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MsLilac -> RE: Your vanilla persona (11/10/2007 4:47:44 AM)
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This is a very interesting thread, and have enjoyed reading the posts here.
I find it strange when I hear people say that there are ‘always’ dominant, that being their one and only defining characteristic, how tedious, annoying and psychotic would that actually be? I rarely believe it, and is at best delusional. I would hate to be that, or be around someone like that. I find that it is a lot of self ego stroking, possibly to deny the reality, that to get on and be successful in life such static qualities wouldn’t get them very far. I feel that people in general are a bit of everything, and adaptable, with a few of those characteristics being more prominent than the others. It is the adaptable opportunists that are generally more successful, talking in the broadest of senses of course.
I have found and know that in my personal romantic relationships I am happiest and the most contented with males who submits to me, and are comfortable in doing so… when I am the dominant driving force, and exercising my leadership skills.
I personally consider myself an individualist, and outsider if you will, I have very little interest in the relationship of power outside of my personal relationships, in fact, I consider it tedious. Occupationally, I can comfortably lead, or work as part of a group, mediate or work off of my own initiative. But, I am also an adaptable opportunist, and will (albeit, uncomfortable at times) conform directly, when there is benefit for myself, e.g a pay check.
I’m self employed, and whilst on the surface it seems all fairly ’dominant’, I am answerable to, and a ’slave’ for my clients. I also contract out at times, and then I am answerable to not only my clients, but to a supervisory body. No one would describe me as meek, but I certainly have to be adaptable, and ’submit’ to requests, even if at times I disagree; that is, if I want to survive. I mean, I could be ’true’ to my overriding ’dominant’, forthright, individualist nature, and continually confront someones authority and ideas, but I would get myself a bad reputation in my business, wouldn’t make money, and have to work in some less appealing environment which gives me less freedom that my current work. So, I adapt and submit - I compromise. Life is about negotiation and compromise.
I have no shame in admitting this, and someone summed it up beautifully earlier when they said they differ depending on who they are with.
So, no, I don’t think there really is any correlation between ones occupational/vanilla life and ones personal life, and the two can happily co-exist. Sometimes they can correlate, but not necessarily so. The fact that they do co-exist doesn’t reflect on either side of that coin either. For example, someone who, say, flips burgers and answerable to a whole heap of people, but has a slave at home, doesn’t make her/him any less dominant at home, or any less efficient at their work.
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