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guilt - 8/10/2005 11:02:03 AM   
zaynab


Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		wow... purposefully disobeying an order.... waiting for the punishment to be meted out... what could possibly be worse than the guilt I feel right now? I hate feeling like this!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: guilt - 8/10/2005 11:59:55 AM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		i agree the guilt and the waiting are the worst.

(in reply to zaynab)
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RE: guilt - 8/10/2005 12:11:19 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

purposefully disobeying an order.... waiting for the punishment to be meted out... what could possibly be worse than the guilt I feel right now? I hate feeling like this!


Punishment is fun then?

(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: guilt - 8/10/2005 12:41:22 PM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Master knows when i purposely disobey for a punishment because i have this little grin on my face. Her words are always "Keep it up slave". LOL!! but sometimes She gives in just for the fun of it. Sometimes She waits a day and chases me around the house with a pig slapper..LOL!!

i never feel guilty because i'm bad at faking disobeying. It's so obvious that i just wanna spankin.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: guilt - 8/10/2005 12:49:22 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

pig slapper


Is that one of those things for horses that almost sound like a duck when you slap them on your skin?


(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
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RE: guilt - 8/10/2005 12:53:31 PM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zaynab

wow... purposefully disobeying an order.... waiting for the punishment to be meted out... what could possibly be worse than the guilt I feel right now? I hate feeling like this!


What guilt??? You did this on purpose, you said so yourself. I think no punishment would be the best punishment. lol You should be ashamed of yourself! tsk, tsk tsk!






Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: guilt - 8/10/2005 1:27:41 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		I would think you'd be happy to be punished for it. Punishment is way of purifying and correcting the situation. Why be guilty over something if you have paid the consequences of the act and learned from it?

(in reply to feline)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: guilt - 8/10/2005 1:33:53 PM   
clover


Posts: 68
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline 		What guilt? The times I've deliberately disobeyed an order (a rare occurence, though not as rare as I'd like), I think I've felt more guilt, not less. "Purposeful" disobedience isn't always black and white. Saying that a submissive/slave shouldn't feel guilt over it implies that if he or she didn't have the self-control to obey an order, they obviously didn't care about the consequences then, so why care enough to feel guilty now? Sounds very simple, but it's just not true all the time.
Especially for a novice sub or someone who is naturally an emotionally impulsive person, building self-control to follow an order when it goes against what you really want takes time. Hopefully, the negative consequences and the guilt that comes from knowing you've put your own will above the desire to please your Dominant will help keep it from happening again in the future.
Good luck and hope it's a learning experience for you, zaynab...and hopefully one that won't need repeating

(in reply to feline)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: guilt - 8/10/2005 2:14:33 PM   
pet4mymaster


Posts: 22
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline 		Are you saying you disobeyed with the intent to be punished or because it went against what you wanted?
If it was in order to be punished,then don't feel guilty. You may get what you are seeking. Unless your master/mistress knows that is why you disobeyed and will punish you by NOT punishing you.
If it went against what you wanted,then yes you should feel guilty in my opinion. Your wishes and desires are to always come after your master/mistress'.
The only exception i see to that is if it was something you were told to do that went against a known HARD limit. Then i can see disobeying,but do not fear punishment or feel guilty if that is the case.


Personally, if it was just to be bad....i hope you get punished harder and harder and harder,but try not to smile too much.....you don't want to give your self away

_____________________________

i give my mind,my heart,my body and soul to my Sir and am rewarded daily by being allowed to serve and please Him.

(in reply to clover)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: guilt - 8/10/2005 5:21:48 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feline


quote:

ORIGINAL: zaynab

wow... purposefully disobeying an order.... waiting for the punishment to be meted out... what could possibly be worse than the guilt I feel right now? I hate feeling like this!


What guilt??? You did this on purpose, you said so yourself. I think no punishment would be the best punishment. lol You should be ashamed of yourself! tsk, tsk tsk!



