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EvO -> RE: Ad hominem d/s (8/14/2005 7:38:19 PM)
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Seems like as good of a place as any to make my first post here.
Here is my views and how I move along in my relationships.
We are all human beings so it is inherent that we will not always agree. I value my submissives opinion and will always listen to it. But it does not mean I will always agree, nor always comment on it. At the root of most arguments is something pety. The root is rarely ever the topic of discussion. So being the cool, calm, collected person, as the Dominant should always be *cough*, it is our responsibility to figure out where the root of the argument is coming from. Direct the attention to that point, handle it and be done. Continuing on with a pety discussion can only lead to resentment, it may be temporary but some form of bad feelings will come out of it in the end. It is the Dominant's responsibility to handle the situation and get it back under control.
So what is the right way to qualm an argument that has gone out of control? Rather a generalized question if you ask me. For one, it depends on the two people arguing, secondly it depends on the subject matter. Each situation has to be taken individually. As I've said it is the Dominant's repsonsibility, but I do not agree he/she should just say, zip the lip. Part of the role we have taken on is one of control. That goes far beyond telling someone what to do. That means you need to be in control of yourself first and foremost. So ultimately the Dominant has to use all resources at their disposal to end the argument in a rational, calm way. It's not productive to make the submissive seem ignorant for their point, but nor is it productive to keep arguing over a subject neither are willing to give on.
I am not even completely sure this has answered or even come close to the topic. Just my views. Take em or leave em.
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