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Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/1/2007 7:34:07 AM

alphaleague

Posts: 16
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline

How do you reconcile following someone's wishes when what they want you to do is incorrect? For instance, if you know that if you pour draino down a sink but instead replace the trap underneath because it leaks (hypothetical scenerio). How do you reconcile that when they are insistant that you pour the draino? I as a sub would not want them to have what they do not work out but may in this case already know what will happen. I don't want to argue with them and if they are insistant after I voice my concerns what do you do? Let it break or possibly cause more problems (in this case fill the bathroom cabinet with draino)? This is a perplexing problem to me that has come up before and doesnt seem to have one simple answer? How do others handle this? How would a Mistress prefer it to be handled?

Post #: 1

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/1/2007 8:21:20 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Generally I don't give such detailed directions.

I'd say "Check the drain out and fix it" and then it's up to my slave to do what needs to be done.

If I know how to fix it, I'm the type of person who'd just do it herself.

Beyond that if I'm incorrect about something my slaves are trained in how to politely tell me that I have enough respect for myself and control over myself to accept the information and correct my instructions. Someone who is not mature enough to do that, in my opinion, is probably not really ready for a serious Ds relationship yet.

_____________________________

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TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to alphaleague)

Post #: 2

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/1/2007 8:34:37 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

i would explain politely what may happen, then if She still insisted on Her way i would do it.

It would be easier to say okay but still do it my own way, however if asked how i fixed something i wouldnt lie, so i dont see that as an option

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 3

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/1/2007 8:51:12 AM

Alethea

Posts: 11
Status: offline

In my opinion when giving instructions it is vital is keep the ego in hand. Is any 1 an authority on the whole world?

Advice - Be humble enough to speak up be humble enough to allow others to speak reason.

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 4

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/1/2007 6:37:09 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

If a sub can explain to Me politely and rationally and logically why My way won't work and his/her will ... I am all ears! In the case of the Draino ... I'd be like Tammyjo and say "Can you find out why the sink is blocked and fix it? Let Me know if We need to buy Draino!" However, should I have been silly enough to give a specific order without understanding the specific situation first ... I would readily stand correction.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to Alethea)

Post #: 5

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/1/2007 6:41:30 PM

undinerising

Posts: 36
Joined: 11/16/2007
Status: offline

I'd probably have assumed Draino was the solution as well. If a sub I was with volunteered more information on the subject, I'd probably say 'OK, the new plan is that you're going to go have a look at that drain, do whatever you have to to fix it- including calling a plumber as needed- and then tell me what you did and how.'

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 6

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/1/2007 6:41:37 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I am with the others, I can't imagine micromanaging a task in the wrong way---because that would be deliberately setting up my sub to FAIL, not a thing I do. If he/she has a better way of accomplishing a task, sometimes I am interested, sometimes I just want my directions followed. If I have given directions that are just plain wrong, hey, let me know in a polite fashion.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 7

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/1/2007 8:31:21 PM

Ecossaise

Posts: 34
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

When I give an instruction, I often append the question "Is that clear?" to it. That gives my girl the scope to point anything out, with due politeness. I am open to a respectful request for permission to speak. I am even open, at times of emergency, to an interjection which would be disrespectful at other times (I don't want my girl to be waiting for permission to speak, while I step off the edge of a cliff!). I hope that helps.

_____________________________

M

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 8

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/2/2007 6:33:48 AM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: alphaleague

I don't want to argue with them and if they are insistant after I voice my concerns what do you do?

Well, there are a few possible interpretations here.

If there are two problems, and i'm only being instructed to address one of them, i'll usually find some way to just fix the other problem as well. We don't have a micromanagement situation where i need to ask permission for everything i do, so if the plumbing leaks, i just fix the plumbing, and use the drain cleaner afterwards as instructed.

If what i'm instructed to do is going to cause problems, i'll do what i can to mitigate those problems before i do it (say, placing a bucket under the sink plumbing before using the drain cleaner)

Generally, though, my wife is extremely intelligent, and not inclined to false pride. If the project involves a field where i have significantly more knowledge than she does (auto repair, electrical, etc.), she's very unlikely to argue with my suggestions on how to do it (or will just say, "this is broken, fix it", and leave the specifics up to me). If it's an area i'm not well-educated in and she gives specific instructions, i just have to accept that she might be right, and my assessment of the situation is wrong (*gasp* No!) and do as instructed.

Either way, i think the important thing is to not say "I TOLD YOU SO!" afterwards.

(in reply to alphaleague)

Post #: 9

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/2/2007 1:33:30 PM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

I know two things about drains.

