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Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/3/2004 9:52:03 AM

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/13/2004
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Hi all. There are a lot of doms out here who say they will not respond to anyone who does not send out a photo. Lots of those doms do not have photos of themselves posted, and there is no way of knowing whether that person is real or not. I am concerned that someone would use my photo for improper purposes. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice about this?

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/3/2004 11:58:35 AM

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ToiletBoy,

Back in the day a face shot from a sub was practically required. Now she better damn well prove she is for real and wont use the fact I'm George W. Bush against me.

Seriously, a face shot is potetially blackmail material. If she has proven herself OK (by whatever definition you want to use) then a fully clothed face shot that is completely deniable is OK.

Never send the picture of you having sex with a duck!

(Even if you share a quacking fetish.)

< Message edited by iwillserveu -- 7/10/2004 10:42:32 AM >

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to ToiletBoy)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/3/2004 12:53:56 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

Personally, I put my full name, my home phone number and several pictures of myself on my website. I am not ashamed of anything I do, let 'em try and blackmail me. I'll get evidence of their crime and blackmail 'em back. *wink*

If I don't get a picture of a slave, I do not begin serious correspondance. If I do not get a phone number, I do not even start negotiations. I am real, I expect the same.

Yours,
Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to ToiletBoy)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/3/2004 2:44:50 PM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

Ah, another of the age old questions in the BDSM Universe. I require a g-rated photo with the initial email. I have found that by doing so that I don't get nearly as much "junk" mail as I have in the past. When a male sends me an email, he is either serious...or he's not. Nuff said.

And iwill, your picture with the duck is my favorite!!!

(*note I used an emoticon there!!!) lol

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/3/2004 3:24:20 PM

Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline

I do not send over the e-waves pictures of myself, neither do I require them of the males that apply to me. What I do require is a truthful description, and the status of their health and marital status. If someone is looking for eye candy without the heart of a sub/slave, then they can go to www.eyecandy.com. I feel the same way about sub/slaves seeking a dominant. A serious male is online when he says he will be, he responds to me when I chat with him. Then we progress to phone, as I have a cell phone, that is what I use. I expect any male applying to me to be as concerned with keeping the vanilla world away from my door as he is own. I am not ashamed of what I am, but neither do I want my family and/or employer to be privy to my private life. IF you feel comfortable sending a pic to an individual then by all means that is your choice. I am not making a judgement for others. And of course the ones that do not show a face lack the ability to harm you. In all things, be safe. Sundew

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~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to ToiletBoy)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/3/2004 4:55:23 PM

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Joined: 6/5/2004
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IMO. This is an Internet forum, there is never a way to make sure a person is real, until you take it to real life. You never have the complete security of knowing if someone is going to use your picture for improper purposes. All you can do is minimize the damage done. Send a G rated picture and cross your fingers. At worst, you send it to someone who knows you in real life and in that case, they'll have no room to talk, since they were the one who requested/demanded it........ Unless, you have something you are seriously hiding. In which case, all there is to do is ignore those who want a picture.

Hope that helps,
Razor

(in reply to ToiletBoy)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/3/2004 5:11:13 PM

Posts: 203
Joined: 3/23/2004
Status: offline

For me, I have a stranger problem, and that's the fact that in about 10 years, I haven't taken a single picture of myself. I've never really had the reason to do so. Sure, I'm in pictures with other people, and people have taken pictures of me (which they never gave me), but I realize as I join different groups that I've been throwing out the same picture from a long time ago.

So, today, considering the fact that I own a digital camera, I set up the tripod and took a picture of myself and made it my new profile picture. I really should have shaved and all that first, but I decided that I was going to give a picture of me at THAT moment for the first time in ages. I'm not Tom Cruise nor do I look like Patrick Swayze, but I'm me, and it actually felt kind of cool to actually put up a current picture of myself that didn't result in the camera running and screaming in the opposite direction.

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Give a man a fish, he eats for a day...
...teach a man to fish, he steals your fishing hole and then charges you for the fish.

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RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/3/2004 5:55:47 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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You are a Dom. Tying someone up is more socailly acceptable than being tied up by someone. Well, for men anyway.

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When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/3/2004 6:03:12 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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How do you know those pictures are real? BTW, I look like a cross between John Candy and Don Knotts not like the Fabios pictures I sent.

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When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/3/2004 9:55:22 PM

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

How do you know those pictures are real?

Anyone who wants to be sure someone is real can request they get on cam, and if they don't have one request they get one.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/4/2004 3:11:59 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

Anyone who wants to be sure someone is real can request they get on cam, and if they don't have one request they get one.

Only works Domina to sub. (I have no idea about Doms and female subs.)

If she says "it makes my system crash" is the sub going to order the Domina to do it anyway?

If he says "it'll make my system crash" and She says "Do it and reboot without the cam," is he going to say "No."?

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to proudsub)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/4/2004 3:45:33 PM

MistressZanthia

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline

As I have photos up all over the web, including my own site, I don't worry about blackmail. What's someone gonna do? Tell my parents - my employer? I am my own employer. And my parents know what I do, they always have. Paranoia, is really ungrounded here.

I don't ask photos of professional subs for obvious reasons (unless they have a blackmail fetish they want me to cater to, but even then it's safe, all bark no bite), but if a boy is applying for a personal relationship, the photo had best come with the first email, or I won't bother with correspondance. If he doesn't appeal to my eye and mind in that critical first email... he's not going to get a response.

