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Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/19/2007 4:52:24 PM

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I'm really new to the forums, so forgive me if I've overlooked a place where my thoughts belong. I want to know if people want to see BDSM displayed more often and in a more positive life, via all the different media available world wide. Does anyone have any advice, links, opinions, or anything that may be of use to me or my wandering and wondering?

You know where to find me

meesha / feral kyttin

RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/20/2007 12:07:14 AM

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*sighs* Nobody?

Forget the freak. You're just nature!

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/20/2007 5:49:41 AM

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More?

Well lets see, there is HBOs series 'real sex'. Lady Heather on CSI is portraied in a rather positive light. At least a dozen difrent Ikea comercials that I know of, and a 'TV boss' comercial where the parental couple are talking abotu how great a show the dominatrix is on. Perty much all of MTV.

As far as movies go, there is the incredible betty page, kinky boots, the pet, secetary, preaching to the preverted, the piano teacher, exit to eden, 9½ weeks. And thats just the ones with it as a prominit point. Lucy Liu has a dominatrix scene in nearly every movie she is in. In little shop of horrors kinky sex is just comic relief.

Books? I can walk into any Barns and Nobel in the nation, even the ones in the center of the bible belt, and pick up a half dozen books on kink right off the shelf.

Or maybee you ment magazine articles. Time magazine ran an freeking exposee piece on BDSM that was very well bananced and extremely informitive. You dont get more mainstream than Time magazine."Today" ran a very well done piece on FetishCon just this last year.

What is it that you expect anyway? You think that people should be spontaniously breaking into song and dance in the middle of the street?

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/20/2007 4:41:03 PM

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Even though on Tila Tequila's new show Hell was a BDSM dungeon, most of the guys who went in fairly loved all the kinky things she (kinda) did to them... Personally, I don't need validation through the mainstream, and most people after having a conversation with them realize that I'm not crazy. That's good enough for me.

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/24/2007 2:34:30 AM

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TheHungryTiger

Greetings,

Was that just a quote at the bottom or a personal question? And I don't really give (you know) just yet.... so YES!!!!! DANCE!!! If you feel like dancing and you are allowed, DANCE.

The true dancer will dance anywhere, any conditions, with or without an audience.

Thanks for the *nudge* in the right direction.

I was looking to meet friends who might be willing to share information such as this with a poor, deprived, depraved, hardly educated little REDNECK!!

LOL

*dashes off, wildly*

respectfully,
meeshka

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/24/2007 6:52:23 AM

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There are a huge number of positive examples of us in the media now, compared to just 20 years ago. As HungryTiger mentioned, pretty much all of MTV is providing images and portrayals of WWD to the next generation that not only make it "okay", but actually show it off as something "cool." The TNG coming up will be looking at BDSM as another choice, like choosing one vibe over another at the adult store.

As an example, IFC last night ran a show called "Sex in Cinema: Extremes" where Dita Von Tease, (among several others in the film industry) discussed the topic of kink in film. As they said, up until recently, BDSM has been used as either a joke, or the prelude to a serial killing. But times a re changing. Movies like Secretary, and Short Bus and others are breaking down the barriers. Slowly, America and the rest of the western world is learning that relationships can come in many flavors.

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/24/2007 11:52:05 AM

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I disagree that there's a huge number...and the number seems, to me, to be far more negative than positive. That's not to say that the positives aren't important, but the negatives are certainly more pronounced. The lifestyle always seems to be portrayed as something that is either sick or sad and people in it always seem to be two dimensional cardboard cut-outs of real people.

I'll just be happy when the lifestyle has a Dumbledore. You know, a character who just happens to have another sexuality and isn't completely defined by it. A non-issue.

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/24/2007 11:57:25 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066
You know, a character who just happens to have another sexuality and isn't completely defined by it. A non-issue.

How would you even know it? If it is a non-issue then wouldent it logicaly folow that it wouldent be reported anywhere?

But on a more serious note. What about Lana Wachowski? One of the directors of the matrix films? They have been romanticaly linked to a profesional dominatrix for years now and has undergone feminization. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0905154/bio Its such NOT a big deal that most people dont even know about it. Likewise Eva Longoria has said in interviews that she likes bondage sex. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6853520/ No big deal was ever made out of that. Nick Lachey crossdressed in Jessica Simpson shoes as well as implying other kinky things. http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,1146549,00.html That was also an absoulte non event.Olga Kurylenko said bondage was beautiful. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/celeb_interviews/article294335.ece That news when it came out WASENT daily headlines for a month. Penn Jillette of Pen and Teller showed USAToday the bondage room in his house. http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/2004-10-28-at-home-penn-jillette_x.htm As far as I can tell its the only mention of his bondage intrests anywhere and even USA Today just cast thae fact aside like it was no big deal. Illeana Douglas shows up publicly in bondage gear, sings about how mush she loves the movie Secetary, gets straped to a poll, and ends the evenign with a spanking http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/mndwebpages/illeana%20delights%20with%20bondage%20gag Crickets chirp in the background.

Not much news was generated when Pamela Anderson admited on her homepage to having bondage fantisies. http://news.sawf.org/Gossip/41691.aspx but that could be because everyone has heard so much about her sex life already that they were burnt out. Likewise, Most folks got burnt out hearing abotu Boy Georges sex life years ago so that might be the reason not much news happened when he was involved in a gay bondage arrest. http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-4257.html

Funny how the people who say "Sure there are some good points, but there are many many many many many more that are negitive. Never wind up listing them

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/25/2007 12:00:45 AM

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I couldn't care less if this lifestyle is portrayed more or more positively by the media.

