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Breaking a Sub - 11/17/2007 11:07:58 PM   
onlyHisgirl


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Dear Sirs,

Do You prefer/enjoy "breaking in a sub/slave" or prefer/enjoy them to be automatically obedient?  Why?
As a sub, i am obedient but it takes some time at first because i am resistent plus it enjoy being "broken" ;-)

Thank You for Your comments and thoughts,

oHgirl

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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/17/2007 11:37:36 PM   
MasterKazarik


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In terms of breaking a sub... In my history I like my subs to be who they are, but with an understanding of my expectations.. Should those expectations not be met than we take steps to resolve it... Do I enjoy doing that? No, all honesty I want her to follow my instructions, not fight them because she feels like it..

SHOULD the situation arise that the punishment that I do is enjoyable to myself, then well its a harder task, for both of us..

Some things I do enjoy doing, but do I consider it breaking a girl? Nope, just good play.. Now if it gets her mind in the right place, thats a different story LOL

Master Kaz

(in reply to onlyHisgirl)
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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 12:14:40 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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I wouldn't feed into someone's need to "be broken" because I want long term internalization results. 

However, I'll spend years working on someone to break their unhealthy bad habits if I see true sincerity and progress.

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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 5:09:33 AM   
wisteriaV


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Whats your definition of being "broken"?

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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 6:38:03 AM   
MasterCurios


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there are those that thrive on trying to be broken,or to break.
i personally want the subs/slaves to understand what i expect before they even consider stepping forward. as with any reltionship both parties have to hve the things the other wnts/needs.its my responsibity to see to it that bringing her around completely to my ways is done in such  matter that she ultimately enjoys doing such and doing w/o may seem a punishment(even if its not)

                                               Master Curios

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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 6:46:33 AM   
lostinvain


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breaking ....wouldnt be the right word....... coz if the the Superior side has to break someone ....who is a sub/slave ...then i will consider that he/she is not  a true sub/slave ....... because .... its a worship.... and the subs/slaves ..... have to be all honest on their part ...if the superiors ....try to change them .....the sub is not honest with himself or his/her superior ...the changes should be brought in by the sub itself...

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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 7:34:53 AM   
MrSpectacular


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I would suggest that being broken be changed to - has our relationship developed enough so that we are truly compatible - going in the desire is to have a sub/dom dynamic - how that manifests itself or if it last is dependent on the relationship developing for both parties. It is so simplistic to call it breaking the sub.

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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 8:02:23 AM   
Sexynmentalinkc


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"Breaking" has a destructive, negative connotation with it that I personally dislike.


Now, if you termed it 'retraining', molding or whatnot - I think that's at least partially what a D/s dynamic is supposed to be. A sub is trained in pleasing/serving to the pleasure her Owner.

I realize it's semantics but labels can have different meanings/flavors for different folks.


*shrugs 'n tips his hat*

- Mr. S

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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 8:24:20 AM   
Celeste43


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There are a lot of people who get off on being 'forced'. Of course it isn't real forced because you consent to it happening. But I think it's better left to the play department and be discussed first. Because if you think being bratty or resistant will get you thrown down, thoroughly spanked and taken (which is great btw) but he thinks it means you aren't compatible, then nobody is going to have a good time.

Plus even in those of us who do this, we know when is the right time. The wrong time, no matter how horny you are, is when he's desparate for a first cup of coffee or doing his taxes. So as unromantic as it sounds, it's best if you tell this straight out to anybody you're talking to in order to find out if you're compatible with this kind of play and then work out the details.

(in reply to Sexynmentalinkc)
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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 1:13:00 PM   
CelticPrince


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for this "D" I prefer not to have to break a submissive as it takes too much time aways from what I like, and ultimately what she likes.

CP

(in reply to onlyHisgirl)
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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 1:41:24 PM   
SensibleSam


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There is an excellent movie called Breaker Morant. Morant was a horse breaker - someone who imposed his will on a horse so forcefully that the animal permanently abandoned their expectations of freedom and resigned themselves thereafter to the saddle. 

This is probably much the attraction that some have for Pony Play.

There's a scene in The Big Country where Gregory Peck finally breaks a particularly rebellious horse. This scene shows his perseverance, determination and his mastery. He doesn't beat the horse. He competes with it and ultimately dominates it.

