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RE: A General Question for submissives - 8/29/2005 5:40:33 PM

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From: Los Angeles, CA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ragdoll

Maybe i'm in the "minority" of bisexuals, but if i were in a commited relationship with a man... i would not "have this need to have a relationship with a woman too". i would not feel like i need to have "both" at the same time, dating a man and a woman at once.

Why do people assume that bisexuals need to have "both a man and a woman"?? That bisexuals must be involved with both?

Ragdoll,

You're not in a minority, i agree with you whole-heartedly. I list on my profile that i'm bisexual because i have had longterm relationships with both men and women. But, I am strictly monogamous. Just because I am involved with a woman doesn't mean i can't wait to cheat on her to be with a guy. If i'm in love with her, why would i need someone else??

I fall in love with a PERSON, not with what's between their legs. It's what's in your head and your heart that matters to me, not what's in your pants.

Stef

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 8/29/2005 6:15:16 PM

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Joined: 5/20/2005
From: New England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Euryanx

Ragdoll,

You're not in a minority, i agree with you whole-heartedly. I list on my profile that i'm bisexual because i have had longterm relationships with both men and women. But, I am strictly monogamous. Just because I am involved with a woman doesn't mean i can't wait to cheat on her to be with a guy. If i'm in love with her, why would i need someone else??

I fall in love with a PERSON, not with what's between their legs. It's what's in your head and your heart that matters to me, not what's in your pants.

Stef

:) i'm glad to hear i'm not in the minority.... *grins*

The last part of what you said made me chuckle because i've said it so many times myself. It was really refreshing to hear someone else say it too: "I fall in love with a PERSON, not with what's between their legs." ~ of course you added: "It's what's in your head and your heart that matters to me, not what's in your pants." which makes it even nicer.

-

(in reply to Euryanx)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 8/29/2005 7:13:52 PM

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quote:

i know most people here are denying it (except for nella).. but i believe that if most women (who are bisexual themselves but are "against" being with a bisexual man) were completely honest in their hearts they would say that they do have a "double standard".
....proudsub's suggestion also sounds realistic... HIV is more common among gay and bisexual males .. so that could be a very valid concern........

Bingo! i never denied anything...

...but yes this would be my concern jsut as hep B would be my concern....why? I HAVE to have an HIV test, and my Hep B titers done yearly for the rest of my lfe because i worked in Zimbabwe and was in close contact with hundreds of actively + HIV folk and those with Hep B.

Now if durng a scene my Dom decided to do something out of character and share His cock with the other Dom or guy ....i think i would be inoxicated with the surprise of it all...after all, i dont leave nothing past Him.....

but i dont like the idea that a general implication like.....
"The issue is the implied statement female bisexuals good, and male bisexuals bad" is made...i jsut dont see it...
Maybe i am just stupid, but i never saw that implied.... maybe i wasnt looking when the football hit my head!!

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 8/30/2005 11:31:10 AM

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quote:

Maybe i'm in the "minority" of bisexuals, but if i were in a commited relationship with a man... i would not "have this need to have a relationship with a woman too". i would not feel like i need to have "both" at the same time, dating a man and a woman at once.

SAME with if i'm dating a woman, i would not need to "date a man on the side". i wouldn't tell a woman i was dating that she had to "agree that i could fuck men sometimes". i would never say that or suggest that or need that.

Why do people assume that bisexuals need to have "both a man and a woman"?? That bisexuals must be involved with both?

ragdoll

My apologies ragdoll. It appears i do not understand bisexuality at all.

pinkpleasures

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(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 8/30/2005 12:03:33 PM

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quote:

My apologies ragdoll. It appears i do not understand bisexuality at all.

pinkpleasures

===================

giggling chuckling.........tongue-in-cheek....

whats not to understand? smirk....wink....the gate swings both ways lil missy. ya hear me, pil-grim?

wolf

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"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/1/2005 6:14:11 PM

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quote:

giggling chuckling.........tongue-in-cheek....

whats not to understand? smirk....wink....the gate swings both ways lil missy. ya hear me, pil-grim?

lonewolf05

Well, Sir, if so, how could a bisexual Man be monogamous with a woman? Just by sacrificing a part of Himself? That seems undesirable.

pinkpleasures

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(in reply to lonewolf05)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/1/2005 6:35:32 PM

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a man or woman can enjoy sex with the same sex but prefer opposite sex or even be monogomous with the opposite sex, in order to please the one they obey and honor and respect and trust the most in this world.

~~shy

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/1/2005 7:52:29 PM

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Joined: 3/17/2005
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I am not bi-curious, never have been. I AM looking for a dominant man, and personally I would find it hard to think of him that way if he liked to take it up the ass. This just my personal opinion, as I know it works fine for many. Just not for me.

I have experienced the two guys, one girl scenario. A birthday gift from an ex. It would not have been as much fun if I wanted the 2nd guy's dick in my mouth or ass, but couldn't have it because it was in my then boyfriend's dick or ass. Just a turn off for me. Oh, yea, and I am kind of selfish that way. I would prefer all the dick be for me.

