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RE: HARD? - 8/16/2005 10:20:51 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
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Hello There,
before I answer the post question I'd like to say I don't thing being a sub means I'm a doormat at all!!!! I submit to my Master fully and completely always and the last thing he'd ever do is treat me like a doormat. Instead he treats me like His prize Ferrari (His words, not mine). Not only does he not step on my feelings, but He's very nurturing, He's constantly telling me how proud of me He is, He tells me He thanks God for me comming into His life & cares for me mentally and physically.

As far as the question in the post, No I don't find it hard to be a sub/slave all the time. I actually love it 24/7 365!
It's who I am, It's how I live, and it's what I want in my life. When I'm at a low point and my Master has desires something of me I am grateful He wants attention. Even if I'm not necessarily into it at that moment I still love the fact I can serve Him in ways he enjoys, and that He desires me.

Being my Master's slave completes me, makes me feel whole and gives me the love I need to be happy. I could never consider it a burden or hard for me.

Sincerely,
sub suzanne

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RE: HARD? - 8/16/2005 11:32:38 AM

zaynab

Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavedesires

zay... in light of email i received, what part is not being, feeling submissive? Do the alter personalities sabatoge the obedience or the surrender or the yeilding of control and authority?
just wondering.........

~~shy

*shrugging shoulders..... I don't know. Getting to know my alters is an ongoing journey for me... I don't think I figured that question of yours out yet. I will figure that out one day... we're cutting down on the chaos of our real life here over the next month, so after that, I'm hoping to have more time and focus for figuring out the mechanics of my alters better. *sighhhh

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zaynab[DM]

quote:

i used to care... but now i take a pill for that

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RE: HARD? - 8/16/2005 6:51:53 PM

Hallittlelolita

Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
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All I can say is submissiveness it's in you 100% or it's not in you at all that's the way I look at it anyway. I devote being submissive 24/7 to my master/husband but that's the way I am and I can't change that.

Sincerely,
Andie and her Master Hal

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Post #: 23

RE: HARD? - 8/16/2005 10:17:32 PM

zaynab

Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
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first know, that I was raised as a sub and I am still one, so yes, this is me naturally...
and I love being a sub... so... think I'll elaborate a bit more ...
Most of the time, I can hardly wait for him to tell me to do something and when he does, I'm thrilled, do it with enthusiasm and feel great knowing I made him proud of me.

Some of the time, He tells me to do something and I think... "oh man! dammit! I don't want to do that right now! I hate this.... why do I have to always do what he tells me to do, this is so unfair and stupid... I then try to bargain or negotiate a deal of some type... and up until recently that was very easy to do, which got me out of the task usually.... (think he's going to ditch this part in the future)

And once in awhile, I feel totally rebellious.... MUTINY!.... not only do I not want to do what he tells me, but I am NOT going to do it. Absolutely NOT! If I'm forced to do it, I get furious and end up doing something out of anger, (nothing bad) but motivated by anger, causes me to make mistakes or do something stupid.....

then I feel so foolish for that. Last time it was being mad that I had to do my daily walk, so I didn't pay attention that it was high noon on an August day, I forgot to take water, I wore clothes that were too hot, etc. etc. My route is 2 1/2 miles and by the time I was heading home, I was very sick, it was too hot that day for that.

Bottom line is... I dont know if me always changing in how I feel about being a sub is normal for a sub, or if it's not normal.

In my alter group, I have many diferent types of people.... many are submissives, some are dominants, 1 is a lesbian, some are bi, some are hetero men, some "littles", etc.

I frequently switch alters so I can change who and how I am, many times in one day, so could this frequent flare up of rebellion be coming from my alters switching around?
Or do other subs feel that big of difference regarding 'happy to please him' and 'hell no, i'm not doing it'?