So breaking is a form of attitude adjustment where the breaker imposes his will and the breakee accepts after some resistance his authority. Breaking is not simple coercion but is rather domination. Done properly once broken the animal remains broken.

I submit that this is just what many submissives are seeking when they advertise on this site. Many talk about their rebelliousness while suggesting that they want some man to correct them. Many ask to be trained. Many want to serve. All this means that they want to be broken just the way the cowboy breaks his horse.

After all they've seen the movies too. They know that the cowboy loves his horse best. 

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 2:14:10 PM   
SteelofUtah


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I was always told if you break them then  you can't have another one so I am usually careful not to.

**On Topic** I don't want to force a response I want to know that the sub is there because THEY want to be I want them to surrender to me not submit.

As Always

Steel

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(in reply to SensibleSam)
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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 3:40:40 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
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From: NYS
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SensibleSam

There is an excellent movie called Breaker Morant. Morant was a horse breaker - someone who imposed his will on a horse so forcefully that the animal permanently abandoned their expectations of freedom and resigned themselves thereafter to the saddle. 

This is probably much the attraction that some have for Pony Play.

There's a scene in The Big Country where Gregory Peck finally breaks a particularly rebellious horse. This scene shows his perseverance, determination and his mastery. He doesn't beat the horse. He competes with it and ultimately dominates it.



I'm assuming you've never had a horse.

In any relationship there will come times when the one who usually is in charge, needs the other's help. Having show horses, I can assure you that a broken horse will not do what is necessary for that blue ribbon is for some reason the rider doesn't have it together.

Here we teach the horse until he knows what is expected of him, always ending a lesson on a good note, and we love them and give them lots of treats.

In fact, in a Pleasure class, you can't win if the horse is just doing what he's told without any interest. Since it's based on the horse, one who shows enjoyment always scores higher than the one who just does what he's told.

Same thing with this submissive, I need to be taught patiently and without anger, always ending a session with love and affection. Although I prefer chocolate to jelly beans!

(in reply to SensibleSam)
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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 4:29:43 PM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SensibleSam

There is an excellent movie called Breaker Morant. Morant was a horse breaker - someone who imposed his will on a horse so forcefully that the animal permanently abandoned their expectations of freedom and resigned themselves thereafter to the saddle. 

This is probably much the attraction that some have for Pony Play.

There's a scene in The Big Country where Gregory Peck finally breaks a particularly rebellious horse. This scene shows his perseverance, determination and his mastery. He doesn't beat the horse. He competes with it and ultimately dominates it.

So breaking is a form of attitude adjustment where the breaker imposes his will and the breakee accepts after some resistance his authority. Breaking is not simple coercion but is rather domination. Done properly once broken the animal remains broken.

I submit that this is just what many submissives are seeking when they advertise on this site. Many talk about their rebelliousness while suggesting that they want some man to correct them. Many ask to be trained. Many want to serve. All this means that they want to be broken just the way the cowboy breaks his horse.

After all they've seen the movies too. They know that the cowboy loves his horse best. 

 
.......and then there is a movie called  " The Horse Whisperer"  with Robert Redford...
 
   the animals spirit is respected..the whisperer connects with the animal as well as with its spirit. 
   Consistency, clear action and reaction, authoritative direction and mutual deep respect.
 
  Same outcome...without breaking the spirit.
 


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Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to SensibleSam)
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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 5:56:07 PM   
SteelofUtah


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From: St George Utah
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And then there was the Movie the Cell which had a horse split into many equal sections and seperated. Both Horse and spirit were broken then.

Wait ..... What the the point of the horse?

As Always

Steel

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Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Cyntilating)
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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 6:47:17 PM   
enchainee


Posts: 15
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

I'm assuming you've never had a horse.

In any relationship there will come times when the one who usually is in charge, needs the other's help. Having show horses, I can assure you that a broken horse will not do what is necessary for that blue ribbon is for some reason the rider doesn't have it together.

Here we teach the horse until he knows what is expected of him, always ending a lesson on a good note, and we love them and give them lots of treats.

In fact, in a Pleasure class, you can't win if the horse is just doing what he's told without any interest. Since it's based on the horse, one who shows enjoyment always scores higher than the one who just does what he's told.

Same thing with this submissive, I need to be taught patiently and without anger, always ending a session with love and affection. Although I prefer chocolate to jelly beans!