This is the main reason why I won't punish. Oh, I'll do pain scenes but they are consensual and mutual. (See some of the stories in www.lovingdominant.org) "Punishment" is too often the submissive trying to manipulate the dominant. The most I'll do is inform the submissive that she's done something that upsets me and explain what and why. If the behavior is repeated, I'll rethink the relationship.

(in reply to feline)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: guilt - 8/10/2005 6:30:20 PM   
tinkJH


Posts: 180
Joined: 5/22/2005
Status: offline 		So, you purposely did something. thus are getting punished. But your guilty? for what? the fact that you got caught?

_____________________________

"I know you didn't bring me out here to drown,
so why am I ten feet under and upside down..? " (Lifehouse ~ Storm)


~the everyday rantings of a still learning mommy slave~
http://brazendreams.blogspot.com/

(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: guilt - 8/10/2005 6:48:07 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zaynab

wow... purposefully disobeying an order.... waiting for the punishment to be meted out... what could possibly be worse than the guilt I feel right now? I hate feeling like this!


Why don't you just communicate your needs to your dominant?

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: guilt - 8/11/2005 5:42:51 AM   
tinkJH


Posts: 180
Joined: 5/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Why don't you just communicate your needs to your dominant?



Now now.. can you imagine?! a sub/slave going to their Master. "Master, I'm craving a spanking. Please spank me? " Pfft, the nerve of her!! <Sarcasm>

_____________________________

"I know you didn't bring me out here to drown,
so why am I ten feet under and upside down..? " (Lifehouse ~ Storm)


~the everyday rantings of a still learning mommy slave~
http://brazendreams.blogspot.com/

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: guilt - 8/11/2005 6:45:42 AM   
zaynab


Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Punishment is fun then?



Sometimes a punishment can be fun... depends on what the infraction was, how mad he is about it and what level he takes the punishment. In the punishment I got yesterday, I was scared all friggen day about it, but it wasn't that bad afterall. I was relieved but will feel guilty for about a week over disappointing my Master and making him mad.

That is my true punishment.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: guilt - 8/11/2005 6:50:29 AM   
zaynab


Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feline

What guilt??? You did this on purpose, you said so yourself. I think no punishment would be the best punishment. lol You should be ashamed of yourself! tsk, tsk tsk!



Well, true... I did it on purpose... but at the time, I didn't care! I need to keep my weight under control because I have low blood sugar and if I gain weight and live a sedentary lifestyle, the low blood sugar can flip into diabetes which runs in my family.

Yesterday, it was very hot... I was hot, tired and didn't feel well. I decided to blow off my exercises and didn't give a flip if it made him mad or not. I felt so dragged out I thought... "I don't care, I'll just take the punishment if he gives me one."

I did feel guilty, but oh well.... lol

He was madder about it than I expected he would be, so I stressed about the evening punishment.

Today.. I still feel kinda sick but I will do my exercises. *smile

(in reply to feline)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: guilt - 8/11/2005 6:58:32 AM   
zaynab


Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Clarifying punishments for us....

I never had a fun punishment... that's an oxymoron!
The light punishments I had were great and I loved them, so he doesn't do those ones anymore.

The hard whippings or being beat with the belt, that hurt like hell but I think he is doesn't want to damage the body, and being that I can dissociate during a hard punishment... those types are almost a waste of time.

I suspect he's going to change styles to something that I can't handle, like decreasing my internet time. THAT.. I cannot handle.

I truly don't mean to be rebellious.... I just am. I want to be a joy for my Master, not a pain in the ass. And I put great effort into bringing him pleasure and satisfaction, which I do accomplish that 99% of the time.

I also have my alters to work with (tink, don't say a word about that!!) and many of them aren't into any of this. Challenging for me, but I'm figuring things out over time re: them.

*sigh

(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: guilt - 8/11/2005 7:05:21 AM   
zaynab


Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

The most I'll do is inform the submissive that she's done something that upsets me and explain what and why. If the behavior is repeated, I'll rethink the relationship.



My Master did tell me that also, yesterday. I was shocked. When he told me that repeated rebellion may be reason to end the relationship, that sure had an impact on me. And thinking of that ... I have to go do my workout right now!

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 17
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