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I thought I was dom - 11/22/2007 4:42:08 PM

Domunorthants

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Joined: 10/11/2007
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I've always been dom, but recently I've been having sub thoughts and fantasies. Does this mean I'm swicth? Can anyone help?

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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/22/2007 7:18:00 PM

laurell3

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I'm not sure it matters Dom. Explore what you are and find someone compatible. The only time you have to worry about labels is when you are filling out a profile. You will find there are many that started out in one role and then switched exclusively to the other or became switches.

The problem with labels is no one here can really agree what they are. I would focus on trying to figure out what you need and want and not put as much emphasis on a label or role.

I should also mention you will find many threads here of Doms that enjoy some activities that may be considered submissive that don't truly emotionally submit. That doesn't make them any less a Dom. We are all different in what we need/want/desire.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/22/2007 7:29:09 PM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
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Dom,

Very, very few people are exclusively one or the other. Dominance and submission is a spectrum, just as sexual orientation is. Don't sweat it if you occasionally have thoughts about flipping yourself. As a very Domme friend of mine has said... "I'm about 98% dominant... but I DO own that other 2% as well."

(in reply to laurell3)

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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/23/2007 6:48:43 AM

YesMistressIrish

Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Domunorthants

I've always been dom, but recently I've been having sub thoughts and fantasies. Does this mean I'm swicth? Can anyone help?

What's in a name? What's in a label?

Many, many Doms out there ask to submist to Dommes all the time. They feel they have to do so in secret, or they lose 'face' in the community. I was approached by one last weekend who practically begged me to paddle him. He said it's been 4 years, and needs to submit once in a while.
There are plenty of dommes out there who also look for someone to submit to.

I find it incredibly ironic that so many in this lifestyle feel they have to hide what they need and want from others who might judge them. I feel supportive of Domunorthants and what he's going through.

Whatever you need that makes you happy and fulfilled; it's all good!

Irish
“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.." . . . Bertrand Russell

(in reply to Domunorthants)

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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/23/2007 9:12:39 AM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
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Can anyone help you say ?I say you can help yourself discover your own submissive OR bottom side by finding a trusted person in you community to experiance what your longing and thinking about .See if it is something you like or enjoy .Go out and try making the fantasy a reality .

(in reply to YesMistressIrish)

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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/23/2007 10:18:46 AM

Domunorthants

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Thank you YesMistressIrish.

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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/23/2007 11:43:32 AM

ShaktiSama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YesMistressIrish
Many, many Doms out there ask to submist to Dommes all the time. They feel they have to do so in secret, or they lose 'face' in the community. I was approached by one last weekend who practically begged me to paddle him. He said it's been 4 years, and needs to submit once in a while.

*nods* About 40% of the men who approach me are dominant. Of that group, it's about 50/50 between people who'd like to explore my submissive side versus people who need to express their own submissive side in some small way, even if it's just a whipping or being painfully penetrated.

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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/24/2007 12:26:32 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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We can't really tell you, we can only give our opinions. The only thing we can say with any certainty is: you are YOU. So, who do YOU think you are?

Master Fire

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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/25/2007 8:25:10 AM

Domunorthants

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Thanks for the help everyone.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/25/2007 8:45:21 AM

beltainefaerie

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
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I think all of us have fantasies that we enjoy, but wouldn't want in real life. That could be what is going on. However, if you go ahead and have an experience, you can determine whether the reality is good for you too. You may find that you enjoy switching occasionally. I am way more sub than Dom, but some people just push my buttons the right way to make me want to take control. Have fun finding new aspects of you, whether those are fantasy or reality.

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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/25/2007 9:43:34 AM

YesMistressIrish

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Domunorthants

Thank you YesMistressIrish.

Lol!
*Blows you a kyss.......hog ties you in 2 min flat......and explores your submissive side*

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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/25/2007 11:54:37 AM

deadscout

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Joined: 1/10/2007
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I started out dom, but have been exploring the sub side and so far I am enjoying it. I see lots of subs that I would enjoy, but not many Doms that I would submit to.

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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/25/2007 12:53:25 PM

AngelLink

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Joined: 8/23/2007
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Dom, something you need to realize is not everyone is one thing all of the time. Truly everyone is switch but not labeled as so. what we call a Swtitch is some who specifically like the play to be changed in the form of perspective regularly. A dom or sub may only want it changed on a rare occasion. I hope this helped

(in reply to deadscout)

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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/27/2007 9:09:00 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Do you want to be controlled by someone else, or do you just want to experience certain sensations? Because there are dominants who are masochistic. S & m is about sensations, you can enjoy receiving a heavy flogging in the same way you enjoy receiving a deep tissue massage.

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Cynical and proud of it!

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RE: I thought I was dom - 11/30/2007 4:40:06 AM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Domunorthants

I've always been dom, but recently I've been having sub thoughts and fantasies. Does this mean I'm swicth? Can anyone help?

it means you are exploring. that you are allowing yourself to be without labels and restrictions. And to me that is a good thing, What else it means? Who knows?

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to Domunorthants)

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