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/25/2007 12:04:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: briska

Even though on Tila Tequila's new show Hell was a BDSM dungeon, most of the guys who went in fairly loved all the kinky things she (kinda) did to them... Personally, I don't need validation through the mainstream, and most people after having a conversation with them realize that I'm not crazy. That's good enough for me.

Oh! I saw that. I love tila =) I wonder if she is into BDSM... although they were kind of making fun of it.

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/25/2007 12:55:56 AM

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Yeah, Estring and I are pretty much on the same page on this one. The "lifestyle" is portrayed negatively because few vanillas understand it, and people tend to demonize what they don't understand. But so what? Let them demonize. They ain't gonna change us, and we ain't gonna change them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I couldn't care less if this lifestyle is portrayed more or more positively by the media.

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/25/2007 6:15:26 AM

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I remember watching the first CSI with Lady Heather and discussing it with Kinky friendly people , It really showed the scene in a good light , we were all pretty impressed. When the preview first came out, we were all thinking , oh no here we go again. I also thought the movie"Exit to Eden" if you take out the stuff that was stupid comedy was very good.Wish it followed the book more, but that is the case with about any book to movie that is out there.

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/25/2007 1:42:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHungryTiger

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066
You know, a character who just happens to have another sexuality and isn't completely defined by it. A non-issue.

How would you even know it? If it is a non-issue then wouldent it logicaly folow that it wouldent be reported anywhere?

I should have been more clear... It should be a non-issue within the story. Kind of like how Dumbledore being gay within the context of the Harry Potter books is pretty much unimportant within the story. Outside the story...of course...it's still a bit of an issue.

And the rest of your post does a pretty good job of proving the points of myself and others. There are positive stories out there, but they hardly ever get reported by the mainstream media.

< Message edited by Shawn1066 -- 11/25/2007 1:45:52 PM >

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/25/2007 6:25:43 PM

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Let me see if I understand ......

If kink *IS* reported in the mainstream press then that proves we are opressed.

If kink *ISNT* reported in the mainstreem then that is also proof we are opressed.

Do I have it about right?

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/25/2007 9:25:38 PM

RRafe

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Sure, we need to devolve even further into stereotypes than we already are.

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/25/2007 9:26:18 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ricksub42

I remember watching the first CSI with Lady Heather and discussing it with Kinky friendly people , It really showed the scene in a good light , we were all pretty impressed. When the preview first came out, we were all thinking , oh no here we go again. I also thought the movie"Exit to Eden" if you take out the stuff that was stupid comedy was very good.Wish it followed the book more, but that is the case with about any book to movie that is out there.

I totally would have submitted to Lady Heather

I loved how they made her completely sane too.
As for "Exit to Eden", the book disappointed me. I'm a "Sleep Beauty" fan mayself.

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/25/2007 10:48:12 PM

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The best way to improve the image of BDSM is to:

1) Be a classy and self confident, competent person in your daily life and show respect to people by not flaunting or advertising your kinkiness to gain approval or draw attention. If they find out you are kinky AFTER they have a ton of respect for you, they are less likely to prejudge.

2) Never involve the non-consenting public in your bdsm play. Sure, if they are *not aware* and never will be, that's one thing - but don't do anything that might involve them against their will.

Akasha

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/26/2007 7:47:57 AM

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the media tends to like to show extremes, and streach the truth a bit as well *big shock here, go figure*

it's not just in this lifestyle or preference, but every movie, TV series, etc. tends to start with a premise, then take it to a bit more then it really is. that's entertainment, or so i am told.

but, tis a shame as it perpetuates some untrue stereotypes.

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/26/2007 8:33:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

The best way to improve the image of BDSM is to:

1) Be a classy and self confident, competent person in your daily life and show respect to people by not flaunting or advertising your kinkiness to gain approval or draw attention. If they find out you are kinky AFTER they have a ton of respect for you, they are less likely to prejudge.

2) Never involve the non-consenting public in your bdsm play. Sure, if they are *not aware* and never will be, that's one thing - but don't do anything that might involve them against their will.

Akasha

Well said, AAkasha. I think this goes for ALL sexual practices and orientations. Just keep it a personal choice, and use common sense about when, where, how, why, and with whom you share your bedroom activities...for hubby and I, that means we basically don't share it with anyone!

quote:

As an example, IFC last night ran a show called "Sex in Cinema: Extremes"

We saw that show...it's actually called "Indie Sex: Extremes" and it is part of a series made by the Independent Film Channel. Dita Von Teese is a regular commentator on the series. Hubby and I were very pleased to see bdsm portrayed in a positive light, and were taking notes to add to the list of kinky movies to see!

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RE: Why don't we have a more positive image? - 11/26/2007 9:20:16 AM

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on a side note about the book Exit to Eden, I liked it better then the Beauty books, because it was more realistic. (more along the lines of what people are capable of.) I would submit to Lady Heather as well. And would LOVE to switch with Grissom. heh. Yes a certain amount of media protrayal is negative, but we are getting more coverage now, then we did even 10 years ago. It is making some people sit up and go 'hmm'. You want to do something about it? then talk to non kink people about the lifestyle. Loan/give them positive books on the subject. yeah some people are going to think your flippin' nutzoid, but such as life.

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