (by that I mean those who actually read profiles and send well put together introduction letters to dommes) feel like it's just going nowhere?  Tired of the no responses, or the short one word replies.  Do dommes actually search for submissives, and are ther any out there that actually do it for fun?  Wow, it seems everyone is in it for a buck these days.  I know dommes have to put up with a lot of email crap, wankers, and the like, but jeeze...there are a few of us "good guys" out there.  There, that felt better!


I've been on here for five years now and haven't met one person.  I think it is safe to conclude that CM just isn't the place to meet others.

(in reply to RUthe14me80)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 12:21:11 AM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		RU : Stop sending mail around and make your profile the way it reflects you as best as you can. Be sure that the ones who are interested in you they will let you know. Meantime jack back and relax.. If no responses, well there still wont be no skin out of your nose..

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!


(in reply to TravWill)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 1:16:11 AM   
HCWT1


Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline 		For most the search will be long,or allmost impossible,but isen't some of the fun in the chase.It would be fare to say nobody iv'e found on line lasted to long.The ones that worked for myself came from the other side(vanilla),but then i do show who i am and what im about to everyone,when out and about.
Take it from someone thats been around a long time,complaining won't help!!!


(in reply to RUthe14me80)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 4:53:00 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TravWill

quote:

ORIGINAL: CollegeConundrum

When you read a profile and it says she doesn't want a doormat, be a doormat because she's lying.

When you read a profile and it says she wants a smart, extroverted, intelligent sub, be the dumbest pile of rocks you can be because she's lying.

When you read a profile and it says she wants a masochistic sub behind closed doors and a vanilla guy outside, well you get it, she's lying.

And for god's sakes, whatever you do, if you come across a profile of a girl you find astoundingly beautiful and amazingly eloquent, don't even bother because she won't even give you the time of day.



I feel the same way and act the same way you do man, women dont know what they want bro


SOME women do not know what they want, just as SOME men don't know what they want.  I have a male sub so I am very happy with what I have because I KNEW what I wanted when I was looking.

OP As a Domme I get a bit of mail. I have stated plainly in my profile that I do not want to hear from: Doms/Goreans who want me to dominate them, Men coming into town for a weekend and want a "quickie" ass beating, nor do I want to hear from subs/slaves whose Masters have sent them to find a Domme for them to play with. Form letters also turn me off as I see that as very impersonal. These type of messages go unanswered, I do not feel they are worth my time to reply.

What I do reply to is well thought out messages that ring of sincerity. These types of message are very few and far in between. So no you are not alone in your frustration, there are lots of people here that have the same stress.

Good luck,
~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to TravWill)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 6:01:32 AM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Women are easy to understand.
  1. You must first understand yourself, a step few take because it is both scary and difficult.  Realizing that you have issues that control/affect your needs and wants is the first step.  Most people go through life unaware of the reasons they make most decisions or why one thing makes them happy and something else doesnt, they just think it "is".
  2. Then you must realize that your issues and thus your needs and wants are not universal and that everyone out there is unique.  Its easy to mouth the words but far harder to recognize this at your core.
  3. Once you realize people are unique it is a small step to realize that within a broad spectrum there is not a "right or wrong" way to live.
  4. This next step is also not a huge stretch,  learning to not only face your own issues and thus your needs and wants but to understand that someone else comes with their own needs and wants and that like you, they vary from day to day.
  5. Now, learn to make someone else happy through compromise without either of you feeling compromised is the step few ever manage.  You need to realize that most people, no matter how flawless their tits or tight their ass, or how big their cocks are are just not suitable for you is terrifying.  So afraid of admitting this they compromise on WHO they are with rather than finding the right person and compromising on WHAT/how they do things.
  6. Until you can do all that you can't recognize the "right" person for you, the one with whom they can truly build a life together rather than just achieve the next orgasm. 


True and clearly thought out point of view.. Great post. They apply to both genders,

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 6:24:45 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		hsagnev,  it helps if you look in more then one place. like your local community. 

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to cjan)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 6:27:29 AM   
humble75


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/18/2007
Status: offline 		This thing, like most online forums and such can be very hard for a man.. Hard to get noticed, hard to make meaningfull conections and so on.
One way to make it less hard is to be ready before you start sending out your mail and start wanting the atention. Take some time to look at the profiles and get some kind of idea what the women like and so on. Then you write interesting things about yourself and you post your most atractive pictures, and "be the best you can" so to speak.
I would like to thank the lovely Vents for helping me out with this..

Stay positive and dont let the desperation take over, cos then youl never make it.