< Message edited by zaynab -- 8/16/2005 10:18:58 PM >

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RE: HARD? - 8/17/2005 2:23:44 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
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This lifestyle isn't all fun and games. If it were meant to be easy, we probably wouldn't all own so many floggers and such.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

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Post #: 25

RE: HARD? - 8/17/2005 2:02:22 PM

pet4mymaster

Posts: 22
Joined: 7/2/2005
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i understand your feelings of wanting to serve one moment and then thinking that you aren't going to because you don't want to the next. i struggeled with those same feelings alot in the begining with Sir, and i do still sometimes. do i ever doubt my choice to wear my Master's collar? NEVER!! do i ever feel like i could collapse under the mental pressure of haveing to do everything exactly right? sometimes ,yes, i do.
then i remeber that HE has never done anything to hurt me or put me down in anyway. HE only wants me to serve Him,but HE dose not expect perfection. He still knows that i am human and that very fact is what makes me get over my (rebelious) thoughts.
if you want to talk further,i am alway available and happy to help....while we may not all agree here on our feelings, i think we can all agree that we need someone to talk to every now and then.

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i give my mind,my heart,my body and soul to my Sir and am rewarded daily by being allowed to serve and please Him.

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Post #: 26

RE: HARD? - 8/19/2005 1:06:20 AM

APhacetoSit

Posts: 87
Joined: 11/23/2004
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i am sub, all the time. i have learned to manage expectations in the "vanilla" world, and find it quite relaxing, comforting and arousing, depending on the circumstances, to release that manging to my Mistress. the part that i find difficult to maintain is the non-submissive nature of my life outside of the BDSM world.

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Post #: 27

RE: HARD? - 8/20/2005 8:04:39 PM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
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is it hard?

there are many fine answers here.
and mine?
it is more difficult to divide my vanilla self from my slave self.
being the slave is easy.
being the vanilla is easy.
no issues.
but to divide them? jeeez louise. it is so so difficult to do.
wolfie
owned/operated Ms Laura

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"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

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RE: HARD? - 8/21/2005 7:44:32 AM

Sirsubby

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/11/2005
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It is hard for this slave to always be in the slave mode/mood. Some days when she doesnt feel to be in the slave mode, her Master makes sure to remind her of what she is and what her purpose is. He will discuss this so He can understand better, the reason(s) and try to solve the situation. Like alot of ppl said, Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme aren't mind readers.

She guess we (subs) all have our days......

Sir's subby

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Post #: 29

RE: HARD? - 8/22/2005 7:33:47 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
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i tried to respond to this Zaynab when you first wrote it, but my browser wasnt working. It wouldnt go through.

Personally, i think what you feel is normal. Normal in my world, atleast. You arent asking "is it hard to be submissive" . Looking at your question, my first response was HECK yes. But then looking with in myslef and rolling a film over all the nights and days with Master.. its like.. wait.. All the submissive traits.. no they arent hard. It wasnt hard to take get him a drink, or sit at his feet, twasnt hard to want to please him and sever him dinner, not hard. Little things like that. the desire to please some one. To do what you can to make them happy. to naturally follow and not lead. Those to me make some one "submissive" (among other things, but i'll spare the ramble in hopes my point was gotten)

Being submissive and being submissive in a D/s relationship, i think are two different things. Being just plain ol submissive in your life and with ppl, you dont have all these added elements of a D/s relationship thrown in. You dont give up control, you dont obey, you dont try teach yourself new behavoirs, you dont experience new and strange things. Heck, you dont get "introuble" or "punished" you dont go stand yourself in the corner. You dont push yourself to get over strange and new fears (well not usually). You dont answer to anyone. You dont "disapoint" others,. You dont have "expectations" to live up to. You dont have to learn to "treat" some one as a Dom. Needless to say (so i neednt ramble) There are alot of things that i personally thing go on in a D/s Relationship that do not go on while you are just a submissive flitting about the world. You are just being you, and you dont have to worry about "being" somebodies submissive. Even though you are submissive, you arent in anybodies control. Its your control. You're doing it cos, well you want to. Now its like, you are doing it because you are told.

i think its hard to be in a Dom/sub relationship. i think its hard to learn all these things. Yeah i think its hard sometimes! But nothing good comes easy.

Zaynab, i used to feel like what you describe alot. God only knows the rebellion i get at times. Want to know some of the things i used to think when told something. "And you are WHO?" "in your DREAMS buddy" ""not on your life, over my dead body" "you're out of your mind" AND just plainly " i THINK FING NOT" You get the point. i had a torrent of rebellious thoughts when told to do something.

no one ever said its easy to give up control. There's alot of things working against it, and one.two things working for it. You're Dom and you. What helped sometimes for me, was remebering that is was for the best for US. And to have some faith, god knows when you lose that faith, it all hits the fan!

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