How and when did you realize you were submissive?

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How and when did you realize you were submissive? - 11/26/2007 5:52:21 AM

breastbonder

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Was it an aha! moment or a gradual progression? Was there any events in particular that helped the realization? Do you think you realized it, i.e. was born that way or became that way? What were some of your first experiences that led you to be submissive?

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RE: How and when did you realize you were submissive? - 11/26/2007 7:02:47 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breastbonder

Was it an aha! moment or a gradual progression?

Neither.

Was there any events in particular that helped the realization?

Yes, he hit me and couldn't care less.

Do you think you realized it, i.e. was born that way or became that way?

I wasn't born to be submissive or anything else, and am not submissive, as a trait. I've certainly become that way; it's safer.

What were some of your first experiences that led you to be submissive?

He hit me.

A slightly *tongue in cheek* agirl

< Message edited by agirl -- 11/26/2007 7:03:30 AM >

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RE: How and when did you realize you were submissive? - 11/26/2007 7:32:03 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
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I was born with a submissive personality. I from the start enjoyed pleasing other people and in almost a need way to make sure other people around me were happy or at least not needing anything I could do before I could focus on myself.

I stumble into the life by responding to and searching out by being dominated and objectified during sex until I met a couple who introduced me to this life and help me build the bridge from sexual acts to the whole picture and the mental dynamics. I basically stumbled around searching for this without realizing and then got my ah ha moment.

I have never believed just being on the submissive side in terms of personality means this life is meant for you. I think, certainly for me, the domination from another person I care for mixes in to create happiness on a level that I cannot get any other way.

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RE: How and when did you realize you were submissive? - 11/26/2007 7:45:36 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: breastbonder

Was it an aha! moment or a gradual progression?

nope

quote:

Was there any events in particular that helped the realization?

merely chatting with a dominant guy online about 4 yrs ago who merely pointed out i was submissive.

quote:

Do you think you realized it, i.e. was born that way or became that way?

with Daddy being a psychiatrist, He simply "analyzed" that i was born submissive though i do enjoy having some control

quote:

What were some of your first experiences that led you to be submissive?

just talking with Daddy and learning about me than i never knew before

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...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

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RE: How and when did you realize you were submissive? - 11/26/2007 7:53:49 AM

pleasureforck

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Met my Sir online in a role playing game.When we first met in person I just happened to mention how I always wanted to be handcuffed and he also playfully spanked me and I liked it. I then started researching and learned so much about myself. I have just kept wanting to go further and further ever since to the pleasant surprise of my Sir. He had played with past gf's but had always wanted more. Our lives changed from playing a video game. Sure never expected that.

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RE: How and when did you realize you were submissive? - 11/26/2007 7:55:02 AM

midnightwench

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/18/2007
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I figured out I was a pain slut way before I realised I was submissive. How I found out about the submissiveness is that I was living with a D/s couple that introduced me to the Gor novels. I rebelled against the idea considering I was raised in a very feminist household.. but found myself really enjoying the novels, and decided to give them a try. Although I do not prefer the Gorian lifestyle so much, I never went back to vanilla.

As far as being "born" a submissive.. I believe I was. When i finally came out of the closet to my mother about being a submissive...she told me she was to. Apparently she had just come to the conclusion that she had been living her life all wrong. Genetics? who knows..lol

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RE: How and when did you realize you were submissive? - 11/26/2007 8:12:47 AM

Einzelganger

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From: Orlando, FL
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I was born this way, and have always had a submissive personality. I never could say no to anyone who hadn't pissed me off, even if they were asking the impossible. I've even had this reflex to do what's asked of me without thinking, as long as I can remember. I've always enjoyed doing things for people, especially covertly, so they never know who did it...I guess that's just me amusing myself though. On top of all that, I've always experienced a bit of uneasiness accepting thanks for anything; I feel sort of embarassed/bashful any time someone thanks me for something, and I really don't know why, or if this has anything to do with my submissive nature.

The realization was a little odd. I was dating a submissive woman without that realization; a mutual vanilla friend tried the matchmaking thing with the two of us, since we were so alike, and after a while, she finally explained to me why it just wouldn't click: we both wanted someone more in-charge. This was the point at which she explained that she was a submissive, and thought I was, too. I didn't really believe her at first, but when I looked back on my previous relationships, my life, my choices, etc., it all made sense.

