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A friend of a friend... - 11/11/2007 7:09:45 PM

ReaderSub

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Joined: 5/10/2007
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A friend (male) of a friend (female) called me tonight and during our conversation, we were talking about our mutual friend's ex-husband. The male friend, I will call him Bob, said, "You know, I can see ________ (ex-husband) being involved in some weird sex stuff."

"Like what?" I asked Bob.

"Well,you know...I see him wearing a latex suit with a ball gag stuffed in his mouth being led around on a leash. You know, really weird and gross stuff like that." Bob said.

I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing because all I could think of was that that is a fantasy of mine. Obviously Bob has no kink factor (or at least that I could see concerning gags and leashes) and it really made me laugh because he probably thinks I am "normal".

Has anyone else had a conversation similiar to this and had to just laugh inside?

Post #: 1

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/11/2007 7:20:03 PM

completenz

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
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oh yes lol
i used to work in a video store and one of my workmates was very straight. We were processing some new adult dvds one day when she commented how gross anal sex was ( not that she had ever tried it you understand) She also said she couldnt see why women shaved their pussies. i just crossed my legs, feeling the smoothness of no knickers or hair and smiled inside at the memory of the night before. i was her boss, she really had no idea what she was missing

(in reply to ReaderSub)

Post #: 2

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/11/2007 7:34:59 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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He might not be kinky...or he might be kinky but convinced that others see it a "weird and gross" so he goes along with it. Kinda like when het boys and girls are kids and swear members of the opposite sex are 'yucky', yet, two months later, they have a BF/GF.

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 11/11/2007 7:35:23 PM >

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RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/11/2007 8:10:58 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
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From: Phx AZ
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OOOooh yes , and one example i can think of is several years back i went to a halloween party dressed as "the gimp" nobody knew who i was and i heard and observed alot ,the end of the night i took off the hood and people were like wow where did you rent that costume .Duhh my closet yet i just smiled .And after hearing people speak about me and other s 1/2 the night too I even had a couple of goth pals tell me this is the way we live not like some people who dress up once a year . I thought to myself yeah if you only knew .Left the party soon after .

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 4

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/11/2007 8:57:59 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I've had people at a munch group go on for awhile in a discussion about how they couldn't understand switches and then finally asked my opinion and I started with "Well, as a switch..." Since we'd only been around for awhile, the slip up made sense, but it was a prime moment.

At a record convention the other week some older gentleman was going through records next to me and asked if there were any Rolling Stones in the book next to me. I said I wasn't sure. He flipped through a few pages and said "Nope, just some guys cock. Enough of that, I can barely handle that one I have"

Now, I just couldn't let that one go and said with a smile "Oh it just takes practice"

He blustered "OK well I'm sure you know better than I do, I don't need to go down that road"

I said "Hey you opened the door starting to talk about cocks" then we both laughed and he walked off shaking his head.

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Post #: 5

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/11/2007 11:05:14 PM

Kana

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Joined: 10/24/2006
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I work with a guy who is pretty out there funny in a wild sort of way. We have a female coworker who likes him and he was debating whether to pursue her. The advantage, she sexy in that goth chick sort of way, the disadvantage , she's neurotic in that goth chick sort of way.In the middle of our talk she comes up and BOOM, he asks her out, I'm standing there like WTF?. So she leaves I say whats with that dude and he says, "Ifs shes creepy, she's gotta be freaky." I find out later he used to spin records at Crucible.
Killed me dead.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/11/2007 11:29:29 PM

neloangelo1227

Posts: 22
Joined: 5/24/2007
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Just the other day I was eating dinner with my friend, and I was talking about someone I'd met on CM. My friend knows I'm in the lifestyle, but isn't really familiar with any of the details. The person I was talking about had just ended a relationship with her Domme, and upon hearing this, my friend commented, "I can't see how anyone in a consistent BDSM relationship could be even halfway mentally stable. Maybe the Dom. Maybe." I kind of smirked and decided it was a little too obvious to just shoot back, "Well, I'm a sub in a consistent BDSM relationship," so all I said was, "I'm down with it."

(Besides, if I had used the first response, he would simply have said: "Since when are you mentally stable?!" We have fun, we have fun!)

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 7

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/11/2007 11:36:53 PM

downkitty

Posts: 224
Joined: 10/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: neloangelo1227

Just the other day I was eating dinner with my friend, and I was talking about someone I'd met on CM. My friend knows I'm in the lifestyle, but isn't really familiar with any of the details. The person I was talking about had just ended a relationship with her Domme, and upon hearing this, my friend commented, "I can't see how anyone in a consistent BDSM relationship could be even halfway mentally stable. Maybe the Dom. Maybe." I kind of smirked and decided it was a little too obvious to just shoot back, "Well, I'm a sub in a consistent BDSM relationship," so all I said was, "I'm down with it."

