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-=You might be a submissive if=- (funny)


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-=You might be a submissive if=- (funny) - 11/12/2007 8:40:16 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
You might be a submissive or a slave if:
 
[1]="When you wake up in the morning, it is at the end of a 50 foot chain."
 
[2]="The family dog runs free because you are wearing his leash."
 
[3]="When you eat, it is out of a dog dish."

[4]="When you are in the house, you are nude"

[5]="When you are amongst your owner's friends, you are nude."

[6]="When you are riding in a car, you are nude."

[7]="When you visit a doctor you have to tell him that the bruises and marks are not from spousal abuse."

[8]="When you go for x-rays, you have to explain that the piercing in your nipples aren't removable."

[9]="When you go to the movies, your Owner sits in the aisle seat while you sit 'in' the aisle on your knees."

[10]="You haven't seen your pubic hair in years!"

[11]="You have to ask permission to ask permission."

[12]="You have not sat on top of a piece of furniture in years."

[13]="More often than not, at parties, you find yourself adorned with battery operated accoutrements."

[14]="When you go to sleep at night, you have to read books to your Owner until they fall asleep."

[15]="The local tack store has started to hide their crops when they see you walk through the door."

[16]="The local hardware store sends you a Christmas card every year."

[17]="Your Christmas wish list includes something from Skin Two."

[18]="The smell of leather makes you light headed."

[19]="You have to sneak out of the house so the children won't say 'You're not going in public like that, are you?'"

[20]="When everyone else is saying they should have bought stock in Microsoft, you're wishing you'd bought stock in Master locks."

[21]="You must ask for permission to reach orgasm."

[22]="You have locked cabinets so that the children will not find your 'toys'."

[23]="You have locked cabinets so that the neighbors will not see your 'toys'."

[24]="You can't let anyone see your charge card bill because most of it is from Dungeon Depot."

[25]="The mailman brings more than one package a week in a brown paper wrapper."

[26]="You have a gold star on ebay."

[27]="The company accountant wants to know if floggers should be categorized as office supplies."

[28]="The other employees look at you funny wondering what is making the strange whooshing noises coming from behind the closed door."

[29]="You automatically address others as 'Sir' or 'Ma'am'."

[30]="There is more 'tack' nailed to your Owners bedroom walls than can be found in a stable."

[31]="You have more fetish wear than 'normal' clothing"

[32]="You have more than one gas mask and have never been in the military."

[33]="You can't make it through a metal detector in the airport becuase of all your piercings."

--------------------------------------------------------
Please feel free to add your own in reply.
...Thanks to joanne & victoria, slave sisters that originally inspired this.


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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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RE: -=You might be a submissive if=- (funny) - 11/13/2007 1:47:58 PM   
pinksugarsub


Posts: 1224
Status: offline
That was hilarious.  TY.
 
pinksugarsub

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(in reply to ResidentSadist)
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