How do you set your mind free... (Full Version)

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MasterofScyn -> How do you set your mind free... (11/27/2007 5:52:13 PM)

I know this type of thing can not be totally taught, and honestly I have been debating for quite sometime on whether or not to ask this. And it's pretty personal too..  But, here it goes..
 
Since I'm still new to the idea of being a slave, for the most part I have been closed off with myself for so long that I can't seem to completly free myself up. I want to be the best pet to Master. Yet sometimes it feels like I fight him on some things... Not like fight fight, but play fight alot.
 
Like for example, he's a boob kind of guy, loves to pay ALOT of attention to my nipples and such. For as much as this does in fact turn me on, I'm not really used to it, not used to the feeling at all, therefor I tend to hide them alot, push him away teasingly and so on.
 
Question is, how do you get used to something that your Master enjoys, yet your just simply not used to it enough to just let it happen. (If that made any sense at all). How does one get into the mind set that she/he is a slave, suppose to do has the Master wishes. I feel like I'm still holding back on some level, I have come a long ways, in many ways... I want to enjoy the same things he does when it comes to so much touching... I used to be a touchy feely kind of person.. But thanx to my ex for the last 8 years I've kind lost that... Not sure how to get it back. I don't like to push him away, even when I'm just playing around.. Yet I can't seem to find away past that..
 
Thank you for any advice.
 
Scyn ~
 



Sabella -> RE: How do you set your mind free... (11/27/2007 6:00:41 PM)

I'll bet in the throes of passion you and your nipples are quite wanton :) A demure and bashful offering, full of blushing and lowered eyes, pinking yet reticent - who wouldn't love it? I think with some things it's best not to fight it. As your confidence grows you may or may not become more bold. Either way if your master loves you now he loves THIS about you also.

But you can further your journey thru talk. Maybe while he is admiring them close your eyes and ask "do you like that, does it please you?" ect ect. Your own excitement will excite him and then further excite YOU if you get my meaning. Play with it. And them [;)]



marieToo -> RE: How do you set your mind free... (11/27/2007 6:04:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterofScyn

How does one get into the mind set that she/he is a slave, suppose to do has the Master wishes. I feel like I'm still holding back on some level, I have come a long ways, in many ways... 



Well, I'm certainly no expert, as I myself have a long way to go in so many ways, but the way I look at this type of thing is that it's like exercising a new muscle.  You have to get used to it, and build it up.  As you said you have come a long way in many ways, and you will probably come a longer way as time and the relationship progress.
Sometimes I wrestle with things too, then I sort of take some time to reflect and eventually accept, and little by little I feel like I am giving more of myself, even though there are these little battles along that way that I have to put up.
So, yeah, I think it's about going through the process, and going through the growing pains along the way, and hopefully coming out at the end a little bit better for it.  I really haven't found that there's any shortcut to this stuff. 



takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: How do you set your mind free... (11/27/2007 6:33:44 PM)

Everything my Owner has done to me and how he does it has been new to me. i wasn't use to any of it. i have to say though feeling free for me comes from knowing that i love him and that whatever he is doing to me he enjoys and that thrills me because i want him to always be able to use my body and enjoy doing so any way he pleases.Not to mention the fact that i live for his touch.



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: How do you set your mind free... (11/27/2007 6:46:46 PM)

It is just something that when I did it over it became familiar and second nature. Just be honest with your Master about why you have these feelings and it can be worked on. Keep doing these things and they will be less uncomfortable and more enjoyable to you with time.



MasterofScyn -> RE: How do you set your mind free... (11/27/2007 8:10:54 PM)

We have a strong communication so he does know how I feel... Then it turns out to him asking if I want him to stop lol.. Course I say no, but he does understand the lack of affection I've had. I had a feeling there wasn't any real easy answer... Guess deep down I just wanted some assurance that the little things like this can be "freed" I guess is the best word to use.
 
Just lot of the feelings I have for Master are new to me, never in my life I thought I would feel like this.. With that I don't want to have anything that blocks towards him. Granted he tore down this incredible castle I built up, shattered the chains that guarded my heart... Now he's going threw this castle of mine and opening all the doors!! With this door, it just feels like I'm not 100% submitting to him. He loves me no matter what and he does like it when I play around like that.... Gives him a reason to drag me upstairs. [:D]  I just can't help but do it everytime though.. Not sure why it is so hard to get over this little bump. It may not seem like a huge deal to lot of people, for some reason it is to me. [:o]
 
I'll keep working on it though. It has been a tough year for the both of us. Our first year together also. Kind of making it my new years goal to get past stuff like this. Kind of tuff when all you have ever known are the fools that have this *wam bam thank you mam* attitude and when a good one comes along.. it's a complete shock to the system...
 
