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Help with humiliation please! - 8/7/2005 9:33:35 PM

Posts: 17
Joined: 4/16/2004
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I know this topic has been done to death so please forgive me in advance.

You see, I have this problem. I will try to explain the circumstances around it as briefly as possible.

I have this friend I call Daddy. The easiest explanation for the term, besides the fact that he enjoys me calling him that, is he is what I call my sugar daddy. We have had a nice easy relationship for almost two years now. He's a very busy business owner, and travels constantly out of town. He has no time for what most of us would consider a regular relationship. So, when he is home, he calls on me to satisfy his sexual needs. In return for my compliance with this and not getting emotionally involved, Daddy gives me play money for myself, knowing that raising a little one on my own there is never any spare cash just for me.

On to the problem. I was very irrisponsible in not getting my car registered in a timely manner. Well, I was pulled over last Friday and my car was towed. In a panic, I called upon Daddy for help. If I can't get to and from work.. well.. I'm sure you get the drift.

Daddy came to my rescue and wired me a very large sum of money so that I can get everything needed to take care of the car done and over with. However, it will come at a price. This is where the humiliation comes into play. He wants to know from me what I would find most humiliating so that he can carry it out the next time (or 5..lol!) that I see him.

My problem is I can't think of a damn thing! There just isn't much that I can think of that I find truly humiliating that I don't enjoy to some degree. I have been researching all day and all I have found is fem domme/male sub examples and virtually all I have found are in the form of public humiliation.

Now I realize you all can't tell me what is humiliating to me, only I can do that. But I am hoping maybe with some examples from the kind folks here, it might trigger something that I may have missed in my mind.

Can anyone please help me with ideas for private humiliation? Just give me some examples and hopefully something will turn up that I hadn't thought of that would truly be humiliating for me.

Thank you all so much!

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/7/2005 9:42:22 PM

Posts: 61
Joined: 4/4/2005
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Have you looked at a BDSM checklist?

There are things on there that I would never do. As you said, only you can find out what is humiliating to you. You are like me though, that there is SOME enjoyment in being humiliating.

Do you and he play in a public arena, or is it at home only? What are some of your most enjoyable experiences with Him? What are your least enjoyable experiences with Him?

Not sure if that helps, but at least it's a base. I'll ask my Sir when He gets home.. Maybe He can think of something..

It must be nice to have someone to fall into like that. Maybe He needs to humiliate you by not bailing your butt out next time. Letting you catch yourself so that you'll learn to be more responsible. Sorry if that sounds harsh, not trying to make it harsh.. but it could be a humiliating learning tool that you need to do.

stephanie~SD~

_____________________________

"You have to get past the pleasure stage, until you reach the stage of tears.Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns. I am thankful that thorns have roses." -:Allophones Karr:-

(in reply to daisyrocket)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/7/2005 9:49:31 PM

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Thank you synrgy, I have looked at a list, but not lately, so I suppose I should do that again.

As previously stated, we need ideas for private humiliation. I look forward to hearing what your Master has to say when he gets home.

As far as not bailing me out, I understand what you are saying and no offense is taken. But reality is, it wouldn't necessarily be humiliating for me, however, he does know and care whether or not I can continue my income and not have to raise my son in a carboard box on the street. Not only that... if he didn't bail me out, how would I get to him when he is home to take care of his needs? LOL!

(in reply to synrgy33)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/7/2005 10:39:35 PM

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Hmmm private humiliation..

I can think of a few ... golden showers for one.. i have limitations on that, lol.. *pulls up a bdsm checklist*

Since it's private, what about including someone else.. ?

Various types of restraint... For example.. Tying you up.. teasing you to near orgasm.. then denying you... that could suck to be you *grins* or could be really enjoyable wait I think I like that idea *winks*... but you get my drift with that... i hope.

Anal sex can be humiliating.. what about toys? Especially if you don't like anal sex, a anal vibe could be humiliating.. Even going as far as doing an enema.. I find that humiliating in itself... welll let me explain.... i have issues with burping or farting in front of people, lol.. I really do, especially my Dominant. If he were to make me do an enema, and then be there to watch.. OMG that would be sooo humiliating for me and embarrassing. *shudder* (Okay gonna beg Him not to read this thread, lol)

Gags too.. I hate gags with a passion.... Being gagged and then not being allowed to talk that would suck.....