(in reply to cjan)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 6:28:11 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I don't know about your situation OP, but I can assure you that I am the only frustrated Dom, so one of us exists on this planet.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LadyLynx)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 7:22:09 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You will have better luck if you join your community and make friends. Don't be desperate though as that is never attractive. Just be friendly and polite. But don't expect this to happen overnight, because it won't.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to TravWill)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 7:35:20 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hsagnev

I've been on here for five years now and haven't met one person.  I think it is safe to conclude that CM just isn't the place to meet others.


Respectfully, i reccomend using your front door more often. Seriously, i have been here less than 2 years and i have met over a dozen folks from CM, either as potential relationships or friends. Ofcourse it required picking up the phone and making an appointment/date to meet...

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to hsagnev)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 8:03:46 AM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CollegeConundrum

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

I can't be bothered with subs who email me an use text speak. r u n2 CBT?, etc. For gods sake, write to me as if I am a person, not a phone number. Your profile has gone, but maybe that was your problem?

By the way, we ALL get frustrated.


how r u 2day?  r u n amurica?  i m.  i wud lik 2 b ur frind.



It actually took me a bit to decipher that.

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to CollegeConundrum)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 9:09:19 AM   
JerryFrankster


Posts: 188
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		I think the other posters that say you should stop trying so hard, make a better profile, and wait for them to come to you are on the right track. This process is still very slow, but there's far less wasted effort involved. Wasted efforts lead to dissapointment which leads to depression, which is unattractive.

Don't count on the intarwebs. They don't love you. Go outside and meet some girls. For every female friend you have, your dateability factor increases exponentially.

Finally, one simple equasion that will solve almost every jaded sub's problem...

Fat Chick + Strap-on = Instant Service Top

Why else do you think there are so many overweight Dommes here on CM/CC? Supply and demand my friend, supply and demand. They found a way to reverse the paridigm. So can you.


_____________________________

Prosecutors will be Transgressicuted!

(in reply to RUthe14me80)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 11:53:52 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hsagnev

I've been on here for five years now and haven't met one person.  I think it is safe to conclude that CM just isn't the place to meet others.


I've been here three years, and have met over a dozen wonderful people.  In fact, I can safely say I've never had a bad experience meeting someone from Collarme.

Why did you feel you needed to dredge up an old thread on the topic?  The original poster doesn't even have an account here anymore.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to hsagnev)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 6:50:14 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: hsagnev

I've been on here for five years now and haven't met one person.  I think it is safe to conclude that CM just isn't the place to meet others.


Respectfully, i reccomend using your front door more often. Seriously, i have been here less than 2 years and i have met over a dozen folks from CM, either as potential relationships or friends. Ofcourse it required picking up the phone and making an appointment/date to meet...


Some of us have been lucky enough to have you in our home too!!!!

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 7:26:10 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		The truth of the matter is CM is simply a way for people to be really picky and have a screen to hide behind because although crap like this DOES happen in local communities it is far and few between because doing things like what you are talkin about only get you a reputation in the Real World. On CM things like this behaviour disappear in a matter of days or weeks and then no one remembered who you were anyway.

As Always

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 8:09:50 PM   
hsagnev


Posts: 188
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		RU, usually what I do is pay for a pro. At least you'll be out having fun and your time will be better spent too.  It's definitely better than reading 100 profiles very carefully and sending 100 meticulously written emails only to be completely ignored or worse, told to fuck off on a whim.  Aside from occasional entertainment CM may provide it is an utter waste of time.

< Message edited by hsagnev -- 3/14/2008 8:12:58 PM >

(in reply to RUthe14me80)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 8:22:11 PM   
hsagnev


Posts: 188
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		RU

I have no idea where you live, but if you're near SF then I'd recommend

Natasha Princess Strange - She's way into it (highly recommended)
Anna Dior
Mistress Xia Vox (I haven't visited her yet, but we have exchanged a few emails)

Basically, the good doms are the one's that really enjoy it and have started their own business professionally.  You can just tell when you meet them for the first time if they're the one.  It is total magic. 

(in reply to RUthe14me80)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 3/14/2008 8:36:49 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: hsagnev

I've been on here for five years now and haven't met one person.  I think it is safe to conclude that CM just isn't the place to meet others.


Respectfully, i reccomend using your front door more often. Seriously, i have been here less than 2 years and i have met over a dozen folks from CM, either as potential relationships or friends. Ofcourse it required picking up the phone and making an appointment/date to meet...


Front door works well  and , in my experience, having been on CM for only a short time, so does this site, as far as "connections",and introductions are concerned. Oh, and it's well designed and moderasted, of course.

I've met two wonderful, local, women recently as a result of being here.  One a Domme, another a sub. ( I can't help it if I'm lucky ).. Both are real and a delight to know.And, , interestingly, neither of the ladies read or post in the forums. Ain't life interesting ?

Maybe I'm just ...lucky.
Good luck and best wishes in your search.

< Message edited by cjan -- 3/14/2008 8:45:07 PM >

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 60
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