(in reply to slavedesires)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/1/2005 9:05:11 PM

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I thought you could only legally bi sex in Nevada?

(in reply to FLButtSlut)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/1/2005 11:41:28 PM

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i agree with you FLButtSlut

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(in reply to FLButtSlut)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/2/2005 12:40:08 AM

Posts: 231
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: New England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures

quote:

giggling chuckling.........tongue-in-cheek....

whats not to understand? smirk....wink....the gate swings both ways lil missy. ya hear me, pil-grim?

lonewolf05

Well, Sir, if so, how could a bisexual Man be monogamous with a woman? Just by sacrificing a part of Himself? That seems undesirable.

pinkpleasures

Can i ask what it is about what Euryanx and i said that you don't understand?

We are both bisexuals would would not feel we would be "sacrificing" a part of ourselves by dating someone of one gender only.

Let me put it reeeeeeeeeally simple (overly simplified - even), in a way you might be able to relate to.

Have you ever dated a man with brown hair, pinkpleasures?
Did you ever enjoy dating the man with brown hair? Would you be open to dating another brown-haired man in the future?

Have you ever dated a man with blond hair?
Did you ever enjoy dating a man with blond hair? Would you be open to dating another man with blond hair some time in the future?

(perhaps you can guess where i'm going with this already, but if not).

If you were to find a man to date now... someone to be your master.. or boyfriend.. or whatever... Lets say you start dating... start building a relationship.. she's a really grand guy... but he has blond hair....

By exclusively dating this blond haired man would you feel like you were "sacrificing your like of brown haired men by not dating one of them too!"... and what about RED headed men, perhaps you would need to date one of those too, less you be stifled....

See how that's kinda silly?

You could date a blond man without feeling like you were "giving up brown haired men".
i can date a woman without feeling like i'm "giving up on men".

i can do that because just like YOU don't need to date two men of varying hair colours at the same time. i don't need to date two people of varying "sex organs" at the same time.

i don't feel i'm giving something up by doing that.

Granted, i'm sure there are bisexual people who want a man and woman at the same time. But so what... there are straight people who date two people at once. But not every straight person needs to have "two lovers of the opposite genders at the same time".. and not every bisexual person needs to have "two lovers, one of each gender, at the same time"........

does that make even the teenie-tiniest amount of sense?

*hopes*

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/2/2005 1:22:49 AM

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Joined: 7/2/2005
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i have a question to ask on this topic please .... Master has told me He would allow me
permission to be romantically involved with a women as He doesnt consider it to be really
sex because it's a woman not a man. ..... this girl doesn't understand this.
being that W/we are monogomous another partner to me becomes poly to me.
i find it confusing He'd feel this way.
i've been with woman in the past & pardon me for saying this but it was very much as real as
my relationship with Master is now. please forgive my ignorance here but i'm at a loss on this
one, any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you for listening.

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to Euryanx)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/2/2005 1:29:22 AM

Posts: 231
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dracironsgirl

i have a question to ask on this topic please .... Master has told me He would allow me
permission to be romantically involved with a women as He doesnt consider it to be really
sex because it's a woman not a man. ..... this girl doesn't understand this.
being that W/we are monogomous another partner to me becomes poly to me.
i find it confusing He'd feel this way.
i've been with woman in the past & pardon me for saying this but it was very much as real as
my relationship with Master is now. please forgive my ignorance here but i'm at a loss on this
one, any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you for listening.

It seems to me like your master does not believe that you (at least) could develop serious feelings for another woman that might weaken your attachment to him. He considers women not to be a threat. However... apparently he believes you like men more... and thus a man could be a potential threat.

Besides.. a lot of men seem to think two girls together is "cute" and "harmless" and "a big turn on for the man"... ~

i also admit to wondering if in the "back" of your master's mind he wants to do a 3-some.. but is trying to ease into that by getting you to start a relationship with a woman on your own.. and them him manuevering in on that. ~ but, of course i don't know your master at all so i have no idea if that's what he's doing.

Best thing to probably do is specifically ask him about it. ^_^ (there are really smart people on this Board too though - and i'm sure they can give way better answers than i just did!)

(in reply to Dracironsgirl)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/2/2005 1:55:55 AM

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[/quote]

It seems to me like your master does not believe that you (at least) could develop serious feelings for another woman that might weaken your attachment to him. He considers women not to be a threat. However... apparently he believes you like men more... and thus a man could be a potential threat.

Besides.. a lot of men seem to think two girls together is "cute" and "harmless" and "a big turn on for the man"... ~

i also admit to wondering if in the "back" of your master's mind he wants to do a 3-some.. but is trying to ease into that by getting you to start a relationship with a woman on your own.. and them him manuevering in on that. ~ but, of course i don't know your master at all so i have no idea if that's what he's doing.