Scyn ~
 
 



DesFIP -> RE: How do you set your mind free... (11/27/2007 8:47:03 PM)

You were taught for 8 years to shut down. It may take almost that long to get back to where you were before. 

I find that when I am least able to accept affection is the time I most need it. Luckily he will ignore my wishes at those times and drag me into his arms, keeping me there until I relax.

As far as the nipple play, he probably enjoys the game of you trying to hide them while he shoves his hand down your shirt anyway. The Man does at least.



SayaNereida -> RE: How do you set your mind free... (11/28/2007 6:29:26 AM)

Scyn,

You've set a goal, identified the 'problem', talked to him about the 'problem' and you are working through the problem....I'd say that's pretty damn good.

When we (as individuals) have ideals in mind of how we wish TO BE (particularly for someone else), we are often more dissappointed than they are because we are busy looking toward the end result, rather than the small steps it is taking us to get there.

Luckily, it seems, he sees the 'small steps' and is pleased.

Perhaps, if you looked at how far you've come, rather than how far you have yet to go?

Saya

PS. I began this relationship with similar apprehensions, Sir is VERY much a breast man and it has taken time to accept a grope, tickle, tweek, etc. He also, to 'ease' me into it comes up behind me, wraps his arms around me, nibbles my neck (because I REALLY like that) and at the same time 'pays attention' to my breasts...the neck thing distracts me from the discomfort I may feel with the breast play.

Funny thing, I've never been with a guy this into breasts, so it is VERY new to me but slowly adjusting, as well as finding I have a new 'turn on' switch. [:)]



SimplyMichael -> RE: How do you set your mind free... (11/28/2007 7:21:42 AM)

Perfectly normal to feel this way and of course it can change!  You can't force it to change but if he is the loving guy he sounds like, it will happen.  In fact, the less you stress about it the quicker it is likely to change for you.

quote:

  I used to be a touchy feely kind of person.. But thanx to my ex for the last 8 years I've kind lost that


If your relationship with your ex can change you in 8 years, I bet a good man can change you in a lot less!



toservez -> RE: How do you set your mind free... (11/28/2007 9:10:42 AM)

Focus on it is not about your pleasure or your feelings. Literally in your example detach your thought of what I am feeling and replace it with a concentration of making sure you are maximizing the availability for your Master to indulge. The freedom comes when this becomes second nature and your mind has accepted your Master’s actions to be first and absolute and not first am I wanting or enjoying my nipples being played with.

Same thing with all the mundane things as well. A large part of being a slave is letting go of preferences and judging things in a right or wrong way and just doing things. It is quite an eye opening experience how we convolute our lives with assigning these values to most things in our lives and learning that they are totally arbitrary and mean nothing. The freedom comes from letting go of these values and to simply focus on the task at hand and the way your Master wants it.

It is not just about overt decisions being lifted from you but all the tiny ones we go through every day not thinking about that often get lifted as well.




breatheasone -> RE: How do you set your mind free... (11/28/2007 11:40:02 AM)

If it were not for my Masters DAILY affirmation of me and Us, along with His undying patients. I would not be as far along as I am. 



laurell3 -> RE: How do you set your mind free... (11/28/2007 6:23:13 PM)

Stop pushing yourself to be there and just have faith that you will get there when you do.  Accept and trust his leadership and just be.  I think you're stressing over not being there will most likely just make it worse.  You won't always like all the things he does, but it's not about liking everything, it's about servicing him and his likes.  Sometimes I just like the way he likes it (ie: the service) and not the act and honestly a sadist wouldn't really want you to like everything (if he is one).

You sound like you're doing what you should be.  Sit back and enjoy the ride.



MasterofScyn -> RE: How do you set your mind free... (11/28/2007 9:22:46 PM)

Thank you all for the kind words and advice. I had a feeling it was an over time thing. I understand perfectly what your saying Laurell, in all out honesty I'm not stressing over it enough to where it's a problem. Though it is something that just kind of sneaks in there off and on. It's mostly one of those random thoughts that you can't make go away.
 
I am glad that I'm on the right path, my past and my ex really did a number on me. But I am a lot happier now, definatly a better person... It's just the little tiny details now ... Gotta love those hehe..
 
Scyn ~



wisteriaV -> RE: How do you set your mind free... (11/29/2007 4:54:30 AM)

Master is a romantic and as such he likes to be touchy feely alot. In the begining of our relationship it drove me nuts and I would think in the back of my mind he needed to get a grip on his touching fetish. After speaking to him about it, I looked at it as his way of showing affection and changed the mindset I had. Now, I will do it to him and it makes him smile.



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