I hope this helps. *smiles*

-Einzelgänger

P.S. Nice topic; it made me think a good bit...

< Message edited by Einzelganger -- 11/26/2007 8:15:15 AM >

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RE: How and when did you realize you were submissive? - 11/26/2007 9:33:50 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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ORIGINAL: breastbonder

quote:

Was it an aha! moment or a gradual progression?

the "aha!" moment wasn't that this slave was submissive, but that folks base entire relationships off that particular orientation and it's compliment. this slave was taught that it was appropriate to seek out males for intimate relationships, as a compliment to her being female...not "Dominants" to compliment her submissive-ness. for the majority of this slave's life, she interpreted what most folks describe here as a good and decent Master/Mistress/Dominant/Domme/Daddy/Mommy as a benevolent, supportive partner in an intimate relationship---this slave always thought of them as husband and wife, even if they weren't officially married, or of the same genitalia.

quote:

Was there any events in particular that helped the realization?

this slave was taught that obeying and submitting to the one in authority over you was the way to avoid corporal(or other forms of) punishment and was also the "right" thing to do.

quote:

Do you think you realized it, i.e. was born that way or became that way?

born with the tendency then cultivated by years of training.

(in reply to breastbonder)

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RE: How and when did you realize you were submissive? - 11/26/2007 10:11:02 AM

salilus

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I had sumissive tendencies all of my life, but I didn't actually submit to anyone until a few years ago, when I moved in with my current owner. Before I started really giving up control to him, I realise that I've pretty much just been a kinky masochist who pretended to be a submissive by doing 'submissive things,' in the past.

(in reply to breastbonder)

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RE: How and when did you realize you were submissive? - 11/26/2007 11:38:49 AM

rubberpet

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It wasn't an aha moment or a gradual progression. The first thing that I can remember was receiving a birthday spanking from a girl I had a crush on when I turned 12. My friends who knew I had a crush on her told her about it, so she convinced them to chase me around and catch me so she could give me my birthday spanking. At recess, they chased me around until they cornered me in a classroom. She came in a few moments later and bent me over a desk and sat on my back as she proceeded to spank me for my birthday. It felt wonderful, but I obviously didn't know why. I thought I was just weird. So, a few years later, I got the internet at my house and started doing research. That was probably the aha!

Around that time, Batman Returns (with Michelle Pfieffer as Catwoman) came out. That was when my lust for latex was born. Another aha!!! So I did more research and that's when I realized I wasn't the only one out there like me. Yay!!! A submissive rubberist was born!

All that research and learning led me to where I am today...in love and at the service of the sexiest and most wonderful gothic goddess I could have ever hoped to find. ***deep sigh***

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RE: How and when did you realize you were submissive? - 11/26/2007 12:00:10 PM

littleone35

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As for me i was born this way but did not realize why i always wantd to please people. About 8 years ago i met my mentor, he was a friend first ant through talking and later meeting he told me i am submissivie. I said no what are you crazy, but he gave me some links to read and i realized he was right, he then became my mentor.

Matt's littleone

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RE: How and when did you realize you were submissive? - 11/26/2007 12:07:17 PM

HotFaerieMama

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i was 18 and i met a guy who was a dom and he helped me learn that the thoughts i had ( i had told no one else my thoughts) were normal and that i was a submissive.. i was collared by him for a year.. then he poofed.. and i had to " de program" myself.. but it still shows its self...

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RE: How and when did you realize you were submissive? - 11/26/2007 12:21:05 PM

forg0ttenclone

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There was no real "aha!" moment for me. Though as a child around the age of 12 or 13, i found one of my father's pornographic magazines with S&M related photos. Granted in all of it's cheesiness, it piqued my curiosity. Once i got the internet, that was all she wrote. I knew what i was interested in and went for it. Upon the glory of the internet, i was able to delve into reading about bdsm and D/s. I could not get enough and still cannot for that matter.

But i have known from square one that i am a submissive through and through. But until recent had i had the opportunity to delve into it once and for all. Through out my vanilla relationships, there was always a void. Now that i am realizing who and what i am, that void is gone. I have met the most amazing Goddess for whom words cannot describe. She has and is helping me to discover the true freedom i find in being submissive to Her. It's a journey i've longed and yearned for, for too long. It is all like a dream come true.

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"I have fallen to my knees unable to rise, what kind of trap is this? What kind of chains have tied my hands and feet? It is so strange, so wonderful this helplessness of mine!"

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