(Besides, if I had used the first response, he would simply have said: "Since when are you mentally stable?!" We have fun, we have fun!)

I've decided that no one is mentally stable. When I meet someone who is, I am open to changing my mind. :P

Respectfully,

Amy

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(in reply to neloangelo1227)

Post #: 8

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/12/2007 12:44:04 AM

probablyknowme

Posts: 1875
Joined: 9/19/2007
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I have a friend who was telling me about her daughter getting her labia pierced, and she *gasp* wears jewelry "down there!" I smiled and nodded in that understanding way I have, while I crossed my legs and felt mine rub on the seam of my jeans.

kat

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Post #: 9

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/12/2007 1:38:26 AM

julietsierra

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Sitting at dinner one evening with the whole family (Parents, grandparents, other family members, the whole crew), my mother (all aghast) says to my father, sitting at the other end of the table, "I just saw a bumper sticker on a car, It said "Spank Me!" Can you imagine driving down the road and seeing that on one of your daughters' cars?! That was terrible!! I can't imagine..." (and began her rant.)

Meanwhile, near the other end of the table, my adult son (who is aware of what I do)was sitting across from me. Both of us had just taken a sip of water/milk at the same time. We looked at each other, clapped hands over our mouths and even though we tried not to, we both spurted out what we were drinking as we burst into laughter. We laughed so hard we had tears running down our faces - and my mother and father just looked at each other like we'd lost our minds. My mother tried to ask that same question again when we were calmer, but each time she did, we dissolved in belly-aching gales of laughter till she just gave up and went back to eating. I have no idea why she brought that up, but it sure did make that evening fun.

juliet

(in reply to probablyknowme)

Post #: 10

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/12/2007 9:04:25 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

I have. The difference between you and I is that I challenge their opinions.

"Wow Bob, what about that makes you so uncomfortable?"

"Bob, I'd not pegged you for being such an uptight guy. What freaks you out so much about two consenting adults having fun?"

"Bob, if I didn't know better, I would think that your freaking out about this is indicative of your own repressed fantasies!"

"So that's why you dig CSI. Mistress Heather is hot....."

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(in reply to ReaderSub)

Post #: 11

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/12/2007 9:12:26 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

I lived on the second floor of an apartment complex once. The spare room was a sitting room/convertible dungeon and there was a cross in it. However, the room was set up in a western theme and the cross hung out in the open, on the wall, sideways. The sideways cross looked just like a corral fence with a lasso, bullwhip, gun holster and cow skull on it. The Master bedroom was fitted with a D ring for chaining up slaves at night.

Soon after the people downstairs moved out, the neighbor across the hall befriended us. After a week or so she says asks us about potatoes. She mentions that she doesn’t see any large quantity of potatoes and says, “I have to confess, I like you guys and the guy downstairs was pretty grumpy. He said all kinds of crazy things about hearing ‘the ghost of Christmas past’ rattling chains and strange thumping at all hours of the night. He said it sounded like you guys dropped sacks of potatoes on the floor at night over and over again.” …there she was, in the sitting room , under that sideways cross, asking about strange noises because she finally deemed us as sane.
Unknown to us, despite carpeting, the chain linkage clicking noise carried straight through the floor and apparently when flogging someone on the cross, it also carried as a rhythmic sound like potato sacks hitting the floor. We smiled and nodded at her while in full view of the cross and agreed that the guy downstairs was pretty goofy.

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Post #: 12

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/12/2007 11:40:13 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

A friend (male) of a friend (female) called me tonight and during our conversation, we were talking about our mutual friend's ex-husband. The male friend, I will call him Bob, said, "You know, I can see ________ (ex-husband) being involved in some weird sex stuff." "Well,you know...I see him wearing a latex suit with a ball gag stuffed in his mouth being led around on a leash. You know, really weird and gross stuff like that." Bob said.

Has anyone else had a conversation similar to this and had to just laugh inside?

Rs,
As much as I love to laugh, in the instance you describe I would have used my standard method of dealing with prejudicial people. I personalize the issue.

For example, when in the company of someone makes a racist joke or comment; I tell them my mother is black. The same holds with any type of prejudice or ridiculous belief.