I know Drano is the worst thing to put in them, and the other one is to listen to whom is fixing it because I don't have a clue.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 10

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/2/2007 6:27:32 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: alphaleague

How do you reconcile following someone's wishes when what they want you to do is incorrect? For instance, if you know that if you pour draino down a sink but instead replace the trap underneath because it leaks (hypothetical scenerio). How do you reconcile that when they are insistant that you pour the draino? I as a sub would not want them to have what they do not work out but may in this case already know what will happen. I don't want to argue with them and if they are insistant after I voice my concerns what do you do? Let it break or possibly cause more problems (in this case fill the bathroom cabinet with draino)? This is a perplexing problem to me that has come up before and doesnt seem to have one simple answer? How do others handle this? How would a Mistress prefer it to be handled?

Like most I give instructions like fix the sink please and expect whatever needs to be is done.
However if I do give a specific way of wanting something done and they feel it could be done different I am all ears as long as they remain respectful.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to alphaleague)

Post #: 11

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/2/2007 8:02:17 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

As Mistress if I felt you knew what you were doing, I'd leave you alone to do it. Why should I tell you how to do it incorrectly when its going to cost me more money to have to straighten it out? Nope I leave my sub alone when I know he is capable of handling something. If he isn't we research it together and take it from there.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to alphaleague)

Post #: 12

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/2/2007 10:18:18 PM

Sky42

Posts: 31
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline

If my owner asked me to do something incorrectly, and I wasn't sure she knew, I would tell her, respectfully, what the outcome would be, or why it wouldn't work (not just "That won't work" or "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard", but rather "That might not be the best way" or "Miss, perhaps this way would be better?"). If she still says to do it the 'wrong' way, then it's done that way. Either she knew it was wrong, and is simply doing such for 'punishment' later, has other plans, or knows something I don't about the situation. In the end, if she tells me to do something a specific way, and it turns out badly, as long as I followed her desires, then I'm doing what I am supposed to do, even if it ends up burning down the house.

Granted, a large part of this, I think, will depend on the dynamic of the Dom/Sub as well. If the Dom wishes to never be questioned under anuy circumstances by the Sub, simply obey. If the Dom wishes for the obedience, but intelligent obedience (IE: Inform of possible damage) then inform, politely.

The worst they can do is spank you. *winks* (yes yes, they can do much worse, I'm sure, it was just an example.)

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 13

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/3/2007 12:11:09 AM

FullfigRIMaam

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Advice - Be humble enough to speak up be humble enough to allow others to speak reason.

I like this! I may use it in the future when explaining that while I am the grand ruler, I will stop and listen to reason, most of the time...

M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to Alethea)

Post #: 14

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/3/2007 2:49:56 AM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

Very often things are not right or wrong but there are different way of dealing with the same problem. sometime I'm more directive and prescriptive and sometimes I am not. When I am, I am always open to feedback, cause that way I've got more info. I still might want it the way I want it. Unless you tell me draino is gonna completely fuck up the sink, why not do it? I think it is important to be clear when you, the sub, have a preference and a perspective rather than when something is actually "wrong".

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to alphaleague)

Post #: 15

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/3/2007 5:22:06 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I'm not nearly so full of Myself to think that I know the best way to handle every possible thing that will ever happen. In fact, things like sink repair, car maintenace, electronics, and the like, I know I don't have the best grasp on, so I don't give details on how the situation should be handled. If something comes up that My boy is more knowledgable than I to correct, it's simple enough to tell him what I want done, and have him execute the result.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to arayofsunshine55)

Post #: 16

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/3/2007 5:28:41 AM

Dari

Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline

Sometimes, as sunshine pointed out, it's not right or wrong but just a different way of doing things.

Then again, I tend to prefer to order something to be done, not necessarily how to do it, unless I have a specific and detailed knowledge of how it should be done. And if I go to the trouble of detailing it, then pointing out that it could be done "this other way" works, but if I'm insistent? Do it my way. If I have to pay to fix it, then it's no one's fault but my own stupidity.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 17

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/3/2007 11:50:42 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

A statement by one of my gurus: You are not surrendering to the 'rightness' of the Master, you are surrendering to the Master.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to alphaleague)

Post #: 18

RE: Being told to do something incorrectly by a Mistress - 12/4/2007 1:20:48 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

To expand on what M Fire mentioned:

If you can't trust the judgment of your dominant, then perhaps you're in a relationship you shouldn't be in.

She might not be right, and she might even give you the privilege of expressing dissent, but ultimately you can either bend to her will and do it her way, or you can do it your way and accept the consequences. Honestly, it's up to you to decide how important obeying her is, to you.

Personally, if I told my slave to pour all her perfume mixed with wine down the drain to unclog it, and she refused, we'd be having a conversation about how important her obedience was to us.

On the other hand, if you do as she suggests, and it doesn't work, and you (respectfully) offered your advice originally, you've left the decision on how to handle the issue in her hands. If she handles it gracefully and admits "I guess you were right after all" then at least you gave her the opportunity to do her job. If she gets catty about it...well, that's up to you to decide if you enjoy being with someone like that.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 19

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