RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive

RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (Full Version)

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KatyLied -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 4:44:13 PM)
quote: but there was illustrations using stick figures that showed how to be more "helpful" for those of us that are "helpful" challenged Thank goodness they are stick figures. Anything more artistic and I would feel lacking. I would then need the guidance and support of on-line people to shore up my self-esteem. [;)]

julietsierra -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 4:58:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: but there was illustrations using stick figures that showed how to be more "helpful" for those of us that are "helpful" challenged Thank goodness they are stick figures. Anything more artistic and I would feel lacking. I would then need the guidance and support of on-line people to shore up my self-esteem. [;)] nod...and then, you'd have to admit that those online people weren't "real" "true" and all those other ideas... wait... if you're online, that would include... you. hmmm...there's always a flaw... juliet

juliaoceania -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 5:08:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: but there was illustrations using stick figures that showed how to be more "helpful" for those of us that are "helpful" challenged Thank goodness they are stick figures. Anything more artistic and I would feel lacking. I would then need the guidance and support of on-line people to shore up my self-esteem. [;)] nod...and then, you'd have to admit that those online people weren't "real" "true" and all those other ideas... wait... if you're online, that would include... you. hmmm...there's always a flaw... juliet Who wants to be real or true? I'd rather just be me, even if that me is seen as being rude, unhelpful, crass, overly blunt, not serious enough... yadda yadda yadda... the problem when we go around changing ourselves for other people to make us more "palatable" is that we fail the most important "weal" and "twue" test... we are not true to ourselves

julietsierra -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 6:45:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: but there was illustrations using stick figures that showed how to be more "helpful" for those of us that are "helpful" challenged Thank goodness they are stick figures. Anything more artistic and I would feel lacking. I would then need the guidance and support of on-line people to shore up my self-esteem. [;)] nod...and then, you'd have to admit that those online people weren't "real" "true" and all those other ideas... wait... if you're online, that would include... you. hmmm...there's always a flaw... juliet Who wants to be real or true? I'd rather just be me, even if that me is seen as being rude, unhelpful, crass, overly blunt, not serious enough... yadda yadda yadda... the problem when we go around changing ourselves for other people to make us more "palatable" is that we fail the most important "weal" and "twue" test... we are not true to ourselves I've never had a real problem with blunt or crass et al...What I have found curious is that those who have still not formed some good solid convictions and are merely exploring ideas, searching for answers without accusation are the group of people most attacked for simply asking a question. Asking how you see slavery vs submission and having the opportunity to mull your thoughts around for a bit, to take what works for me and not take what doesn't, doesn't imply anything beyond a search for understanding. However you choose to answer someone is your own choice. Taking the opportunity to inflate egos at the expense of another though..that's beyond crass. juliet

slavesunshine -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 6:56:55 PM)
Katylied, Oh my...aren't you the friendly one!!! You got your smart comment in...hurray for you. This question was posted in "Ask a Master", if you do not want to help or if you only have unkind words....then post somewhere else where someone is not asking for help. I thought that this was a community that was accepting of everyone and where questions were welcome. I am glad that I have friends that I can count on from CM and I do not have to ask my questions or ask for advise on these boards. I wish that this was a place where others rallied to help those who come here to ask questions and to seek advise. And yes I know this is also a fourm to discuss and maybe to debate. But its also a place to give and seek advise.

KatyLied -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 6:58:18 PM)
quote: This question was posted in "Ask a Master" What? Now you are going to tell me where I am permitted to post? Your domination will not work on me!

slavesunshine -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 7:07:33 PM)
No one is telling you where can post to. And what a silly comment to make.... I was not even thinking about any kind of domination. I was making a point. And you happened to prove my point exactly!