Well said Celeste!
Thank you!

from one who has trained horses

(in reply to Celeste43)
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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 8:04:19 PM   
onlyHisgirl


Posts: 101
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Oh, i purposedly used the term "break" to cause conversation and well, that's what a former owner called it.  i rolled my eyes when He said that to me over the phone because i'm not a horse.  He had said "you're a wild horse that needs to be tamed and broken. So I'm going to break you."  i think the term probably is more like retrained or molded.  There are certain Masters who "got it" you know?  Like They say sit and i sit, but a couple have said it and a part of me wants to defy to see what they do.  Call it brattiness but i like to be shown who's in charge. ;-) Have a great thanksgiving if i'm not back on here. :-)

< Message edited by onlyHisgirl -- 11/18/2007 8:06:11 PM >


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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 9:20:44 PM   
MidnightMaiden


Posts: 142
Joined: 10/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SensibleSam

I submit that this is just what many submissives are seeking when they advertise on this site. Many talk about their rebelliousness while suggesting that they want some man to correct them. Many ask to be trained. Many want to serve. All this means that they want to be broken just the way the cowboy breaks his horse.

After all they've seen the movies too. They know that the cowboy loves his horse best. 


I put that I was bratty in my profile, and that I had never before been the submissive, always the dominant (in a relationship sense, not a bdsm sense) and that I was used to getting my own way.  I did this so the prospective Dom would know my attitude going in and understand that submitting was a new experience, not so I would get some heavy handed whip bearing cowboy hat wearing drongo that wanted to break me.  There are some days where I am not easy to get along with.  You aren't ever going to beat that out of me, and no you can't break me.  I wanted a Dom with patience, not with spurs.

< Message edited by MidnightMaiden -- 11/18/2007 9:21:40 PM >

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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/18/2007 10:33:00 PM   
ShadowsLap


Posts: 36
Joined: 2/26/2006
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Can a submissive who is patiently taught to serve according to the desire of the Dominant - and in so doing become a reflection of that Dominant - truly be considered "broken"?

I don't believe so.  IM experience, a strong sub with a "broken" spirit never really submits out of a desire to please the Dom/me.  If that's what the Dominant wants ... I can't argue with that.  I do know broken spirits leave subs ill-equiped to care for themselves once a Dominant tires of their neediness and releases them.  Unfortunately, I believe that may leave subs wide open to being misused by another Dom/me because said sub lacks the self-esteem to protect themselves - or they are so broken they believe its impossible to live without a Dom/me in their life and settle for anyone who shows an interest.  Either one is not good if you ask me.

I believe in teaching a sub your ways ... the way you would teach someone new to your country or culture.  Because that's what you are to a new sub if they don't know you.  The rough stuff can be used as fodder for scene time if that's what meets your needs.  It's just hard for me to understand how a sub - who submits out of the desire to please their Dom/me - has the need to have their spirit broken.  Personally, it's not my cuppa ...

Be well all,
SL

< Message edited by ShadowsLap -- 11/18/2007 10:35:34 PM >

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RE: Breaking a Sub - 11/19/2007 6:38:08 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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quote:

ORIGINAL: onlyHisgirl

Oh, i purposedly used the term "break" to cause conversation and well, that's what a former owner called it.  i rolled my eyes when He said that to me over the phone because i'm not a horse.  He had said "you're a wild horse that needs to be tamed and broken. So I'm going to break you."  i think the term probably is more like retrained or molded.  There are certain Masters who "got it" you know?  Like They say sit and i sit, but a couple have said it and a part of me wants to defy to see what they do.  Call it brattiness but i like to be shown who's in charge. ;-) Have a great thanksgiving if i'm not back on here. :-)


If he really thinks the way to tame a horse or a person is to break their spirit, so they operate out of fear, do you want that?

Now I love being taken, having him forcefully get his way, but I don't feel submissive unless there's a lot more going on. For me, that means love, affection, friendship, mutual respect, trust, and enough experience with him to be able to feel safe leaving the decisions up to him. If he can't pay his rent, I won't feel safe turning over control of my checkbook. If he can only see his offspring at supervised visits, I wouldn't let him near mine nor accept any suggestions about their upbringing. If he can't hold a job more than six months, then he isn't capable of giving career advice. etc etc etc.

There's a lot more to this than the fun stuff.

(in reply to onlyHisgirl)
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