RE: What are the odds of finding love?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: What are the odds of finding love?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: What are the odds of finding love?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/13/2007 9:59:13 PM

bruisednbitten

Posts: 14
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline

how very doom and gloom many are here!

i'm not so naive as to think that i'll magically find love and it'll be so cut and dry and perfect as all of that. but i still feel that there's no real need to expect anything specific. i consider myself a switch of sorts - i spent many years as a pro-domme and found that it numbed me to the attraction for a sub - i much more enjoy being dominated but can't fully let go. and i'm currently looking for deep like more than anything else - that seems a more probable find.

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 21

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/13/2007 10:07:06 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Never give up on finding love. The harder you look for it the less likely you'll find it there though.
Being a switch doesnt help or hinder your chances, since anyone you fall for and who falls for you will be OK with your switching along with everything else about you.
Be patient, of course. Anything worth finding is worth waiting for.
I found what I wanted as soon as I stopped actually LOOKING for it.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 22

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/13/2007 10:13:05 PM

AMaster

Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

There MIGHT be a small chance.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 23

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/13/2007 10:54:38 PM

Ecossaise

Posts: 34
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

I had something wise and profound to say, but when I stopped to analyse it, it simply came out as... love ups and slaps you in the butt when you aren't expecting it!

Nice surprise, you'll agree. ;)

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 24

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/13/2007 10:57:44 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

Don't look. That's when it happens.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to Ecossaise)

Post #: 25

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/14/2007 6:10:42 AM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

Just be open and don't give up.

One of my best friends is getting married to someone she met off of match.com

_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 26

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/14/2007 7:58:46 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

The odds are 237,453.6 to 1.

(in reply to deadscout)

Post #: 27

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/14/2007 9:54:15 AM

MystressDream

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

The odds are 237,453.6 to 1.

This is especially true when we limit the scope of our search all the way down to body shape, appearance, tight age limits... etc.

I have seen profiles on here that go as far as "I can only submit to an extremely attractive young woman, 25-30 years old, over 5' 8" tall, perfect weight for height, with red hair. She must be single, with no children, employed, and have a private dungeon to play in, but NOT a pro. I won't pay for it."

<grin> I wish them luck with that.

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 28

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/14/2007 10:08:48 AM

AFlyInYourWeb

Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: deadscout

It seems as a switch, I occupy a relativly rare place. It seems far removed from what is considered the average male, especially when you consider how many people are not into BDSM much less a switch. I'm wondering what the odds are of finding love or if I should just give up on it.

IMHO, love is not something that can be "sought". All we can do is prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally for the time when the opportunity arrives...usually unexpectedly, and often from the last place on earth we thought it would come.

_____________________________

Stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=334308
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=335720
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=336666
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=337911

(in reply to deadscout)

Post #: 29

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/14/2007 10:47:19 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: deadscout

It seems as a switch, I occupy a relativly rare place. It seems far removed from what is considered the average male, especially when you consider how many people are not into BDSM much less a switch. I'm wondering what the odds are of finding love or if I should just give up on it.

Be true to you first, be patient, be honest. Switches are frowned upon by quite a few, that doesn't change the fact that you are who you are, don't let it stop you from seeking what it is that you need. Good luck!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to deadscout)

Post #: 30

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/14/2007 11:02:18 AM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

I dont think being a switch has anything to do with it. Its hard to find love whatever the cirumstances. And as much as I hate to agree with my mother it certainly does seem to find you when your not looking so hard. That was certainly true for me and looking back I thikn because I wasnt looking I didnt open myself up for loads of disapointment by thinking I had found it with the wrong people. Be yourself enjoy yourself do whatever it is that makes you happy and sooner or later the person you will love will find you where you least expect it.

Of course this advice doesnt help at all when its all you really want and have been searching for but in my experience its how it works.

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 31

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/14/2007 11:17:41 AM

YesMistressIrish

Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline

Finding Love? "Love is all around Us"

I create it, feel it, exchange it, flow with it, and do not seek it specifically.

If you put your focus on enjoying good people that you connect with and remain open, and *not jaded* as someone else said, you just might bump into what you seek.

There are plenty of interesting, wonderful people out there. When I let go and enjoy: Love is all around me.

So is all the other crap, but that's a different thread...

Irish

(in reply to canupleaseme)

Post #: 32

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/14/2007 11:52:17 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

heh nevermind.

good luck again OP.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 11/14/2007 11:53:25 AM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to canupleaseme)

Post #: 33

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/14/2007 2:09:28 PM

unravel

Posts: 90
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

The odds are 237,453.6 to 1.

This is especially true when we limit the scope of our search all the way down to body shape, appearance, tight age limits... etc.

I have seen profiles on here that go as far as "I can only submit to an extremely attractive young woman, 25-30 years old, over 5' 8" tall, perfect weight for height, with red hair. She must be single, with no children, employed, and have a private dungeon to play in, but NOT a pro. I won't pay for it."