juliaoceania -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 7:08:22 PM)
quote: However you choose to answer someone is your own choice. Taking the opportunity to inflate egos at the expense of another though..that's beyond crass. I missed the posts where everyone put down the OP in an effort to make themselves important and boost their egos. I never addressed the OP myself at all. I basically have in several different ways taken the stand that people should express themselves the way they wish, and no, we are not responsible for "failing" people over the internet. You can feel a sense of failure, but I just don't. If your reference is to my ego, yes, I have a rather large one.... but I can also laugh at myself, and i do not have such an inflated sense of self that I believe that every word I type onto a message board has to be approached with such tenderness and care that if I do not say just the right thing I will have failed someone that does not know me from Eve... my ego is not quite that inflated.

susie -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 7:08:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavesunshine Katylied, Oh my...aren't you the friendly one!!! You got your smart comment in...hurray for you. This question was posted in "Ask a Master", if you do not want to help or if you only have unkind words....then post somewhere else where someone is not asking for help. I thought that this was a community that was accepting of everyone and where questions were welcome. I am glad that I have friends that I can count on from CM and I do not have to ask my questions or ask for advise on these boards. I wish that this was a place where others rallied to help those who come here to ask questions and to seek advise. And yes I know this is also a fourm to discuss and maybe to debate. But its also a place to give and seek advise. You miss the point. The OP got an answer to her question. It just happens that neither you nor the OP liked the answers she got. There was plenty of advice given but it seems that you see advice only as the sugar candy type of answer. Life is not like that. Suggesting where people can post on these fora is not up to you either. The fora are open to everyone no matter what the title of the particular forum.

juliaoceania -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 7:11:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavesunshine No one is telling you where can post to. And what a silly comment to make.... I was not even thinking about any kind of domination. I was making a point. And you happened to prove my point exactly! It really is not that serious, she was joking with you!

KatyLied -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 7:11:47 PM)
quote: There was plenty of advice given but it seems that you see advice only as the sugar candy type of answer. Life is not like that . Exactly. Why do people continue to think they should come here and be coddled and hugged when they ask questions? Why do they become upset when people mention the search function? Why do people have the misguided thought that others in the lifestyle are here to serve them and their questions? How did they function before the internet?

KatyLied -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 7:13:26 PM)
quote: It really is not that serious, she was joking with you! Yeah, but if you have to explain it, it loses the funny. I should've used the: [8D]

juliaoceania -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 7:16:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: It really is not that serious, she was joking with you! Yeah, but if you have to explain it, it loses the funny. I should've used the: [8D] Better be careful, or I will take my highly inflated ego and laugh at you

lilsubl -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 7:21:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavesunshine No one is telling you where can post to. And what a silly comment to make.... I was not even thinking about any kind of domination. I was making a point. And you happened to prove my point exactly! [:'(]

Cyntilating -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 7:28:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavesunshine Katylied, Oh my...aren't you the friendly one!!! You got your smart comment in...hurray for you. This question was posted in "Ask a Master", if you do not want to help or if you only have unkind words....then post somewhere else where someone is not asking for help. I thought that this was a community that was accepting of everyone and where questions were welcome. I am glad that I have friends that I can count on from CM and I do not have to ask my questions or ask for advise on these boards. I wish that this was a place where others rallied to help those who come here to ask questions and to seek advise. And yes I know this is also a fourm to discuss and maybe to debate. But its also a place to give and seek advise. Sunshine : ) and welcome to CM... speaking ( well typing) as someone who was told recently that " I need to posture myself a certain way on here until I have found my place with the regulars" ... sigh and hrrumpfff>[8\|] I can tell you that {I thought that this was a community that was accepting of everyone and where questions were welcome.} it would be nice if this were completely true, but it most likely isn't.. On the upside> I only posture for Master LOL and I dont have enough breath -holding capacity to hold it long enough waiting for acceptance into my rightful place LOL So I sign on...read some of what others have graciously decided to share about their experiences and perspectives and sometimes share some of mine.. I haven't been here that long..but long enough to explain that "certain topics" ( like this one) seem to ignite hostile feelings and very opinionated perspectives....generally leading to arguments and judgement calls..sarcasm replaces opinions. ( don't ask me why...don't have that answer) hopefully you will continue to post... and that other "less combustible topics" will help you see that there are those of us out here who do offer genuine open-mindedness and help in the form of shared experiences. btw you have a great smile : )

susie -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 7:28:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: It really is not that serious, she was joking with you! Yeah, but if you have to explain it, it loses the funny. I should've used the: [8D] You can get into big trouble using that on here. Don't you know you can only use [8\|] Better be careful, or I will take my highly inflated ego and laugh at you

