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Raphael -> RE: money and sexism in BDSM (8/11/2005 12:41:06 PM)
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I've actually seen several male doms take money. It's my impression that in a 24/7 relationship it's actually common practice for the Master to take full control of the financial assets, from all sources, including any property she might bring into the relationship and any income she might be making as well. Of course, unless he's a real dirtbag, he takes the responsibility that comes with that and takes steps to make sure her needs are met, but it's still ALL HIS - not a token tribute, the whole thing.
And, sadly, there are no shortage of real dirtbags either of course.
This is not the same thing as the common femme-dom trick of collecting tribute from multiple admirers without ever even meeting them, of course, but it is male dominants taking money.
That said, your basic point about a double standard here is on target. It's been remarked on a lot, and there are many threads on it already you could find if you did a little searching. Through all the ones I've read, I've really only seen one decent argument for it. That being that it weeds out those who aren't serious. Lots of people, it seems, will promise eternal devotion but balk at a relatively small monetary tribute. Those people are obviously not serious, and having wasted way too much time on people that turned out to not be serious in the end, I can see why one would want a way to detect those people and quit wasting time on them sooner, not later. I've even toyed with the idea of trying it myself, for that reason.
That said, though, it's my impression (and possibly an incorrect one, but it is based on observation, not fantasy) that many, very likely the large majority, of those demanding tribute don't engage in real time anyway. At least not as dominants. I've known a couple in real life that did this, and they NEVER met the men that sent them tribute, had no desire to, and simply viewed it as an easy way to get presents. I want to be disgusted by this, but honestly, I can't - I find myself thinking that the men in those scenarios are getting just what they deserve.
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