Best thing to probably do is specifically ask him about it. ^_^ (there are really smart people on this Board too though - and i'm sure they can give way better answers than i just did!)
[/quote]

thank you for ragdoll, i appreciate your imput greatly. =)
i took your advice and spoke to Master about it, He said that is not what He is not wanting
to have a 3-some, ....your post made sense to me, but Master said no.
maybe it is not for me to understand His reasonings behind His thinking, yet it remains a
nagging question to be answered in my mind ....

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/2/2005 4:23:54 AM

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Joined: 7/18/2005
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YES most men see women having sex as "harmless" and "not real sex" and "purely a turn-on for the man". (He might be very surprised if they one day prefer each other over him...)

NO when you're bi you don't need to be with both a woman and a man at the same time. Most bisexuals are monogamous. As already said, its the person you fall in in love with.

Most bisexuals also have grades of "bi-ness" - you're usually not all 50/50 bi. Some are leaning more towards their own sex, some towards their opposite sex. Its normal to change your preference with time - since the more experience you got, the more you know what you want.
I am bi, but consider myself now 70/30 or 80/20 towards men... I want a man as a life partner but wouldn't mind playing with girls or having a girlfriend or sister sub if my dom should choose that. I would be hesitant towards a bi dom thou, althou I would love to play with 2 bi men once (I think thats sexy - a "proper" 3some...), mainly because he wouldnt be as macho/manly in my eyes, and also because of the possibility of STDs - as already said. But if he apart from the bisexuality was the perfect dom for me - I wouldnt dump him for that. No way!

_____________________________

"Family... means: nobody is left behind..."

(in reply to Dracironsgirl)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/2/2005 8:14:25 AM

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deleted.

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 9/2/2005 8:20:28 AM >

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(in reply to FLButtSlut)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/2/2005 8:19:21 AM

Posts: 1114
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quote:

Granted, i'm sure there are bisexual people who want a man and woman at the same time. But so what... there are straight people who date two people at once. But not every straight person needs to have "two lovers of the opposite genders at the same time".. and not every bisexual person needs to have "two lovers, one of each gender, at the same time"........

does that make even the teenie-tiniest amount of sense?

*hopes*

ragdol

i completely agree that monogamy is rejected or embraced by P/pl of all stripes. My question is simple (maybe simpleminded) : How can a bisexual Man make a lifetime commitment to be monogamous to me? What about His need/want for sex with men? i'd like to be all that He wants. (And i am asking; i know only what i have learnt since jan '04 about bisexual P/pl; so i do appreciate Your responses.)

pinkpleasures

_____________________________

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/2/2005 8:28:51 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
How can a bisexual Man make a lifetime commitment to be monogamous to me?

Bisexual does not equal poly. Bisexual means "attracted to people of both genders."

Married men are usually still attracted to women after they get married. That doesn't mean they want relationships with them , the same is true for bisexuals.

quote:

What about His need/want for sex with men?

Bisexual doesn't mean "needs to always have sex with both men and women." It's being attracted to both men and women. A married man still might want sex with other women after he's married, that doesn't mean he NEEDS it or feels he's lacking because he isn't getting it. THe same is true of bisexuals.

Many bisexuals are monogamous- they want one relationship with one other person. It just so happens that this person can be their gender or not their gender.

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/2/2005 8:39:32 AM

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From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
How can a bisexual Man make a lifetime commitment to be monogamous to me?

Bisexual does not equal poly. Bisexual means "attracted to people of both genders."

Married men are usually still attracted to women after they get married. That doesn't mean they want relationships with them , the same is true for bisexuals.

quote:

What about His need/want for sex with men?

Bisexual doesn't mean "needs to always have sex with both men and women." It's being attracted to both men and women. A married man still might want sex with other women after he's married, that doesn't mean he NEEDS it or feels he's lacking because he isn't getting it. THe same is true of bisexuals.

Many bisexuals are monogamous- they want one relationship with one other person. It just so happens that this person can be their gender or not their gender.

Well said Emerald

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

RE: A General Question for submissives - 9/2/2005 9:09:38 AM

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
i completely agree that monogamy is rejected or embraced by P/pl of all stripes. My question is simple (maybe simpleminded) : How can a bisexual Man make a lifetime commitment to be monogamous to me? What about His need/want for sex with men? i'd like to be all that He wants. (And i am asking; i know only what i have learnt since jan '04 about bisexual P/pl; so i do appreciate Your responses.)

pinkpleasures[/font][/size][/color]

It might be simpler if you stopped thinking in male/female terms and just thought "other people."

Now listen to your question rephrased: "How can a man make a lifetime commitment to be monogamous to me? What about His need/want for sex with other people?" or even "How can a man make a lifetime commitment to be monogamous to me? What about His need/want for sex with other women?"

Now does it seem clearer?

The bi people I've known haven't had a need to HAVE sex with both sexes. They've simply been OPEN to it.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

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