That could also work maybe not humiliating, but if your time with Him is limited, He could come to your house, have you prepare his dinner and then ignore you the whole time he is there, treating you like a pet to degree's. Making you eat your food from a plate on the floor, only being allowed His permission to eat, move, go to the bathroom etc.

Humiliation loses it's power though with the knowledge that you're going to be humliated. He's given you the power that "I'm going to humlilate you the next time I come see you" Now, you have however long until he comes to visit you to play this out in your head, even allowing you the power to PICK your humiliation. So now you've worked through it that you're not going to be humliated.

I think that He's being lazy that he's having you pick your humiliation. If He knows you well enough, he should be able to determine what is humilating.

I think he's taken some of the sting out of whatever is going to happen. Also, there are things that you could have found humiliating, but now that you've got to think about it, you can find enjoyable things in that..

Well for now I need to go. So good luck.

stephanie~SD~

(in reply to daisyrocket)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/7/2005 10:40:06 PM

Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

My problem is I can't think of a damn thing! There just isn't much that I can think of that I find truly humiliating that I don't enjoy to some degree. I have been researching all day and all I have found is fem domme/male sub examples and virtually all I have found are in the form of public humiliation.

Hello daisyrocket

I can appreciate where you are coming from on this. Almost nothing can be used to threaten or blackmail Me. You will probably have to think outside the box for your answer and unfortunately you are right that the answer has to come from inside you. I think synrgy33 has the best suggestion I could think up. The checklists do list a lot of things one tends to forget about and may spark your own creative thinking.

Maybe wearing a diaper or being treated like a baby?

Gentle Lady

_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

(in reply to daisyrocket)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/7/2005 10:42:24 PM

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I think this is the problem. Even if you're honest with him about what you would find humiliating, having to do something that you've told him about can't possibly be as humiliating as having to do something that he thought of on his own. He's going to have to do a little work and decide what HE wants you to do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket

This is where the humiliation comes into play. He wants to know from me what I would find most humiliating so that he can carry it out the next time (or 5..lol!) that I see him.

(in reply to daisyrocket)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/7/2005 11:00:08 PM

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Ok folks. I thought I posted this clearly. I would really just like some ideas without everyone analyzing the situation. Apparently I gave too much background and everyone is focussing on that rather than the question I asked.

I just want some examples in hopes that one of them will trigger something I hadn't thought of. Didn't realize it was such a hard question.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/8/2005 1:00:06 AM

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Pimp yourself out. That would probably be humiliating, making him some of that money back.

Alright so I seriously have no real help to give. It seems like you are looking for something that is humiliating and unenjoyable instead of just humiliating.

ps-this situation sounds like a polar opposite of your profile. I'm not judging, just observing.

(in reply to daisyrocket)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/8/2005 1:09:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

ps-this situation sounds like a polar opposite of your profile. I'm not judging, just observing.

LOL! Yes I know it does. However, we have known each other for quite a while and this is a very unique situation we have.

(in reply to junecleaver)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/8/2005 7:01:59 AM

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You know, as much as I love humiliation, I find it utterly impossible to tell someone HOW to humiliate me. It's simply an attitude of the person, an ability to flip my switches and take me to that place.

So I'd have to say if even a humiliation slut like me can't think of someone, it seems unlikely for you. I'd just be honest and say that you're willing to engage in extreme humiliation, but you just don't know how to describe a situation that you could say IS humiliating.

It might be that he wants to do something extreme but figures if it comes out of your mouth then he won't have to worry so much about crossing boundaries. Just talk it out.

(in reply to daisyrocket)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/8/2005 8:27:34 AM

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Joined: 4/28/2005
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as a slave, i never thought that i could or would experience humiliation - mainly because i am wired to please in whatever circumstances he chooses to put me in. his pleasure. then - one day - through quite words, barely above a whisper - he put me into this headspace i had never experienced - i know on his part - it was done very cautiously and obtained a place for me where i accepted this exciting, low level, bottom of the barrel type of humiliation. WOW!!!

a scene involving humiliation - that true head space of experience - takes work. think about where you may need to be in your thought process - in order to obtain that place.

floorkitten

(in reply to daisyrocket)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/8/2005 8:51:05 AM

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A penis-shaped gag is humiliating, because I then beat myself up mentally....feeling as if I don't deserve the real thing, knowing I have failed to please, having the power of simple communication stripped away from me......wow.

