RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (Full Version)

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[Poll]

I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains


Should Dom/inas be allowed factual errors by sub/slaves?
  33% (8)
slaves should be seen not heard (yes for slaves only)
  0% (0)
a fact is a fact is a fact (no)
  29% (7)
you, iwillserveu, are a menace to and hated by "true" Dominants
  0% (0)
i can't vote, i'm a sub (if you're a sub that would pick #9)
  8% (2)
i can't vote, i'm a slave (If you're a slave that would pick #9 or #2)
  0% (0)
other (explain)
  16% (4)
What? A poll? You think I have an opinion?
  4% (1)
subs should be seen not heard (yes for subs and slaves)
  8% (2)


Total Votes : 24
(last vote on : 4/27/2007 2:18:14 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )


Message


Estring -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (7/8/2004 5:08:28 PM)

Well I guess the French got one thing right then.




amaleslave -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (7/10/2004 7:57:28 PM)

Well, if you think about this! A male sub/slave would have been readily chastized if he had done what she has done.



Oh, was that hint meant for me?




baileythorne -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (7/11/2004 8:25:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat
"submissives should be obscene and heard in the next county" <g>.


I think we both know a dominant woman who qualifies on both of those counts! Hahahahahaha


I'd be thrilled to meet "her" next time I'm back east. A woman I have something in common with ;-)

--bailey




ThornBlood -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (7/12/2004 5:16:44 PM)

Oh.. wait.. the sun doesn't rise in the west?




Thanatosian -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (7/13/2004 7:45:37 AM)

quote:

Oh.. wait.. the sun doesn't rise in the west?


no, but sometimes it sets in the east - at least according to New York City tourist postcard entitled "Sunset over New York" showing the sun 'setting' behind the Statue of Liberty looking out to sea[;)]




kiki blue -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (7/15/2004 5:12:16 AM)

It's really not what you say, but how you say it.




angelthighhighs -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (7/15/2004 6:57:03 PM)

will sit quietly for a change and read this as she's been known to pull a few chains herself




iwillserveu -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (7/16/2004 2:53:00 AM)

quote:

It's really not what you say, but how you say it.


kiki blue,

This is not really in reply to your post as much as a post inspired by your post. I know this is not what you meant.

Your statement got me thinking. If, for example I say, "Please, although it is your perogative to keep the car going it is customary to stop at a red light, I believe," as opposed to "The light is red! Stop!" and assuming time is not a factor. (That situation the fastest sentence is the best; not true on message boards.[:)])

Am I supposed to respect the person who pays more attention to how I say something as opposed to what I say? If someone only likes the first sentance, but hates the second what do I think of them as a person. (Yes, dominants are people too.[:)])




Sinergy -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (7/16/2004 7:42:11 AM)

quote:

Ironically a quote frequently attributed to one of America's Founding Fathers originated from a French philosopher.


Hello,

It is not that ironic. Many of the principles Jefferson and others put into the formation of the United States originated in the Age of Enlightenment period.

Sinergy




MistressDREAD -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (7/20/2004 5:42:18 PM)

quote:

"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your
right to say it." orrrr "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


iwill
I always have differances of opinions with you
but I would not have you any other way.
Sumtimes I enjoy your chain pulling and sumtimes I donot.
Im quite sure that My chain pulling makes other pull their hair
out as well........... wicked giggles at the thought of the hair being pulled.....
I take it most with a pinch of salt and sum times I blow it up to TOTAL Bitchum.
I beleive subs have a right to speak out of turn but slaves do not.
it goes back to that subs submit at the moment as apposed to slaves
submitting forever kind of thing.
you know what I do when I have issues with you that I feel are not right.
I to much enjoy seeing Owners punish their posessions not to pass up that chance.
~wink~
hmmmm now which poll choice should I choose.........[thinks about iwills
words of being a Board elitist] I think that makes Two of Us then... ticks off
the fact is a fact is a fact is a farse... hahahahah I so do DISPISE those whom
hide things in emails and such instead of addressing issues in the public forum
so all can witness and learn about the complex personalities of those of Us
whom are * different* I also get a laugh out of those whom try as they may
to look as totally normal as they can thinking their kinkie butts are foolin
sumone.HA! I think this falls under that catagory sumone mentioned today
called trying to have sum * class*




ChrisGreen -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (10/17/2004 3:47:09 PM)

Toilet humour?