In this case - I most likely would have said something like; "ummmm, maybe I should invite him to my next latex dungeon party." Whether you have a dungeon or go to dungeon parties, this method usually stops the person in their tracks.

You say he is you "friend". Granted there is a vast range of the definition; however the opportunity to address prejudice should always be acted upon and challenged. At this point you know "really weird and gross" in your friend's mind is defined as a latex suit, ball gag, and leash. You may not change that perspective but you just may have the opportunity to have him respect that one person's "weird and gross" is another's fantasy come true. Is that worthy your effort?

Getting one person to appreciate the importance of respecting another, whether in regards to race or sexual practice, just may change the way they interact with people down the road. As a "friend" you have the best opportunity to point out how silly racist and sexist beliefs are. I've represented myself as "gay", a "pot-head", black, Mexican, and a whole bunch of other things when confronted with ignorant based prejudice. I wouldn't back down regarding someone disrespecting what I consider to be a major cornerstone of life. I sure wouldn't back down from what I would take disrespect of any aspect of submission which is fundamental to beth's personal identity.

I like putting a face to the prejudice and ask the "hero" if that's how they really feel about me now that I am "one of them". If nothing else, the exercise provides a clearer definition of "friend" and determines is "acquaintance" is a more appropriate label.

Laugh? My goal would be to hear nervous giggling from the other side of the table when I asked if they wanted to be at the other end of my leash, while I sadistically grinned at them.

(in reply to ReaderSub)

Post #: 13

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/12/2007 12:19:06 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I've had people at a munch group go on for awhile in a discussion about how they couldn't understand switches and then finally asked my opinion and I started with "Well, as a switch..." Since we'd only been around for awhile, the slip up made sense, but it was a prime moment.

At a record convention the other week some older gentleman was going through records next to me and asked if there were any Rolling Stones in the book next to me. I said I wasn't sure. He flipped through a few pages and said "Nope, just some guys cock. Enough of that, I can barely handle that one I have"

Now, I just couldn't let that one go and said with a smile "Oh it just takes practice"

He blustered "OK well I'm sure you know better than I do, I don't need to go down that road"

I said "Hey you opened the door starting to talk about cocks" then we both laughed and he walked off shaking his head.

oh it must have been the Sticky Fingers album....just such a blast reading your post

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 14

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/12/2007 12:22:16 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

Maybe Bob was trying to open the door to talk about it. I've had that happen, although I'm always hesitant to walk through that door.

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When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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Post #: 15

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/12/2007 12:33:45 PM

Prinsexx

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Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
. I personalize the issue.

For example, when in the company of someone makes a racist joke or comment; I tell them my mother is black.

Oh but that's just so obvious about your mother....
I tell people I am insane before they ask me what my job is.......
and I always say 'I blame it one the mothers' when I am constantly being hauled into school about my son's non-attendance.......
I also like to answer the phone by saying...could you hold as I am just tied up at present......
or statements like please don't be such a pig as I am Jewish.....
and I always toast by saying:
Cheers my dears, prostitutes, cripples, clergy men and queers........ (mind you the list of sub groups I entitle myself to toast will get so long one day that I shall be pissed {doesn't translate into US English I know} but I shall be too pissed nevertheless to finish the toast....

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 11/12/2007 12:34:47 PM >

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 16

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/12/2007 12:43:42 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ReaderSub

A friend (male) of a friend

The best ones ae potential clients who ring in and say....I have a friend, well a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend, actually who has this problem.....(5 degrees out)
usually the friend of the friend etc has a totally secret problem so I don't know how the logic works............
anyway days later the same voice will ring and say I have a friend who....(one degree out)...

I think it's getting so that we are all probably only one degree out from someone with issues.......maybe.....

(in reply to ReaderSub)

Post #: 17

RE: A friend of a friend... - 11/12/2007 5:07:12 PM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
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About 5 years ago, I took a lady I was very involved with to a large social function for my company. We went with two other couples ( I worked with the wives) and it was an interesting night. She wore a gorgeous black dress that clung to her like a second skin. One of the ladies asker her if she was wearing underwear. My lady said, "No, he won't let me". It came time to order, so I ordered for the two of us (I knew her tastes). Again, they asked her "Don't you want to order for yourself?" Her response "No, he will get me what I need". Then the ladies went to the bathroom (I'm still not sure why they go together). While there, they noticed a few stripes on her (do women look when they pee?). She was asked about it and said "Oh, it was so heavenly last night. Aren't they beautiful?".
The next day at work, I was peppered with questions. Their biggest surprise ... I answered truthfully. I'm not sure they ever looked at me the same again.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 18

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