(in reply to floorkitten)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/8/2005 8:55:51 AM

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Joined: 6/22/2004
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I find it pretty distasteful when someone comes on here breathlessly asking for advice and then shits all over the advice that people freely and generously offer.

Good luck.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket

Ok folks. I thought I posted this clearly. I would really just like some ideas without everyone analyzing the situation. Apparently I gave too much background and everyone is focussing on that rather than the question I asked.

I just want some examples in hopes that one of them will trigger something I hadn't thought of. Didn't realize it was such a hard question.

(in reply to daisyrocket)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/8/2005 9:07:23 AM

Noah

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Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

Pimp yourself out. That would probably be humiliating, making him some of that money back.

She is already pimping herself out, june, and asking for some advice on how to keep her best customer on the ledger.

(in reply to junecleaver)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/8/2005 10:13:56 AM

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You're right that you have to answer this question for yourself. I suspect, though, that if you're anything like me none of the "acts" listed in checklists or portrayed in porn are going to be all that humiliating. If someone really wants to humiliate me...and I mean make me stammer, stutter and blush right down to my core...then they need to get into my head and figure out what makes me tick and what parts of my psyche I'll protect with all I've got. It's the things that make me feel truly vulnerable that humiliate me because then I feel weak. It's a lot harder than making me kneel in the bathtub while he uses me as a toilet or making me wear slutty clothes in public. I know what these things are for myself but you have to figure out what triggers work for you.

(in reply to daisyrocket)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/8/2005 10:41:22 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito

You're right that you have to answer this question for yourself. I suspect, though, that if you're anything like me none of the "acts" listed in checklists or portrayed in porn are going to be all that humiliating. If someone really wants to humiliate me...and I mean make me stammer, stutter and blush right down to my core...then they need to get into my head and figure out what makes me tick and what parts of my psyche I'll protect with all I've got. It's the things that make me feel truly vulnerable that humiliate me because then I feel weak. It's a lot harder than making me kneel in the bathtub while he uses me as a toilet or making me wear slutty clothes in public. I know what these things are for myself but you have to figure out what triggers work for you.

Agreed. The exact same ACT can go from completely comfortable to completely humiliating with just a slight change in circumstances.

And it's such an individual, personal, relational thing that even I can't predict it. Some things I would have thought to be humiliating turn out nothing and some things I would have though of as nothing were amazingly intense...and then turned around completely the next time they tried!

(in reply to MsIncognito)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/12/2005 1:08:54 AM

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Yes, but not on this forum. If you still need to know some stuff -- I think I can help, and keep you from being ?. Mike

And just for the sake of those who are curious: Some of the things I know about may cause emotional harm to some, or who knows what psychological path they may take. In the blink of an eye, a statement can take on new meaning, especially coupled with an act!

< Message edited by ProScatman -- 8/12/2005 1:24:17 AM >

_____________________________

The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.

Have a good day, Mike

(in reply to daisyrocket)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/12/2005 8:56:08 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Someone mentioned a golden shower. That could be a good humiliation, especially if he, as my ex did, required that I take some in my mouth. He told me I could let it run out rather than swallow, but finding it not unpleasant, I swallowed.

Something I find humiliating is rimming. On the few times I have done this (can count them all on one hand) I incorporate a wash to the area with a warm wet cloth. For me that incorporates service as well.

I don't know if this is in your dynamic, but he may require you to service a friend or two of his.

Please let us know how it all turns out.

(in reply to ProScatman)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/14/2005 4:12:50 AM

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Joined: 6/20/2005
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geez... what a problem!

_____________________________

zaynab[DM]

quote:

i used to care... but now i take a pill for that

(in reply to daisyrocket)

RE: Help with humiliation please! - 8/23/2005 3:12:21 PM

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Joined: 3/19/2005
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Asking a slave or sub for ideas on how to humiliate her reminds me of the one request ("talk to me") that always stops a conversation in its tracks!

And I fully agree with whoever said that humiliation is dulled by advance warning.

In my years of experience with forcing humiliation from willing female "victims", I've noticed that humiliation gets some of its emotional power from sheer inappropriateness, the calculated exploitation of offered vulnerability, and the juxtaposition of highly contrasting elements such as innocence and arousal. Although sometimes difficult to describe, it's an endlessly fascinating and powerful area, I think we can all agree on that.

My best to all,
-Standfast.

(in reply to zaynab)

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