Like anyone has time to bother with trying to blackmail anyone for anything. I value my reputation in the BDSM Community... which is far more important than any amount of money, I think you'll find this true of most Dominas. Check with your local support groups, etc first to see if anyone knows her, if you are that worried.

_____________________________

~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/5/2004 4:51:22 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

but if a boy is applying for a personal relationship, the photo had best come with the first email, or I won't bother with correspondance. If he doesn't appeal to my eye and mind in that critical first email... he's not going to get a response.

- MistressZanthia

Zanthia,

Usually my first few posts responding to someone with "Mistress" in her handle has "Mistress" before I drop it, but I've read your posts.

)

Let's define picture here. How about a headless naked shot as a compromise?

quote:

Like anyone has time to bother with trying to blackmail anyone for anything. I value my reputation in the BDSM Community... which is far more important than any amount of money, I think you'll find this true of most Dominas

- MistressZanthia

For lack of a better word, most "real" Dominas don't send bulk e-mails to little piggies who can serve me finacially too. In this forum there is no way to tell who is "real". (God, I hate that term.

)

< Message edited by iwillserveu -- 7/5/2004 4:55:01 AM >

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/5/2004 8:48:37 PM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Im with You Taggard
everything about Me
is Public record and there
is nothing for Me to
hide and My phone #
addresses and businesses
are well knowin in My
community in two countrys
not to mention the city
council, county council, where
Im living presently and the
public at large whom
Im running absolutly bonkers
about getting open My Public
Dungeon and Adult store here
in Rual Florida where the rules
say they are both NO NO's. But
of course Im fightin to change.
Yano I dont take No for a answer.

If your not secure with who you
are yet, do not show others who
you are especially in a lifestyle
that is against whats concidered
norm. Just say No.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/5/2004 9:08:51 PM

Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

Personally ...

.. I don't WANT a picture.

I'm not remotely interested in someone's shell, I want to know who they ARE, not what they look like.

When I'm asked if I wish to see their pics, I politely decline. I have no inner need to see them until after I feel I actually know them a little, and then - only then - do I find it nice to place a FACE to the name. Note the FACE. I care nothing for the body.

The body is the shell.

I'm interested in the mind, the soul, the heart, the motivations, the goals, hopes, and dreams.

The rest is not important to me.

~ShadeDiva

_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/8/2004 5:48:38 PM

Posts: 90
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

I'm a little extra careful about photos and my phonenumber, due to 2 stalking incidents... one by a net-nut, the other by a guy's wife that I did not know about. Ahh, the good old days, when I could just change my dorm room to confuse a silly stalker. At any rate - here are my suggestions. I like photos, and expect them, but I don't require a face. I always ask for just a cell phone number, and explain that I do not have a cell at this time and won't give out my number at this time, but as a return I'm willing to take the cost of the calls, if any. Anywho - photos. You could cut it off at the neck - I think that looks better than a blopped out face. You could also do the delightful trick of wearing a blindfold (even a tie will work, they're great for so many things!) and a gag or strip of duct tape over your mouth and take a bust shot. I doubt the guys at work will recognize you now, the kinky bastards. You can also assume a position you feel works for you, with your back/side to the cam, and head down. Unless you have distinct birthmarks everyone knows about, you should be safe. There are many ways to eroticly hide your face... just please don't resport to a close-up of your ass or crotch. Never once has this sort of photo EVER appealed to me or anyone I talk about the topic with, unless its all done up in bondage.

(in reply to ToiletBoy)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/8/2004 9:15:01 PM

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Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

Hello,

A photo is not always a good indicator of a person...

http://www.fanta.dk/news.asp?nid=756019C4-33C9-4253-A3C2-1955E12526F6

Sinergy

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David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Spankinatrix)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/9/2004 10:28:42 AM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

As I have photos up all over the web, including my own site, I don't worry about blackmail. What's someone gonna do? Tell my parents - my employer? I am my own employer. And my parents know what I do, they always have. Paranoia, is really ungrounded here.
-- MistressZanthia

That is because you choose to be open about such things and that’s all fine. I respect you for your openness.

However, I choose not to be open about my kink lifestyle, perhaps partially because of my career, most mostly because I’m a private person. I have absolutely no shame about who I am and it is I do but that doesn’t mean that I necessarily want to share it with everyone. The people closest to me know and that's all that matters to me. That said, if someone finds out, then I'm not going to get overly freaked out about it. I figure they would have to be lurking in these circles themselves.
_________

As for meeting sub men or women...

I usually ask for a good description and if they have a photo, then I will accept it. But only to get an idea. The mental appeal is always stronger then the physical appeal for me.

Also, there is no point in anyone lying as I do not Domme online, but rather only in person. I spend a bit of time chatting online to get to know the person but I move towards a face to face meeting quickly. I usually send my photo when I have an idea that this might work out. I guess they'll have to be who they claim to be when we meet up...

LadyAngelika

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/10/2004 5:30:34 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

In this forum there is no way to tell who is "real". (God, I hate that term.)

Me too, very much so. "Real" and "true." They always seem to need a qualifying statement afterwards because they are such subjective terms.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Sending out photos to a stranger - 7/10/2004 5:49:25 AM

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Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Original: Sundew02

If someone is looking for eye candy without the heart of a sub/slave, then they can go to www.eyecandy.com.

For the record...i went to www.eyecandy.com and all i found was an offer to buy some sort of graphics program from a company called, "Alien Skin Software"....how icky!

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to MizSuz)

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