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New to this - 11/9/2007 10:15:58 PM

youngCTsub

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline

Hello everyone, this is my first post so I thank you all in advance for taking the time offer advice. I'm a young man who has only recently started looking for a dominant woman as I settle into life in NYC. Anyways, after attempting to contact one or two women with who I thought I would connect well with and not recieving a reply, I've decided to take a hard look at my profile and see if there's anything I can change in order to put my best foot forward. So, what I was wondering was if anyone saw anything that they they think could be changed to improve my profile? Thanks for your time!

< Message edited by youngCTsub -- 11/9/2007 10:20:57 PM >

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RE: New to this - 11/9/2007 10:49:54 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Your profile says that you haven't a clue what you want, other than not a lot of pain. This is ok, but it's what is doesn't say that speaks louder.

What do you have to offer? What kind of service are you looking to give, if any. Are you looking for a play/sex partner or are you looking for a part time or full time Ds or Ms relationship? Give a little thought about what you see happening, or not, and how you see each person behaving inside the relationship.

Also, get out into your local community. NYC is a BIG place and there's lots of groups.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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RE: New to this - 11/9/2007 10:58:54 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

Well my bit is maybe relevant only to me, but I specifically say in my profile that I'm not here to help a slave/sub, that I am here to help me. Saying you are looking for someone to help you explore your interests and limits is a bit one sided and leaves me thinking what's in it for me?

I DO applaud you for NOT having a ten page list of kinky things you want done to you though. So many do that, and it's very offputting, so don't change that at all.

The rest, well Master Fire pretty much said all I was thinking.

Good luck

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if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

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RE: New to this - 11/9/2007 11:41:56 PM

youngCTsub

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline

Hmm, thank you both very much for your advice. I can see how it could be more detailed, particularly what I could offer a potential domme. I guess that I have a rough idea of those things in my head, but I should flesh them out in the profile so that viewers will be aware. I'll be sure to take your insights into consideration when I update it soon.

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RE: New to this - 11/10/2007 3:19:40 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

Join TES asap! See http://www.tes.org/beta/

There was something going on almost every night of the week in NY when I lived there last year. There's not much in the way of clubs (probably only Paddles in 26th Street) but there's plenty of private parties

Talk to lots of people and make lots of scene friends in real life. Your chances of meeting someone really compatible in the NY scene are much higher than online (lucky you - its not so easy for peope in remote parts of the world)

_____________________________

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RE: New to this - 11/10/2007 5:26:13 AM

LaMistressa

Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline

You write well, so that's a plus. I agree w/MasterFireMaam that you need to detail what you bring to the table, and what dynamic you seek in a relationship. I completely understand the need for blurring your picture, but if you are going to do so you might pick a brighter and more flattering photo -- your picture is very dark, and your shirt is big and wrinkled on you. If you were in DC, I'd give you a big stack of shirts to iron for practice.

And definitely get out in the community in NY -- that will help you tremendously, if only to give you more information about what you are interested in or not. Best of luck!

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RE: New to this - 11/10/2007 6:16:51 AM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

Getting out to the NY scene is a great idea, as people have already stated. You don't have to join TES to go to Paddles. You can also join DomSubFriends. Although you don't have to join either you do get discounts to some parties and various fetish shops when you do.

I have a few scene friends out the NYC way, and I'm helping one of them with the RubberBall in January. TES is hosting a rubber fasion show at Paddles on Saturday the 17th from 8-4 (I think). You can check out the information on the Paddles yahoo group or the TES or DomSubFriends web sites. That might be an easier way for you to slide in there if you are feeling shy. There is no playing during the fashion show but I'm assuming a lot of the "regular"NYC scene people will be there.

My pet and I will probably go that night so if you want to go with us email me on the profile side.

-Lady Jag (Psy)

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
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RE: New to this - 11/10/2007 7:04:02 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I lived in NYC so I know there are many groups there.

Besides TES, you have to pay to attend every meeting, you might want to check out the AppleMunch -- I think it is still called that though I don't know who hosts it now.

You might also try to find Conversio Virium if you are younger, under 30. It's a Columbia University group that is open to the public (or at least it was when I was on the steering committee) but you unless you are a Columbia student you can't be an official member.

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RE: New to this - 11/11/2007 3:42:31 PM

youngCTsub

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline

Thank you to everyone who responded. There were many suggestions and tips, not only for my profile, but pertaining to my situation in New York as well. I'm very grateful for your time and advice and I hope to puta lot of it into practice. As far as my profile goes, I did update it today, trying to factor in the various suggestions that I was offered. If anyone else would like to comment, I would love to get an opinion on this revised entry. I also added a second pic, although once again blurred my face. I was wondering though if this was even a good idea? Does it really make a difference to put blurred face photo up as opposed to posting nothing? Anyways, once again thank you for all your help and I look forward to exploring more online, as well as the various groups and locations available in the city.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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