What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge

What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (Full Version)

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kittyinpink -> What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 12:41:53 AM)
Is there anything you guys wish you knew before getting involved in the Bdsm lifestyle, or before getting involved with a Dom/Master?

briska -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 1:21:23 AM)
That it'd be the little things in life i'd end up with most trouble with? i.e., respecting Sir while having a bad day, keeping up with instructions, etc.

shootingstar67 -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 2:23:48 AM)
How to listen to my gut. I didn't trust it and ended up in a really abusive LTR

topIrishsubm -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 4:35:48 AM)
I wish i had knew how happy and fullfilled it would make me. So instead of procrastinating and being terrified for over three months about meeting my Domme, i could have have spent it with Her [:)]

IrishMist -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 4:50:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kittyinpink Is there anything you guys wish you knew before getting involved in the Bdsm lifestyle, or before getting involved with a Dom/Master? Nope. It's much more fun to learn on the fly [:D]

dragonnette -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 5:34:27 AM)
I wish we had more clearly discussed our ideas about what a D/s relationship meant. Mismatched expectations are just no fun.

shellzbythesea -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 6:28:22 AM)
i wish i wouldn't have been in such a hurry (this time around, having "come back" to the lifestyle). So, i guess i wish i knew how to be more *patient. i sifted through many an email and thought* i was making a good choice (in comparison to the other options) but despite many red flags, proceeded forward into something i had an inkling would *not* work.

BeingChewsie -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 6:31:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kittyinpink Is there anything you guys wish you knew before getting involved in the Bdsm lifestyle, or before getting involved with a Dom/Master? That there are no rules. The relationship and power disparity needs to be defined by the people in the dyanmic. It is OK if it looks like nothing like what you see online or offline. Rituals and protocols are not required and will evolve naturally between the couple over time. You can be a wife and be owned, you can have the whole fairytale if that is what you want. Some dominant men are really into control and management, some are not at all...know which one you need. Just a couple thoughts off the top of my head.

youngsubgeoff -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 7:11:01 AM)
one thing I wish I had done was gotten to know my last domme better before I even considred meeting her, much less submiting to her. got burned, but at least I know better now.

angelic -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 7:25:03 AM)
Pay more attention to the red flags flying all around.

beargonewild -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 7:54:53 AM)
I wish I was at an erlier age to come out into the world of BDSM, as opposed to being in my mid 40's.

SimplyMichael -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 8:27:52 AM)
How important it is to be able to create healthy nurturing relationships.

lilsubl -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 8:45:12 AM)
i wish that i would have spent more time getting to know myself.......

gorgeous1 -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 9:00:32 AM)
I'm glad I had been too afraid to take the plunge before I did. Growing up in the Bay Area, I had plenty of exposure to the lifestyle. I can't count how many times I went to a night club and there were exhibitions like play piercing and flogging, etc., but they were side shows to the band that was playing, or part of a theme for the evening. I knew I wanted to do that stuff, but I was too shy to ask. When I was younger I made lots of bad decisions when it came to relationships with guys, and I think if I had plunged into the lifestyle before I did, I would have ended up in a bad D/s situation, because I would have been one of those girls who went forward even though there were red flags. I'm glad I got myself sorted out (my house in order) before I met my husband, and that we were able to start out as total newbies together. I like that our adventure started out at the same point, because we have been able to start out slow, and after 10 years, we haven't even scratched the surface of our fantasies, and I like that we have all the time in the world. No need to rush to the end- in this lifestyle, I think it really is best to stop and smell the flowers along the way - it really is enjoying the journey, not trying to get to the destination.

ownedgirlie -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 9:07:26 AM)
Wasn't so much a "plunge" for me since I was led into this relationship with my eyes wide open, but I know that's just a matter of speech. [;)] I wish I had had more faith in myself. I would have saved us both a lot of hassle. If I trusted I could be cared about, I would have believed him earlier and avoided a lot of problems as a result.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 9:09:43 AM)
I wish i had known quality people to introduce me safely. I was too afraid to join a club. The first Dom who introduced me...he did it in a responsible way but he did not stick around to assist me or be my Master. It was like being abandoned in front of the door at a haunted castle. There were some scary people I almost let myself become involved in. Luckily, no axe muderers. You do have to be careful. There are alot of good people involved in the lifestyle but there are also crazies and abusiers that masqurade as Masters when what they are is abusers and psycopaths.

MsBearlee -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 9:25:19 AM)
I also wish I’d discovered BDSM sooner…I’d probably had more fun! LOL Another thing I’d like to have figured out sooner is that this is mostly a number’s game; so many come here with a long list of fantasies, most of which are not realistic. It is amazing how many men ask if I have a basement where I’ve ever kept prisoners for my entertainment. For awhile I used to wonder what I was doing wrong to receive some of the ridiculous requests (and demands) that men have sent to me; I wish I’d discovered they just do it for shock value. B

proudsub -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 12:24:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kittyinpink Is there anything you guys wish you knew before getting involved in the Bdsm lifestyle, or before getting involved with a Dom/Master? Yep, i wish i had known that Hubby would understand my desires before i went outside my marriage.[:o]

smilezz -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 8:08:26 PM)
Yeah! I trusted to easily all those years ago. I paid for it dearly, unfortunately he died in jail instead of spending the rest of his rotten life in it. Do your research, find out what BD/SM is. Take your time to get involved in your local community if you are able. Never allow anyone to tie you up that you have just met. I know that sounds like a " WELL DUH " moment....but you would be surprised how many do....including me back then. Ask questions.......then ask them again until you get the answer you want. It has been way over 20+ years now, I still ask. ~smilezz~

lockmeupplease -> RE: What do you wish you knew before you took the plunge (11/21/2007 8:18:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea i wish i wouldn't have been in such a hurry (this time around, having "come back" to the lifestyle). So, i guess i wish i knew how to be more *patient. i sifted through many an email and thought* i was making a good choice (in comparison to the other options) but despite many red flags, proceeded forward into something i had an inkling would *not* work. AMEN!!!

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