<grin> I wish them luck with that.

lol this has to be one of the funniest profiles i read to date!
unravel

(in reply to MystressDream)

Post #: 34

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/14/2007 2:47:45 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: deadscout

It seems as a switch, I occupy a relativly rare place. It seems far removed from what is considered the average male, especially when you consider how many people are not into BDSM much less a switch. I'm wondering what the odds are of finding love or if I should just give up on it.

Focus less on what you don't have and more on what you do have. Concentrate on working and improving you, e.g., reading, working out, charity, etc... whatever. Someone is bound to come along and take notice. If not, well, at least you're having fun anyway.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to deadscout)

Post #: 35

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/14/2007 2:52:12 PM

MystressDream

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

quote:

ORIGINAL: deadscout

It seems as a switch, I occupy a relativly rare place. It seems far removed from what is considered the average male, especially when you consider how many people are not into BDSM much less a switch. I'm wondering what the odds are of finding love or if I should just give up on it.

Focus less on what you don't have and more on what you do have. Concentrate on working and improving you, e.g., reading, working out, charity, etc... whatever. Someone is bound to come along and take notice. If not, well, at least you're having fun anyway.

Also, consider studying things that give you more to offer a prospective Mistress.... Such as massage classes... pedicure classes... etc.

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 36

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/15/2007 4:41:33 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: deadscout

It seems as a switch, I occupy a relativly rare place. It seems far removed from what is considered the average male, especially when you consider how many people are not into BDSM much less a switch. I'm wondering what the odds are of finding love or if I should just give up on it.

deadscout,

One might think that being a bisexual switch (as you are) widens your pool of potential partners, but alas - as you are finding - the opposite is true.

I admire the honesty in your profile. But may I be somewhat brutal? You come across as someone wanting to experiment with other human beings of all persuasions until you work out your own sexuality. That might be honest, but not many people like being a temporary experiment.

If I was a switch looking for love, I would actually post two profiles - one Dominant and one submissive. I know that sounds dishonest, but the truth in my experience is that lots of people are switches - just not with the same person in the same relationship. Advertising yourself as a switch - if you are not actually seeking to switch in the relationship - can be confusing and unnecessarily off-putting to potential partners in your area

I would try to focus on finding someone who makes my heart sing and loving him/her just the way he/she is. After some time you can broach the subject of switching (within or outside the relationship) if thats still what you really want. I think you would be surprised how many people are open to switching, but don't like to talk about it publicly.

My advice is to meet someone you really like and focus on loving him/her and being happy together. Getting the sex life right after that should be easy.

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to deadscout)

Post #: 37

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/15/2007 6:12:14 AM

deadscout

Posts: 13
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline

MsCfrom Melbourne, thanks for your thoughts, but I prefer to just lay it all out there and let it fall where it may. But I think you're right about most people not wantiong to be an experiment, but who knows, maybe I'll find someone else willing/wanting to experiment which would be a match made in heaven for me.
I didn't want to come across sounding jaded to anyone. Overall, I am extremly happy and upbeat. I'm probably enjoying life more now than ever before. I was mostly asking if it is a lot harder to find someone in this lifestyle and how many have been or know someone who has been successful. I am greatly encouraged by the responses as well as the friendly people on this site.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 38

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/15/2007 9:21:21 AM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

I've been looking for the right partner for years.
I've played with people who no way would ever be right for me.
I've stopped doing it.
If I can't do it with someone I care about deeply then there is no point.
It's like the difference between making love and the other.
In the end you can only do it your way and hope.
Switching within a relationship is what vanilla's do so they are mostly unhappy.
I can top or bottom if I really wanted to but I can't ever be submissive.
I think your submissive in your relationships It doesn't stop you from topping if you find a Domme who likes it sometimes. I'm quite happy to train a sub to top me when I want him to.

(in reply to deadscout)

Post #: 39

RE: What are the odds of finding love? - 11/15/2007 10:54:14 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

Focus less on what you don't have and more on what you do have. Concentrate on working and improving you, e.g., reading, working out, charity, etc... whatever. Someone is bound to come along and take notice. If not, well, at least you're having fun anyway.

She's spot on. Take it a step further; it seems you're struggling with a confidence problem right now. Ask yourself if you'd want a great girl with zero confidence in herself? Not to save her, but just to be with her? Probably not. Do you want a woman to save you, or do you genuinely want someone who challenges you, and whom YOU can challenge! That's part of what being an emotional partner is about. The added bonus, is that you're out there, doing things you love. You have a far better chance of meeting people, and having them interested in you, when they see you doing something you love. I can't tell you how often I've met people while playing guitar in bars or pubs, because I was genuinely enjoying myself.

As for you being a switch specifically, you've got a tough road to walk in the BDSM community. Men who are willing to submit simply have an uphill battle. They're often not seen submissive enough to actually be owned, nor dominant enough to actually own someone. A word of advice, though, is that many female dominants are actually switches as well. Male switches often do well with female switches; so that might give you some direction. But beyond the label, it shouldn't really matter if you're dom, sub, or switch. People will learn to like you, for you, for who you are; not what you like or how you like it.

Good luck,

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: What are the odds of finding love?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109