GoddessDustyGold -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (10/18/2004 1:37:42 AM)

I love that everyone is on all the boards. Ok, I admit, I can't switch and have a hard time relating to it so I haven't even visited that area! I may agree or not agree, but I find that most of the people who participate on these boards are very articulate and have some excellent insights. If I didn't have an open mind, I guess I wouldn't be in this lifestyle! Hmmmm...maybe I should visit that "Ask a Switch" area, if only to read and learn! My bad!




smile2cu -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (10/18/2004 12:28:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
The obvious question is:
When a Dom/ina is clearly wrong on a matter of fact, not opinion should subs stay silent? I'm not talking about a Dom/ina saying Motzart was clearly superior to Bach, I'm talking about something like the boiling point of water.

While sometimes its the right thing to do to remain silent, this has little to do with being a sub or Dom/ina. Either may wish to stay silent for the sake of politeness.

However, if it seems right to reply, I don't think subs should play stupid. I'm a sub, and I flatter myself that I'm both articulate and intelligent (and humble) [sm=lol.gif]

I do try to be kind in my replies. I think you can be kind, friendly and still get the point across, if you try.

~smile~




CuriousKarma -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (11/12/2004 12:33:08 AM)


Dominus has the mentality to stir the loins of the mind and to create a spiritual lust and need that would allow him to get away with so very much! Hence the forgiveness of his acusation. Besides, if you are a sub or slave, an opinion on that is quite inconsequential!

Cheers

CuriousKarma






Irshwlf -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (11/19/2004 12:03:40 PM)

Yes, I think it takes a lot sometimes to admit when you're wrong. And I think especially so for some dominants. But, as you say, a real dominant will admit it.
I, personally, would not want to make a big deal out of correcting the dominant, and certainly not in front of others. Though, if it were an obvious gaffe and everyone but the dominant knew it was wrong, then I would try and find a humorous way correct them....lol Any sort of correction though, be it with a dominant or a submissive should be handled with tact, and not a 'aha...I got you, I'm so smart' sort of way.

Be well,
Irshwlf

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

My own view, if you are really dominant you can admit your wrong when confronted with the facts. (Again, I'm not talking about a long winded argument "proving" Ted Williams was better than Joe Dimaggio. I'm talking the equivelent of "usually the sun sets in the west."[:)])

Please reply





SunnyTawse -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (11/20/2004 6:01:05 PM)

Interesting--and fun!--series of responses. .. y'all are really quite witty!

I'd like to make a couple of comments, one of which might be just a tad bit controvesial... so I'll just toss that one out first, I guess...

This is also just a peripheral issue, but I'll mention it anyway; it concerns the phrase/concept of a sub pulling the Dom/me's chain. I expect a submissive to try pulling my chain once in a while--not that I want them to, but I'm not surprised if they do. I don't think it's something a dominant should get too worked up about. Because one responsibility of the submissive is to be open, expressive, spontaneous--ie., trusting and emotionally transparent--to their dominant, in some ways, we are asking them to be child-like. Not childish, but child-like. I don't think it's all that unusual for a submissive to give voice to many parts of that side of themselves, including behavior that is intended to evoke a response from the dominant. Sometimes it can be manipulative, but often it's less calculated than that. Any dominant worth their salt should be able to take such behavior in stride. I think our subs count on us, on a rather deep level, to take the high road, to be more or less unflappable... and I think we should make every effort to live up to that. You didn't say, but if this person who accused you of "pulling Doms chains" was a Dom/me, I'd say they have some things to learn yet.

I'm not sure, though, that the accusation and your behavior (from what I can determine) are really the same thing. I agree with pretty much everyone here that subs should always be able to speak their minds. I also agree that they should be respectful and should attempt to be tactful when they can. Like any friend or partner, it behooves us all to be supportive in a way that helps build up our friends and partners in others' eyes rather than tears them down. I'm always very uncomfortable around couples who "kid" each other in an unkind way or speak poorly of each other in front of others.

I know some of this veers off a bit from the original question. Thanks for the opportunity to say a few things that in other circumstances I might think need to be said but often wouldn't feel comfortable saying.

Sunny Tawse
Sadien Domina


Are you going to come quietly, or will I need earplugs?
-- MW of TIES






MommynDaddy -> RE: I just got an e-msail accusing me of "pulling Doms chains (11/20/2004 7:26:29 PM)

Excellent responses, for the most part. My only question is how would any of us know whether or not she was truly "pulling a Doms chain"? None of us have read the e-mail exchange and we only have her own, no offense meant here, poorly written poll and plaintive response. In regards to correcting a Dom, I think good advice has already been given in that regard. As a matter of course rules of civil society call for such gaffes to be overlooked, or at the most brought to light in a non-judgemental manner. One way of doing it is to bring up the topic at a later date and to fill in the correct information during the discussion. That being said if this is a matter that weighs heavily on you then this desire to humble your Dom may well be more indicative of a passive-aggressive nature than anything else. Not unusual in a sub or a slave, but not endearing either.

-L.




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