MasterLehr1 -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 9:30:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavesunshine Politesub53, I disagree....if there are topics such as ask a Master, ask a sub/slave, etc. and questions are asked then should we not help, answer and support? I think we should. So do I. In my own opinion, a slave (in the consensual BDSM world) voluntarily defers final decisions affecting his/her life to the Master/Mistress...sans one: The right to terminate the relationship. Most Masters will still expect their slaves to provide input, opinions, and even preference...but both parties know who makes the final decision. A submissive enjoys power exchange, but still retains their right to challenge the dominant's decision at any time. Again...that's just my opinion. If you agree, great. If you don't, that's cool too.

rmanrr -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 10:57:03 PM)
Greetings To the OP...My answer is short and trite....all slaves have subs in them, not all subs have slaves in them...make sense? It does to Me.

laurell3 -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 11:07:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lyricaldreams for starters, He is the one that wants to add to the household. He told me what He wanted in my profile, and there it is. It isn't for me to question. Due to His work schedule, i don't get to spend much time with Him during the week. i really didn't think the question i asked would generate such nastiness. lyrical OP you should know as sexyred and LA already told you, the question is asked at least twice a week and there's no definitive answer to it. They are really laughing and expressing humor at that fact more than you. Almost no one here can agree on labels and definitions. The references to "no limits" slaves and others are about ongoing debates here. Find out what's right for you and stick whatever label you want on it. Contrary to what your Master told you, you can get alot of good advice and information here, albeit with sardonic humor, snarkiness and disagreement at times. This is the internet after all.

MistressStiletto -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/12/2007 5:39:24 AM)
I found an entry in DrErosInVa 's journal on this site. It is a very clear and concise statement of the differences, although many have their own shades and variations of how they view it. What follows is the text: There seems to be great confusion in many minds about the differences in the meaning of the terms Dominant and Master, and submissive and slave. Dominant and submissive describe personality traits. They are usually self descriptive, but can be determined by psychoanalysis. True Dominants tend to be controlling, while submissives tend to follow the direction of those who are Dominant. True Dominants tend to be natural leaders, while submissives tend to be natural followers. There is no implied relationship between people using these terms to describe themselves. The Dominant is merely desiring to be the leader, and the submissive is desiring to be the follower in a relationship. Any relationship between a Dominant and a submissive is a matter of what they mutually agree the terms of that relationship will be. In the context of the alternative lifestyle, a Master is a Dominant that has total control, leadership authority and responsibility for a submissive partner, usually referred to as a slave. The terms Master and slave are not personality traits, but rather define a desired relationship, or existing relationship. The slave is a submissive that surrenders all authority and control over his/her life to the Master. It must be pointed out that Master/slave relationships should be complimentary. That is complete opposites make a perfect whole. While there are some submissives/slaves that claim that they want to be objectified or reduced to mindless robots and doormats, that is actually extremely rare in practice, and such statements are usually a flight of fantasy found in the profiles of the inexperienced and uninformed. At no period in history were slaves treated as mindless robots or doormats, although there were probably rare instances of that. Slaves were given tasks to perform and usually treated well, to keep them productive and useful. And many rose to high positions of authority. For some reason, the fact that in history, prisoners were at times chained to a wall in a dungeon or prison, has crept into the minds of many so called knowledgeable novices, as defining the life of a slave in a Master/slave relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth. This is probably due to Hollywood, romantic adult fiction and listening to the uninformed. For more information about this or other aspects of the alternative lifestyle go to Wikipedia.com and use the search engine to locate what you're interested in. If you would like to discuss any aspects of this or the succeeding blog, feel free to contact me. (Entered here with his permission)

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